A Heart's a Heavy Burden

Today we woke up a little late, and were both frisky right away in the morning so we decided to take advantage of that!

Then we relaxed with coffee before needing to head out to lunch with Steve’s parents and grandpa, who just turned 92. We planned to get to Roseville a little early so we could stop at Half Priced Books. Today was a bust for me, no cheap SK hardcovers, no Murakami I don’t have, no manga that seemed interesting and no humor books that caught my eye. I was feeling flirty with Steve though so I made my trip interesting that way. He ended up finding a DS game he wanted and a manual for a Castlevania game he was missing. Score for Steve! Then we needed to go over to Baker’s Square.

When we first started doing lunches with his grandpa, it was at an Applebee’s, and that sucked. Now we go next door to Baker’s Square, which still sucks, but at least the pie is good. The food itself is bland and mushy. I opted for the in-season peach pecan pie, which is like a cheesecake with peach preserves on it. It was pretty yummy. The conversation was fun this time, everyone appeared to be in good moods and we planned for Steve and maybe me to go up north the weekend of the 19th for four-wheeling. Steve’s parents talked about plans for an RV so they can drive around the country during the cold months. I knit on my second Totoro sock, woo.

Next on our agenda was MilkJam. We had planned to go there since we wouldn’t be far from Minneapolis, but the drive ended up being like 25 minutes anyway. The weather was good and the being with Steve was awesome so I didn’t mind. I parked us a few blocks away, and we were surprised to find that there was like no line... score! We each got waffle cones, me with Cereal Killer and Steve with the mango sticky rice. I loved mine, but also I wanted the mango. I’ll probably get that next time. We walked and ate our cones, and just enjoyed each other’s company.



Finally we headed home. I had thought maybe I’d play ITG, but I was not feeling it at all by the time we got home. Too much sugar for the day, so sleepy and lazy. So I knit on my sock and Steve played his game (which he eventually beat) and we watched The Office. Soon after, Ben started streaming, so we watched him try some Fantastic Beats songs and then some officials. It was a great time. Steph was in the Twitch chat and Dave was chatting with her a bit and maybe I got protective of our Officialz group when she was making comments about officials songs (we all usually communicate via the fb group vs in twitch. I’m working on it, but it’s obvious that Ben is also protective of the four of us (him, Dave, Steve and myself) and our work on Officials. So.

After he finished playing, Steve and I went back to a show and I finally went to bleach my hair so I can dye it lavender for Bethany’s wedding. Steve beat his game and we watched a few more episodes of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. We realized Netflix started us on the last season. I really enjoyed the Dana Carvey episode, and the Kate McKinnon episode even though she was so intense.

We ended the night continuing to watch Seinfeld while I iced my arms. Before that though we talked about the nuances of yoga and did a few postures. I’m super excited for Monday yoga, can’t wait to get back to the stuff I crave.

I mentioned that we had Thanksgiving at Ron and Ann's house because Ron's health was really ailing. Ron had been battling cancer for 8 years (that we know of). He was diagnosed with bladder cancer a long time ago - I swear I was a teenager when this happened, but according to this timeline, I'm wrong. He quit smoking around that time, but Ann didn't, so things are a bit iffy there. He went to chemo after finally asking my stepdad Paul for help, and for a long time we didn't hear anything. Mom and Paul always believed that Ron wasn't always open or honest about his health status. He was a stubborn German who hated looking weak. I certainly never heard about him actually saying what stage of cancer he was dealing with.

Over the past few years, Ron would occasionally mention that the cancer was back, but I think he did maybe 3 total stints of chemo over the course of the cancer. He didn't really modify his diet in any way and beyond quitting smoking, didn't alter his lifestyle. Sometime after his first remission he became a much mellower person. He laughed more and usually was good to be around. He loved Steve, and really liked to "talk shop" with him, even though *I'm* the handyman of the two of us. Steve is HOPELESS with home projects, and Ron had a meticulous setup in both his garage and a basement woodshop. But they got along really well and it was super cute how much Ron clearly liked Steve.

Over the past couple of years, I kind of felt like Ron and Ann were kind of shunning me off and on over some slight to my Aunt Nicole, who went so far as to block me on Facebook like 4 years ago for reasons I still have no idea about (we share the same political beliefs so it wasn't that, and I rarely use Facebook for anything but pictures so like, I couldn't have offended her in any way?). They are a VERY sensitive bunch, so I must have said something, which could be as minor as saying something about her hair or outfit, that made her so mad that she couldn't even see me on social media anymore and never wanted to talk to me about it. So instead of dwelling on what I could have possibly done, I just lived my life and acted the same I always do at family gatherings. only with less direct interaction with them unless they addressed me first. As I said, I have NO FUCKING CLUE what I did, so it's like I'm afraid of making it worse.

It actually kind of sucks, because my last major memory of Ron other than Thanksgiving was a couple of years ago when I went to decorate cookies at their house with my brother August, and Ann. I arrived at 3:30 on the dot, and was so proud of myself (because I'm ALWAYS late to things), and had a great time. I didn't notice at the time that Ron was pointedly ignoring me, until it was time to leave and didn't answer me when I said goodbye. Paul later texted to tell me that Ron was mad that I was late. I sent a screenshot of the text that Ann sent with the time... which said 3:30. Paul said Ron thought I was supposed to be there at 3. OKAYYYYY SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THEN. Eventually he got over it though.

Thanksgiving was really nice because Ron seemed in a pleasant mood. Drugged up and didn't move very much, but seemed content to chill and observe. He hugged me goodbye and said something like, "It was nice to see you, kiddo." That's pretty good for Ron.

On December 6th he went into hospice at home, on December 7th Nicole flew in from California, and he died on December 8th with his family around him. I was at my CPI training and it was just starting when Paul called to tell me. He was sobbing and said he just wanted me to hear it from him and then let me go. I felt sooo bad for them, I knew Nicole was a daddy's girl and Ann's been with him for a really long time. Over the weekend I bought cards for each of them (and August, who was close with Ron), and mailed them out on Monday. Having to read all those sympathy cards made me make kind of a crying scene, so Steve had to buy the cards while I pulled myself together (super uncharacteristic of me - the only other time in our relationship that I cried in public was one time when we got in a fight at Ikea in like 2012 lol and that was because I was hangry and sensitive).

Mom told me that she was going through Christmas cards she was getting and saw that I'd addressed one to just Paul, and she handed it to him and said, "I think this is for you." Then she said she looked over and he was crying into his card. She demonstrated this part in the story by making the crying face she saw. It was adorably funny. Nicole and Ann thanked me for their cards at Ron's funeral, and August texted me on Thursday thanking me and saying it meant a lot to him.

Steve, Connie, Bethany and Jake all arrived at the same time. We said hi to each person except Nicole, who was busy for the longest time. Eventually we got around to her. She was very sad. The picture collages they had up were really cool, one was all his childhood pics and pics before grandkids, and the other one was all his later life pics. There were a few cute ones of each of us kids with him - for me it was sitting on his lap probably one of the first times we met (at the house in Columbia Heights), fishing (like the one time we went with him), and when I opened an alarm clock when I was like 12.

Paul gave me the version of the verses they wanted me to read (Matthew 11:25-30). Bethany, Jake, August, Amber (August's gf), and Steve sat with me in the second row, and Connie sat behind Steve. I sat behind Paul and the family. The minister was really good, and nice. It was obvious Ann had told him how to pronounce my last name, because he said it correctly, but... he mispronounced my first name. I saw all my immediate family like, twitch in unison the first time it was mispronounced, and August giggled and made eye contact with me the second time he said it to formally introduce me (he pronounced it "Leia," like the Star Wars princess, not LEE-ah). When I went up there, I introduced myself "to those who don't know me," which was most people there. Lol. Bethany and Haley teased me about it later because OF COURSE I'd need to correct them - Bethany said her name is said wrong so consistently that "Brittany" and "Stephanie" are her alter-egos haaahaha. Haley said she's the same way, that people always mis-hear her name as Kaylie and it's fine. Not me, I'm on the spectrum, it physically hurts me to hear my name said wrong.

I was really nervous reading the piece because I had no time to practice the specific version that they wanted. The only way you could tell was by my shaky voice, but even Steve thought it was me trying not to cry (it wasn't, I was just shaking). Everyone thanked me for it and said it was beautiful, etc. but it felt so weird after grandpa Jack's funeral, where Mom had me read her personal eulogy and it was pretty lengthy. The Matthew verses (imo) are kind of vague and removed. But they meant a lot to Ann.

After that, Nicole and Paul gave their eulogies. Nicole's was super sad because she cried the whole time, talked about her dad being complicated but that she understood him in a way other people didn't, and that she was always a daddy's girl, and that she had a lot of regrets due to conflict with him and living so far away. When Paul went up there he was all, "Thanks, Nicole!" and began to tell his, which was very "Paul": kind of sarcastic, well-prepared, and full of humor and stories. He talked at length about his dad, with a good timeline of events that were funny, poignant, and engaging. They captured the many sides of Ron while also doing justice to his memory. I couldn't tell how he was telling the stories so well without stuttering or rambling. It was good. Haley said the stories were "kind of mean" but I thought they were very true to both Paul's personality and his experience.

Afterwards Steve and I went to dinner with my parents and Connie, and that was pretty good. I got in a minor argument with my dad on Facebook while we were waiting, because he tried to compare this whole net neutrality thing with buying a car ("If you want nice things, you gotta pony up") and I pointed out the comparison is meaningless and makes no sense.

It ended up being a little awkward because they accidentally gave me a meat burger and Connie my veggie burger, but I ate my fries first and Connie didn't notice she was not eatng meat, so by the time I cut my burger, she was halfway finished with hers. The waitress was super apologetic, and went to put in a new order. In the meantime, Connie and I swapped. By the end of the meal, I still hadn't gotten my replacement burger, and the waitress was so confused because I had had the one burger half. I personally did not care because the burger was very meh, but my family is INSANE about getting what you deserve, so they made sure to point it out. I ended up getting comp'd the burger AND a $10 gift card to the place. I immediately gave it to Mom because I'm never planning on going there so it didn't matter. It was really nice, and super unnecessary, lol.

By the time it was done, it was like 7:30 and we had a 40-minute drive home. On the way, Courtney tried to text me in such a way that buttered me up and convinced me to go to this Quimby party I never planned on going to, regardless of what else was going on, and I got pretty mad at her.

"Please don't make me go to Quimby's alone. I need to have secret judgement meetings with you *cry emoji* <3"

I responded:

"Haaahahaha" [New text} "We're just leaving my grandpa's funeral, I really can't do more people todayyy *crying emoji*"

This is her reponse:

"*sad emoji* I just want to hang out with the gang outside of a basement and I was looking forward to the party for a long time because of that." [New text] "But I understand. I know your grandpa's service was today so you're probably drained. I'm just being selfish."

Now, Haley and Bethany AT FIRST said that like, she was being kind of insensitive but at least she did acknowledge that she was being selfish. THEN POSTS A FACEBOOK STATUS:



KAYYYYYYY.

Like, I usually don't hold onto things for more than a couple of minutes, but I am legit angry about her whining and self-serving AND the low-key insulting the basement hangouts. I've known Courtney for 8 years and Steve has known Courtney since high school and fucking TOO BAD FOR HER if she doesn't want to hang in the basement (which has ALWAYS been Steve's MO), but to like, talk negatively about basement hangouts when that's not even part of the conversation? I take that personally. We have been telling her that if she wants to do something OUT, she needs to plan and set it up. She wants to be babied and continues hinting about things she wants to do but never actually setting something up. I refuse to baby her. I'm not going to feel guilty about how I like to spend my time, and I can't believe that she is so whiny about people not going to a party when she NEVER!!!! mentioned going to anyone. We're not even her main friends group! Quimby has parties like every weekend... how am I supposed to know WHICH she wants to go to? Regardless, the point stands to me that she was being rude as fuck about not wanting to go out after my grandpa's funeral. I was so tired and drained. God!

I seethed about it for awhile but then Nick came over and hung out with me and Steve. I watched Steve play Uncharted 4 and finished knitting another of Mom's washcloths for Christmas. It was a good night.

So, I had a really nice weekend. I took a half day on Friday for PTO and spent the afternoon and evening with the lovely Breanna and her man Lamin. Lamin is from Africa and so are the other people I met that they spend their time with. Lamin ADORES Bre and it's very obvious if you're with him for four seconds. It was really, really fun and Lamin made what he calls "African Sauce" - a mixture of an oily soup base with carrots, peppers, onions, etc. He also cooked drumsticks on the bone to the point that the meat just fell off when you ate it. They normally make it spicy but Lamin tried VERY hard to make it not spicy for me, the honored guest. It turned out very, very good. You just pour the whole thing over rice and yay! Nommy meal. Bre complained about the rice the whole time (it was very dry, I think because Lamin was concerned about keeping me too late and rushed it) while I just laughed at her because dry rice, while not preferred, is not a big deal. XD She's so funny. Lamin has a good sense of humor to match hers.

Oh, and I had to deal with lame work stuff WHILE ON PTO because that's how the job is sometimes. Bleh.

Conveniently this took until about 10pm, at which time I crashed at home for an hour and a half until I was surprised with.. GASP! Scavenger HUUUUNT! I was most thoroughly surprised/tricked AGAIN because Steve let me get all changed into comfy clothes and snuggle into bed. He kicked off the Hunt by taping the first clue to a confused Grim's cone (Grim was Mr. Freeze XD). It was Batman themed, so each person involved got be a villain for me to foil. Scott was a chilling and AMAZING Zsasz, Nick was the Joker, Noah was Calendar Man (complete with a calendar cape and shirt with an X'ed out 19 on it ahahah). Pat was the Riddler, and Faith was a nearly-nude captured Poison Ivy that I had to save (she was secluded from the boys' eyes in Pat's room and Pat was the one to write her part). Steve, was Alfred, my trusty Butler. It was so much fun.

Gifts I got include a Harley Quinn figure from Arkham Asylum, 2 Nintendo DS games, slippers from American Eagle, a full replacement set of hardcover Harry Potter books in a wizard's trunk from my AMAZING boyfriend (as my entire collection save for book 7 disappeared mysteriously a few years ago...), and a buttload of candy from my less money-fortunate friends. Oh, and Calendar man got me a calendar XD Pat went on about he had planned to prove me wrong and NOT give me an I.O.U. (I have no idea how many I've collected from him ahaha) but that the item was GUARANTEED shipping and it didn't arrive... so I got an I.O.U. A couple days later he finally checked his email and it turns out he never bought it because he entered his payment information wrong. I LOL'd. I win again!

Saturday it SNOWED. Like, 3 inches. The weather was trolling me hard that day. "Muahaha it's yo birfdai? HAVE SOME SNOW. >:D" It actually wasn't ALL that cold out and it will probably be melted by tomorrow as it's been in the mid-40's today and is supposed to be in the 50's tomorrow. Steve and I went to dinner with my parents on Sunday, and it was delicious! Prior to that Steve and I decided to hit the B-ville mall because we both needed to suck it up and buy some pants that actually FIT. Steve ended up with a good haul, including 3 pairs of "skinny" jeans from the Guys section. I say "skinny" because they're not skinny in the sense of girl pants skinny, which is what he normally wears. They are not leg-hugging like he is used to. I rather like it. Sexay ^_^ We were on our way to the Juniors section when we spotted my parents! I went BOUNDING towards them to surprise them, when I noticed they were carrying what was obviously gifts for me. I was like two feet away from them when I skidded to a halt and started shoving Steve away as fast as I could! We were able to hide from them in the slipper section, but they were rounding the escalators where we needed to be! For some reason they circled back, and Steve was like, "What if they come around that corner and see us crouching here?!" At which point I burst into quiet laughter and said that it would be hilarious. We were able to escape and sneak back upstairs and buy Steve's things and high-tail it out of there! We were very surprised when we saw August at dinner, because if he had been with them he SURELY would have seen us and ruined our noble plot not to spoil that we saw some of my gifts! Luckily they turned out to be last-minute bday gifts and not for Christmas so I didn't have to hold that secret for long. It was really fun to play Stealth Escape Mode.

I really hate spoiling surprises so if I ever do, I NEVER give it away that I knew. It just deflates the excitement the person has for the gift they're giving you! I never do it on purpose, because I LOVE being surprised.

We took Monday off as well, and while I enjoyed napping most of it away, I played a good chunk of Ar Tonelico. Steve was playing Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword all weekend. I had terrible sleep Monday night because I kept dreaming about work, all anxious and stressed out. Last night I dreamed about buying groceries and losing one of the bags with the perfect pizza in it, and going back to the grocery store and finding exotic Chobani yogurt flavors. :P

Grim hasn't been feeling well. He's not been eating, and he projectile vomited all over me and the bed this morning. He was too quick for me! So he's been spending copious amounts of time just laying in one spot. Poor guy :( But! The cone comes off today! I hope he improves then.

Last week I had all-day trainings on Thursday and Friday. They were super awesome and helpful, and half the people there were from my company, and 75% of those were from my specific location. The first day I was ultra crabby and tired from having been kept up by Grim all night, and I fully intended on being antisocial and spending the lunch hour sleeping in my car. Somehow I ended up with the MHR clique, and then life got better from there. On Friday after the training, I had to drive home from Minneapolis in rush hour, pick up Steve, and drive back in WORSE rush hour (because of the omgsomuch construction), and then wait in line outside to get into the venue because they were running a half hour late. The concert itself was amazing, and Lights is adorable. I fell more in love with her at the concert. She has a very cute stage presence and is clearly there because she enjoys it. The venue was really small and cozy. Afterwards we waited outside in the cold for 45 minutes so we could get an autograph. We were almost at the front of the line to begin with, so the majority of the waiting was just her changing and getting prepped for a billion autographs. She came out in an adorable winter coat (many people were in t-shirts and even I was just in a thin, zip-up hoodie) because it was DEFINITELY cold by 10:45pm in Minnesota. I got a signature on her album, and Steve and I each got to give her a hug! Yay! We're pretty much BFFs now ;)

On Saturday Steve and I went to Nick's sister's for a Halloween party, like we have done since we started dating. I was Catwoman, Faith was Supergirl, Steve, Nick, Scott, and Pat all went as characters from Final Fantas'y tactics. We mostly sat around and talked, and Nick's sister tried to set him up with a girl she worked with who went as a "retro zombie teacher." She came only knowing Megan, and was able to tolerate like 20 people she didn't even know. She was funny and cute, and shares similar interests, and now we all want her in the group regardless of whether Nick dates her. XD Everyone added her to Facebook but we can't Facebook stalk her because she either just got a Facebook, or doesn't put a lot of information to the public (even her pictures are only from Halloween, and she untagged herself in everyone's photos, leaving only ones she took!). Frustrating, but workable, haha.

On Sunday we ran some errands and then went to dinner with my family for Paul's birthday. It was pretty fun.

Yesterday morning after we got out of the shower I noticed Grim standing kinda funny in the corner by the bookshelves. He looked pretty stiff and his tail was shaking like it does when he's straining in the litter box. I pinned him down and felt him all over to see if he'd yelp, and he didn't. Then he walked around a little and made a couple sad meows before laying down, super-stiffly. He did this like 4 different times over the next half hour - he kept laying in positions that he must've thought would trick us into thinking he was comfortable. Like, on his back or side for tummy pets, curling his front paws to be cute, etc. I was not fooled! He was sooo sad and stiff. He was not pleased to get put in the carrier.

The vet said he was blocked but that his bladder wasn't full (aka I'm ridiculously in tune with Grimmy). She said when she went to unblock him that she was shocked at how small his pee hole is. Which is because of the scarring, and was always my worst fear/knowledge. When I clean the litterboxes it has always been very clear which pees were his and which were Nero's. Nero pees grapefruits and Grim pees... like prunes (and Grim used to pee grapefruits). She also said she had thought there was a stone in there because there was so much grit. Poor kitty :( We had a very serious talk about surgery vs putting him down. Actually we had a couple talks about the surgery throughout the day. Lucky for me I didn't have any work appointments yesterday (and I was able to move my Depo appointment to the afternoon) because I spent over 2 hours at the vet and then spent much of the rest of the day crying. I burst into tears at some point while waiting at the vet, started crying reading a magazine at the doctor's office, and pretty much any time I imagined a life without Grim. He's MY AGE in cat years. He is NOT going to die. I cried when I thought about the cost and how I was going to pay for it.

Steve and I talked it over via text all day, and in the end I asked for a personal line of credit from the bank that covers such things as "consolidating debt, tuition expenses, home improvements, and unexpected expenses". I was approved for far more than the surgery will likely cost, and the interest is 11.75% right now vs whatever like 29% on a credit card (or 3). I started to cry when telling the banker about my situation. But I was able to get it under control and she smartly waited until that point to express sympathy or else there would have been for real waterworks and comical inability to understand me. lol.

I spoke with the vet again and she stated that she talked to a surgeon that she trusts very much with the surgery. He works just down the street from the emergency clinic and said he might be able to swing the surgery for almost half the original cost (though I'm not sure how and will find out tomorrow - I am not willing to compromise Grim's pain for cheaper expenses). I am also transferring all of the cats' stuff to that clinic, because I don't trust Banfield and never want to go there again. I scheduled a consult + surgery for tomorrow morning before my appointments, and Steve is working his hardest to get at least a half day so I don't have to do it alone. I could have left Grim at the vet for the next couple of nights for less transportation trauma, but I think he is less traumatized overall by being home. I had to go in the back to get him into his kennel because he wouldn't let any of the techs touch him, and he had the "bad animal" towl over his cage :( I always feel bad because he's so sweet generally. He was VERY hissy and had stuck himself into the corner - for a minute I actually thought he might bite or scratch me, he was so upset. But he didn't and I got him into his carrier with little issue.

He's currently taking antibiotics to prevent infection, buprenorphine for pain (we're good friends with it by this time), and instead of the muscle relaxant he's had in the past, they prescribed him a small dose of an actual tranquilizer usually used to prep for anesthesia, to prevent him from straining and reblocking over the next two nights. I moved all of the cats' items (water, food, litter boxes) to our room. Well, the litter boxes are technically in the hallway but I can see them at all times. I also took away all dry food and give Grim treats after taking his medicine. He has made a permanent residence between the catboxes and the food, and hasn't drank ANY water that I've seen, but at least he is happily eating the wet food. The medicine is an appetite suppressant and can upset kitty tummies so I imagine he just isn't feeling it. He's been high ever since we got home - rubbing on EVERYTHING in his little zone, purring like a maniac if I pet him, wanting lots of pressure-intense pets. He also has spent a lot of time just staring blankly at everything, but not in the listless way as when he was doped up in the past. I would guess he's having some sort of hallucinatory effects, to be honest!

All this has pissed Nero off a great deal, as always. He's only used the litter box once and I haven't seen him eat or drink. Though he often drinks out of the bathtub because there's always water dripping from the faucet. He's mad because Grim smells funny and appears to be "guarding" everything. It's quite amusing to watch. Every so often Grim will get this crazy idea to taunt Nero, so he'll run super-enthusiastically over to him (but not even touch him!), and Nero will freak out and hiss and stumble backwards like a doof and get all offended. But mostly Grim just lays on the ground, perking up if you pet him.

I spent the night just moping in bed, not motivated to do anything but watch Steve play Persona 3 and Tumblr. My dad called me, all concerned because of the most recent Hyperbole and a Half, which I "shared" on Facebook. I explained to him that I HAVE been struggling a lot with depression over the past 2 months especially, but it's nothing new. I just really thought that was an accurate portrayal of what depression feels like. If I didn't have guilt, and the very real knowledge that if I were to allow myself to succumb like Allie and so many other people, life would only get that much harder. I'm a functioning depressive, but that doesn't mean I don't wish with all my heart that I could just lay in bed for weeks or months. I've done it before. But now I am accountable in different ways and it's not really an option right now. So I sulkily continue to sort-of function. But it was adorable that he called and wanted to talk about it. He admitted that he's coming to terms with these types of issues (finally! Around a decade ago he referred to Pam's medication as Quack Pills and scoffed at the idea of counseling), and encouraged me to seek help if I need it. I've been considered medication again, but I don't remember it really helping in the past, and I just don't have time for counseling. It was a pretty good talk, and I swear I like my dad more and more as we age. He's a pleasant man these days.

I've been having a super busy week, and we're going up north for Steve's niece and nephew's birthday (twins) this weekend. But! I DID take pictures of the apartment, and that is STEP ONE. And step two will be to post them, hopefully tomorrow. I swear I will get this done if it kills me.

Steve and I FINALLY broke in our new bikes! We biked about 5 miles, and while I was a wuss on this one steep hill and now my legs are killing me, overall I think I did well for not having used a bike in YEARS. I love biking! I'm sad that we learn to drive at 16 and drop a super awesome mode of transportation.

It's hard to get used to because my hometown is FLAT and you can get anywhere so fast, but Saint Paul and Oakdale are super goddamn hilly! One second you're zooming down a slope and the next you're crying because you have a mountain to scale. Well, I am, anyway. Steve laughs at me and does it no problem.

We also went out to dinner with my auntie Connie and her new boyfriend David. He seems nice and means well, and opened the car door for her. :DDD He makes Connie happy. Versus her ex-husband, who's a major creepwad but the father of her 17-year-old daughter so he's kinda around, and her long-time sort-of boyfriend Bob who's hilarious because of how serious and angry he is. He's just silly... but not the kind of guy Connie needs. So yay! He also won points for at least sort of recognizing my soot sprites tattoo, and telling me how he borrowed Connie Spirited Away and that she has yet to watch it. I smell a movie night coming on!!! I love her; she's great.

Okay! Time for bed for this girl. Anyone willing to give me a back rub?!

( This is for Athena, hoping she didn't see it somehow )

Second, ZOMG f(x)'s ACTUAL ALBUM JUST CAME OUT GUHHHHHH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER AND EVER FOR IT. Omg. Girl crush asplode. Korean lust out of control.

Work today was... hard. Lots of paperwork and dealing with the one specific client. So many things to remember and document and keep track of!! And I missed an appointment D: It worked out, but I felt like an ass. On the bright side, I got to talk to my old program manager, Jeremiah, because I want to refer a client to him. It was cute.

I got my tires replaced and now my car moves like a dream in comparison. Fleet Farm gives amazing lifetime service - 30-day free tire replacement and 50% cost after that, free rotation and alignment for the life of the tire, plus free flat repair for the life of the tire! My biggest fears squashed! They also want me to go back after 100 miles to double-check that the... lug nuts or... whatever... are still on there nice and tight. I replaced a blinker bulb yesterday and today I noticed one of my rear brake lights is out too D: HAAAAAATE cars.

( Grimmy is cute sometimes... )


You can see a teaser of some of the wall color. As of now I still want to post a separate entry on the whole painting thing, because I want it to be image-heavy. Maybe this weekend! I plan on visiting my sister and nephew on Saturday, and on Sunday going to my dad's house to spend time with their family, because Pam likes getting together on Easter.

Steve got Portal 2 yesterday and it looks sooo great. Of course I'm a storyline junkie, and this has an amazing, silly, and comedic storyline! But it looks far too difficult for me. I am spatially challenged and would probably kill myself.

I'm rather sad that it looks like I simply won't have the time to respond as much as I like, ever. But I promise I read every entry you guys post! I loooove your entries and it makes me sad that I can't keep up with them all the time. But I'll try my best. Just be okay with some comments that are maybe more concise and less involved, but know that the thought is there and it's not done as an afterthought <3

ALSO PEE ESS It has SNOWED HERE twice this week. Fuck you 30-degree weather. Fuck you week. I hate you. You snowed on me all morning and got my glasses wet. And I was cold. Oh yeah, and fuck you. D:

So, it turns out that the problem with my phone WAS the battery XD I got the new phone in the mail, and it wouldn't turn on! When exchanging phone units, you keep your sim, charger, and battery, btw. So we took it into the T-Mobile store, and the woman got it to START the turn-on process (at which point Steve and I were gaping, because we couldn't get it to do ANYTHING), and then she literally threw the battery and went in the back and found a spare (yayyy no waiting for a new one to be shipped!). It's really cool that I got a new phone anyway, without dents, and a clean slate. My pictures and apps transferred to the new unit (I had only a couple - an egg timer and stop watch XD). I added a really cool app that claims to show the CallerID of incoming calls, and purports to have a call-blocking feature. I'm testing it out with a telemarketer that calls me ALL the time. They stopped calling for a couple weeks after calling 2-4 times every day for several months, but it started again last week. I'm hoping it actually DOES block the calls, especially since I know for a fact that the dial-outs are a machine until they hear a voice, at which point you are transferred to a real person (I've tried to ask them to stop calling before).

If AT&T actually buys T-Mobile (the merger is still planned but not a hundo percent, last I heard), I'm totally getting an iPhone if they ever offer it. ^_^ Although, at this point, they're still saying they won't. Depending on how the merger goes, I might actually switch carriers. As discussed previously, I already pay a large chunk to T-Mobile. If prices were to change due to AT&T messing with the data plan prices and whatnot (T-Mobile's is cheaper than AT&T's), I'd probably wait until I was able to break the contract without penalty, via the contract opening up as a result of this merger, and maybe get Verizon? I never hear anything about Sprint, and Verizon's the main competition for AT&T. *shrug* Who knows?!

On Saturday I went out to dinner with my dad's family. It was nice, we just talked a lot and had a good time. Nothing major. On the way home I noticed I needed oil, so I went to get some from a nearby gas station. Then I noticed I didn't have my wallet. Crap. I last saw it at the restaurant we were at, because I had taken it out to show my ID for a margarita. When we got there, the hostess asked if I needed a kids menu. A kid's menu that says '8 and under' on it. Now, I know I may look young, but you gotta be kidding! XD I thought it was hilarious and she was super embarrassed.

Anyway. So, I was worried about running out of oil, because I don't know at what point my car tells me I need it. Is it DIRE? Or just a , "Hey, you should put a couple quarts in me in the near future, but it's all g for a little longer!" But driving to get my wallet was really the only option, unless I could pay the cashier in a few coins and plushies. I typed the location into my handy phone GPS and got there just fine, and they had it waiting for me (there was a terrible moment as I neared the location where I feared it fell out in my dad's car and wasn't at the restaurant at all)! Then there was the issue of putting cool oil in a hot car, but at 11pm in a strange area, I didn't feel like waiting 20 minutes. I need an oil change anyway. The old Leah would have gotten upset, panic-stricken, and likely angry as a reaction, but I was very proud of how calm and accepting I was. I attribute some of this to self-growth, but mostly to Steve teaching me how to accept the things I can't change, and even if they suck, it's better to have a good attitude than a shitty one. <3

On Sunday Bethany called to vent about how stressed she is because their downstairs neighbor is harassing her and Sarah about the kids running around the apartment. Bethany said she and Sarah weren't home for the initial incident, so they went and talked to her on their own time. They describe the lady as a meth head (scraggly, skinny, rotted teeth), and that she said around 8 or 9pm she needs to "wind down" and that the kids need to be quiet. Bethany said the kids go to bed at 9pm. The lady mentioned that it's fine in the morning and during the day though, so Sarah said, "...so, you're home all day?" Meant to get a grasp of the lady's schedule and to probably somewhat insinuate that she doesn't have a difficult schedule, and the lady took it as quite insulting. :P She also yelled at them about cigarette butts on her deck, but Bethany says they never throw their butts, and it's probably the people above them. I just told her to complain to the managers if she doesn't stop, because they need to be able to live. Cayden just turned 1 and Tristan just turned 2; they don't understand why they can't play "too loud", and Cayden's a chunker who just learned to walk so he naturally walks heavy. I just feel bad because that EXACT situation is what Bethany was worried about. Thank god Steve and I live on the ground floor, seriously. I can't stand that stuff.

Oh, and this is my last week with People Inc. I'm not mad at it, nor do I hate it, but since I have a tag about leaving a job, I'm using it XD I'm really excited to start my new job, and to have a week off inbetween to prepare, and also to switch my sleep schedule. It's going to be so weird! Steve and I packed most of our things on Saturday. All we have left is a few odds and ends, all the big stuff (furniture, shelves, computer etc.), the systems we're using, and clothes we need for the next 2 weeks. Otherwise, we're getting ready to go! I wish we could just drop by and throw the boxes in the place even if we can't unpack them yet. So antsy!

Wow, it feels like forever since I've really been on the internet. And with that said, I'm only partially able to be on. As I've mentioned in the past, the work computers are woefully not updated, so I can't see half the things you guys are posting (such as tumblrs, pics, etc.). D: I'll have to catch up more tomorrow - normally it'd be fine but I'm not working with Isaac tonight so I'm in a different office with internet that is apparently incompatible with my laptop.

Soooo.... we got ANOTHER death snowstorm snowpocalypse. About 12 inches yesterday. AND IT WAS IN THE 50's LAST WEEK. For like a day, BUT! It was WARM, and melty, and great. And now it's like we're back in December. UGHHHH.

I wasn't able to go work yesterday then. Like, LITERALLY was not able to leave my driveway. Actually, I left my driveway, buuuut only about a foot. Then I was stuck. And Steve and I spent a half hour unsticking me so I could get back into the driveway. It just wasn't happening. So poor Chuehue had to stay a whole extra shift. That's the risk we run working in a stupid 24-hour facility or a place that houses people who need supervision. The plows didn't even come by until my shift was completely over. Jerks.

Steve had the whole weekend off, so it was really really nice otherwise. Mostly just attending to and monitoring Grim and playing games. On Saturday we went to my parents' house and had my nephew Cayden's 1st birthday party. It was low-key and fun (with plenty of inappropriate talk by my hilarious 16-year-old cousin - the last discussion I was a part of was when she asked if any of us women had hair in their butt cracks because she does. I told her to shave it.), but apparently every person at the party now has the stomach flu, with the exception of Steve and myself. FINGERS CROSSED!

We watched a good chunk of Scrubs this weekend and finished Gangland. I've slowly been working through Final Fantasy VI, leveling my Druid (almost to 69!), I got all "S" ranks in Elite Beat Agents, and now I'm gonna finally beat SoulSilver before I get White (pre-ordered awhile ago). All I needed to do was fight Lugia and beat the elite four. I caught Lugia. Now, onward! Omg it was so funny when I turned the game on and I didn't know what to do, so Steve talked to professor Elm and he said, "You need to see the kimono girls at the dance theater." And I was like, "Buuuut I already weeeeent there and no one was hooooome!" And he was like, "You should try again." So we both hovered over the screen and when the theater was empty (AGAIN), it was lolsville.

Currently I'm tired and irritable and am worried I'm starting to give into hypochondria. Sleep the past two nights has been awful for us. We just can't fall asleep! It's broken and lame. We're hoping tonight's the night that our bodies finally give in and let us sleeeeeep.