spritechan | Entries tagged with bitches

Today was a day spent working, working so damn hard. In the morning we were all asked to come to a meeting to say goodbye to those of us leaving. Parkway is experiencing a mass exodus as a result of all the turmoil, and Jocelyn had us say goodbye one by one, with other people speaking “honoring” the ones leaving, and then the ones leaving giving a small speech. There are like, 13 of us going. Lots of people cried. When it was my turn, Tealie, Jan, Corri and Jenny all had really nice things to say about me. Tealie told the story of the time we had that crazy class our first year together, when the kids literally could not move with purpose and at any given time people were wandering the room. We really wanted the kids to be able to move and do a gallery walk, and somehow came up with the idea to put tape on the floor for them to follow, and it WORKED. soooo funny. Corri and Jenny both talked about getting to truly co-teach and what they learned from working with a teacher who cares so much about kids and has so much patience, and Jan called me her work daughter and pretty much made my entire life because Jan IS my mom. She’s the mom I never had, and I love her so much.

I ran really quick to Vincente’s IEP meeting, and Brian told Vincente’s mom that I’m the one person that Vincente would do anything for because we have a special relationship. After that I spent the day trying to get all my files in order. I sat up in the work room with Jan, Brian and Andy, all doing the same thing. Eventually I asked Steve to join me while I finished my work at Parkway. I still haven’t started on my stuff for Nokomis, but that will have to wait.

He came, and I was surprised to find that I was basically at the end of stuff I needed to do! I hadn’t eaten since 8am so I was very very hungry. I suggested we go to Cossetta’s, and we were both really looking forward to it because we could sit outside. There wasn’t a line, which was awesome. When I got up to the mastaccioli, I asked the lady if I could get extra sauce, like I have done every single time I have been to cossetta’s. I said it very nicely, as I always do, but apparently it was the most annoying request in the entire world to this lady. She made a huge show of stopping, GLARING at me, and dramatically dumping the noodles out of the container. She very bitchily informed me that I was supposed to tell the lady NEXT to her, who was handing the containers as orders came in, so that she would know to put extra sauce in the bottom. As if that’s the only place sauce can go, and I violated a sacred rule. Let me remind you I have done this every single time I have gone to Cossetta’s, without issue. I felt the rage boil inside me as a black cloud of anger formed between us, but I remembered how Steve said I’ve been picking fights lately with customer service people, so I swallowed my DEFINITELY JUSTIFIED anger, and used the same tone as the lady when I responded with just an, “okay,” and hoped the biting contempt in my own voice got the point across to her. If I was anyone else, or maybe if I was alone, I would have asked to see a manager because her attitude was completely unnecessary and rude as hell. She legit talked to me as if I was a stupid child who ruined her day. To my surprise, Steve was just as mad as I was, and made a couple loud funny comments as we waited at the next section.

The food was delicious, as always. When we got home we watched the Sony E3 conference with Scott, and since I went into it knowing nothing about what’s coming out, I was properly entertained. Some of the games coming out look exciting and fun.

I drink a fair amount of coffee. I consume enough caffeine that I can go a day or two without coffee, and there's enough in my system that I don't get withdrawals immediately. I'm NOT one of those people who says "I'm not human until I've had coffee" or whatever. I simply like the taste, it's part of my routine, and I'm generally more pleasant when I drink it. It does NOT make me feel more awake. But it gives me something to do with my hands. My point is, we always have coffee on hand. Except not today. When we went grocery shopping last weekend, we made the mistake of thinking we had enough coffee to get through the week, and forgot to pick some up at any point DURING said week. So today, we were out. Sadness. Instead, we had some black tea on the couch this morning, and while far more watery and far less coffee-y, it was still quite tasty and cute.

Friday means basketball during foundations, and Todd told me he plans to try to get the kids in the gym for Tuesday and Thursday and play dumb about the "cleaning." I told him to go for it but you all know how my gym battle went all year.

First block started out today much like yesterday, with me taking someone to Reset, only today it was Chaz. Chaz decided to stand on a chair and sing the "Charge!" song like they play at sports games, only instead of the "dun-dun-duns" and "charge," every sound was replaced with the word "Shit." Awesome. So I took him into the other room while I wrote out the write-up, and there's a box for "Perceived Motivation" - options include obtaining peer attention, obtaining adult attention, avoiding peers/adults/activities, etc. I asked him why he did that, and he said, "Because I wanted you to take me to get my iPad." Okay, so I asked if he wanted my attention. He said yes. Lol. Easy peasy. I told him he could have just... ya know... gotten my attention normally. We walked up to reset and after we processed, we got his iPad from Corri (though it wasn't as easy as I'm saying and actually took about 15 minutes after the "Listen to Corri vent" tax) and went back to class.

Kids started their presentations today on their Real Life project. Malik went first, but requested Tealie present for him. He had a super goofy filtered pic of him on his first slide, and he was trying SO HARD to keep a straight face when people giggled at it, saying "What's funny?!" but totally giving himself away. I saw Tealie trying to grade on slips of paper so I texted her from across the room telling her I was grading them right in Schoology. It was funny.

2nd block Vincente requested to work in my room instead of going to his electives, and I try to grant this request occasionally because I know it makes the teachers' lives easier and he usually works for me. He did work for the entire first skinny (40 minutes), and in the second skinny he had stopped working but he stayed quiet. Tre'Kari's dad showed up unexpectedly and we had a super awkward confrontation that resulted in Tre having to go in the hall with him and get yelled at.

Stopped home, saw Steve, had a super difficult time leaving. I cut up our last two mangoes and we ate them while talking about our plans for the evening/weekend, and when we planned on leaving. I reminded Steve to eat the food in the fridge and then headed to Nokomis. I only saw Leon and Jeremy today, as Maddy went out of town and Khilanni was in lesson. Today Olivia and Lynnea read their current story ("Bugs!") and we did the first comprehension page. They did SUPER well today and I didn't even have to argue with them about WHEN we color. The outcome is ALWAYS the same, not sure at this point why they try, though it's gotten to the point where they talk about coloring as they get their folders or word cards, so maybe it's just habit still.

I debated whether to dip out early or wait for Janet, the social worker, who wanted to stop by and see me. Janet works for both Nokomis North AND Nokomis South, and it sounds like she's often got her hands full at North, so we rarely see each other. She did eventually make it in and we talked about a couple things we need to take care of, and THEN I left. On the way home though I did stop at a gym and take it. Naturally.

When I got home I decided to water the garden and my hanging plant quick, and while I was outside Steve came out to meet me. I THOUGHT he was just so excited to see me, but instead he was VERY nervous and did the like, "Remember how much you love me when I tell you what I'm about to tell you..." and I immediately tried to brace myself for him telling me that one of my shirts was ruined, which is a lot bigger deal to me than you'd think. I'm so autistic when it comes to my clothes, I get more devastated than the average person about those things. I was sooo stressed and then Steve pulls out this tangled mess and confesses that he washed one of my latest projects. The glove itself was fine, as it turns out, just the remaining yarn was basically ruined because it half-felted into itself and it's not worth it to try to mess with. Guess what though? That was a mini kit and each glove had its own skein of yarn anyway. No problem! God, it was funny. Steve is so cute.

So Steve had done the laundry (yay!), which meant it was super easy packing up, just making sure I remembered my yarn, needles, and patterns along with the projects I want to be working on this weekend. I brought Mom's gloves I'm working on for Mother's Day, as well as Steve's sock, and of course the materials for the project for tomorrow. I'm sooo into knitting these days. On the 4-hour drive I got the majority of the first glove (take 2) done. It's looking MUCH better this time around. For some reason I just am not that great at chunks of colorwork, especially in the round. My tension gets so wonky and is a terrible show of my actual knitting skill, so my solution is to do the colorwork on the cuffs, but the cat heads I'm duplicate-stitching on.

We had planned to stop at the vegan place we ate at when we were in Wisconsin Dells, but it turns out it wasn't where we thought it was, and by the time we would get to it, it would be too close to closing. I recognized where we were though, and that cute cafe we went to after getting massages was open, and had delicious food. We got the same appetizer as last time (goat cheese, roasted garlic and peppers), and I tried their veggie burger. This cafe is so out of place in such a small town... the food is really good and there's a decent variety of vegetarian items, in this weird-ass diner-style cafe. In the bathroom there was a sign saying that the building and its accompanying plumbing is over 150 years old. The only other thing of note there was that Steve went into a bathroom (single stall) that turned out to be labeled as a women's bathroom, but he couldn't have known that because the door was wide open and the men's bathroom was hidden, so it just seemed like... a one-person bathroom. Which it was. A grumpy looking old lady waited outside for him and then made it her business to notify him that he used the wrong bathroom. Steve, caught unawares, was classic Steve and was like, "Oh, I had no idea! Whoops!" The old lady was not having it though and CLEARLY thought he had violated some prissy code in her head, and I had like a thousand sassy comments plus a fist for her stupid face if she said one more thing to him. Like, has she never had men in her HOUSE, where ALL bathrooms are gender neutral?? Twat.

We left there a little after 8 and had about 45 minutes to go. We listened to Game of Thrones the whole way, as we do. We've got less than 5 hours left of Book 5! OMG!!! We're actually almost caught up with everyone else, which is both exciting (because of course everything is so interesting and it'll be nice to have all the info) and stressful (I WANT MOOOOORE!!!). Now we're relaxing at Ben and Sean's, so tired. The plan is to get up and go garage sale-ing, Madison-style, before my class tomorrow. But for now, couchpod and sleeeeep.

I started taking SAMe a little over a week ago... my doctor brought it up awhile ago but I know there are conflicting reports on efficacy of improving depression. Haley started taking it at the beginning of the month, along with a bunch of other supplements, and she reported really "feeling" it in her system and freaking out and not liking that it made her feel different. I thought it would be interesting to take for comparison.

So far what I've noticed is that I appear to be MORE depressed since beginning to take it. Interestingly, SAMe can increase symptoms of mania in people who have bipolar disorder. I mean, I can't conclusively say that the SAMe is what's making me feel worse. I just don't feel any *better* at this point. Although I do kind of pendulum more than I used to. For example, this morning at Parkway I was actually in a really good mood. Kids were just being funny and adorable and cute and I remembered why I fucking LOVE middle school kids.

Then I got into an argument with the ELL lady at Nokomis and normally I don't get so mad but she was really pissing me off. I hate that it's hard for me to explain or articulate WHY I don't think this particular student needs special ed services - at least in the moment, I know I sent a really good explanation via email a few months ago - HOWEVER, he only receives LANGUAGE services and he's NOT on my caseload so I got pretty heated that this lady was coming at me asking for "numbers and data" when he's not even my kid!!! Also why the hell did she ask me for his IQ when she should KNOW that we don't take a formal IQ on non-native English speakers?? I just don't like her. She annoys me. I also deleted a bunch of really boring rant about testing and her being more of a bitch! So boring.

We met as Montessori staff on Friday to discuss "where we are at and where we want to go" with Montessori at Parkway. It became clear that we are not being taken seriously as a Montessori and we can't compete with OWL because they have a high school. It's this vision that's too big and we're not supported. We opened with a quick-write about what our dreams were when we started at Parkway. I couldn't wait for Kareem to speak, and he didn't disappoint - he told this analogy of the donkey who carried a load of salt across a river, and it melted away, so the next time his owner put wool on his back and he almost drowned. He said that it's "easier" this year because he's tired of fighting and would rather have the salt on his back. That for the last 4 years we've had wool on our backs and he would rather go home and be able to focus on his home life "and not going to Kinko's at 2am." Everyone else echoed that sentiment, but of course there are others who say we will always be fighting and they want to fight.

I'm tired. I don't want to fight anymore. Not when it's not just a hard fight, it's an impossible mountain. It's just a fact. I'm not being defeatist about it: someone or some people lied - whether it was just to us or to our old principal or both, we were lied to about the district's intentions and everyone is being let down. Tealie will definitely at least have offers before the end of the year. I'm waiting to see what Melissa says once she gets her budget... can she offer me full-time, or even .8 or .9?? But I'm looking elsewhere anyway, because even though elementary is in some ways a lot easier/calmer, I am, in my soul, a middle school/junior high teacher. 11-15 are just the best ages.

I ~~hope~~ think my depression is related to my unhappiness at my job. Historically speaking, this is the longest I've ever stayed in a position by far (4 years). The longest otherwise I've ever worked for a specific place was 2 years with People Inc. for mental health, but even with that I moved laterally within the company and worked for a different location after a year (though I probably would have stayed for awhile in the position I was in if my hours hadn't been eliminated and I was forced to apply to a different position that ended up being WAY better). Once I get that itch, it's impossible to ignore.

And I started writing this before I left for the day, and now I'm home and I think I got my final sign:

We as a staff are literally getting point sheets, basically. Click for a better view. But it is micromanaging to the extreme. This kind of thing makes me immediately say I'M OUT.

I've been taking a LOT of depression naps lately (no energy) and doing a lot of moping. I'm probably also depressed because of my knee problems and as a result I haven't been active in a month. I have an appointment with the orthopedist on Thursday.

Current Location: Minnesota, North St Paul

Holy moley I'm tired today! Traffic was very bad this morning due to a fatal car accident - I saw the SUV involved, and the person was probably crushed. During this time there were several minutes of dead-stoppage. The highway is already down to one lane beginning in that area because of construction, and morning traffic is always bad around that time. When we were stopped I made a tweet, and my great aunt deigned to remind me that texting and driving is illegal. It drives me insane when people take every opportunity to remind you when you're doing wrong, as if it will change the behavior. I'm here to tell you, it will not. End of story.

Anyway. I started my second grad school class, and we met yesterday. During this meeting I came to the should-have-been obvious realization regarding why I do what I do. I want to work with EBD and Autism, and thrive in chaotic environments... I process information very quickly and become bored almost too easily, it's like I *need* the environment to be unpredictable from day to day and even up to minute to minute to keep my brain excited and stimulated. Coming to this realization was really amusing, but also freeing. I love developing new awareness and understanding of myself.

This LJ app sucks, by the way. Not capitalizing the beginning of sentences, really??

I'm seeing a chiropractor twice a week for 6 weeks for adjustments, acupuncture and some muscle therapy. It's mostly for my bladder issues but I have longstanding back pain from having lordosis (swayback) and horrid neck pain. Since insurance will pay, I'm treating the whole package. :)

A nap is most definitely in order today after work. I'm so so tired!

Steve and I went to a local farm with an apple orchard and picked delicious apples and bought homemade pancake/waffle/muffin mix with pumpkin flavoring. It smells so good! Faith and I made the muffins and they were amazing.

Current Location: Minnesota, North St Paul

This LJ app sucks, by the way. Not capitalizing the beginning of sentences, really??

A nap is most definitely in order today after work. I'm so so tired!

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Nikki talking on LoL

So, I've been feeling more social than normal this past week. I hung out until 5am at NIck's on Friday/Saturday, mostly playing FFVI and me, Pat, and Nick gossiped a lot (Pat said to me at least 4 times this weekend that he loves how On I am about gossip in our circles. And my definition of gossip isn't a negative one, because it's not always BAD things. It's just sharing knowledge about people we know and discussing it! That DOES NOT make it negative.). Then I decided I wanted to throw a little party at our apartment, because hey! It's a large space and can fit a lot of people and it would be really fun! So I invited Nick and Pat and Faith, and we ran into Nikki on Saturday and invited him, and Nick brought Joe Waid. I invited Courtney too, and she came later :) It was really awesome to get basically the entire group together. Part of the reason I wanted a little party was to get as many people I like from this group together, and because I want to see more of Courtney, and because I wanted to drink a bit and Faith did too. And Nick and Pat. We all don't really drink all that often (except Nikki, he's a typical college kid living in a college town and college boy house where drinking is a daily occurrence).

Anyway, most of the time was spent talking and joking and trolling each other. We also watched a Jackie Chan movie, which was great entertainment, played some SSBB, and talked some more. It was really fun and I'm glad Courtney was able to come.

Then Pat and Faith left at like 4:15am. Soon after, we heard what sounded like knocks on the window, so we thought they came back because they forgot something. Joe Waid went to investigate, and saw this fat black woman smashing out the windows on Nick's car with a baseball bat! He was too shocked to say or do anything, and she took off in this getaway car (and he didn't get the license plate).

See the horrible pictures here.

It was very obvious that this was a target attack, because she didn't hit anyone else's car and Nick's was in the middle of the lot. We later did find what we assume was the ACTUAL vehicle she meant to hit. It was the same make and color as Nick's. The cop who came out told us that this is actually really common in our awesome ghetto neighborhood - angry exes slash tires or smash windows for revenge. He asked me how I liked it here, and I said I was fine, and never heard of anything happening here yet. He kept asking Nick if he was SURE he didn't piss anyone off. We reiterated several times that NONE of the people present except for myself was even from the area, and we know no black women. lol.

I'm not worried about my car; it's very unlikely that someone would mistake it - there are stuffed animals all over the back window area, and my windshield has a very noticeable crack running the entire length of it already. Steve's car can't get mistaken because it's an old-man car that no one else in the world drives XD I feel so so guilty and bad about Nick's car. What are the odds, seriously?! And Courtney and I had been making all these ghetto-themed jokes about what the noise was, while Nick's car was getting destroyed.

Steve gets all bonerific whenever I hang out with people, because he thinks it's so cute. He thought this weekend was especially cute because not only did I hang out with people of my own accord one night and play epic amounts of FFVI, I stayed with Nick after Pat left and waited until Steve got off work and the three of us had some cute time, but I made separate plans for the next night and had a REAL social gathering! ^_^

In preparation for this impromptu housewarming, Steve and I finished unpacking everything left. We also rearranged the living room the better suit our needs, vacuumed the carpet with deodorizer (it had been STINKY), and set everything up super cute. In fact, next entry I will post picutres of the place FINALLY. It is now very clear that we MUST paint that living room. It is ugly and bare and unwelcoming with those stark white walls D:

Zomg BlazBlue Continuum Shift 2 is coming out for the 3DS at the end of the month!!!! Crap. Now I HAVE to get a 3DS sometime. -_- Oh, I reserved a hotel for us for our trip to Distant Worlds. For the 6 of us, we get to stay in one room for $120! That's on'y $20 each! If we'd tried to stay the night in Chicago, it would have been ridiculously more expensive, and we'd have had to get two rooms. This way, it's perfect!

Okay, now to play FFVI! Steve's playing Halo: Reach and Nikki's on Skype with a friend while they play League of Legends. So social! Steve asked me if he had the #1 spot in my tags, I told him that I doubted it - so we looked up all my tags. Above him are "me", "relationships", "school", "life", "friends",... and "dan". He got all mock-offended about it and started teasing me about never writing about him and that Dan was more important or something. I was all, "I've been dating you two years and Dan was in my life for 5! What do you expect?!" and he was like, "You'd even have WAY more Dan tags if you hadn't lost those years from GreatestJournal!" And then it turned into this silly banter about how I now need to find a way to get a Steve tag into every entry, even if it's just a sentence XD I'm not gonna do that, but I will make more of an effort to write about our cutie relationship. I explained to him that I have so many Dan tags because I complained about him and our relationship A LOT. I whined soooo much about us, and the wishy-washiness I felt about him, especially over that last year. I have nothing to complain about with Steve, so I get half the reasons to write about him :P

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Nikki talking on LoL