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I am experiencing some relief at the Chauvin verdict (I am legitimately surprised they convicted of all charges), but mostly just raw emotions of this last year.
I don't believe in the prison industrial complex — I think keeping humans in cages is fucking barbaric — but I also understand the limits of our current society. Police need to realize there are consequences for hurting and killing people — and prosecutors also need to actually HAND OUT those consequences by charging people when this shit happens.
And we obviously need to reimagine community policing altogether* so it's not even a discussion. I am not hopeful that these changes will happen during my lifetime, but I am optimistic for us continuing to lay the groundwork. To move from a society focused on social control, to a society focused on social investment.
If you see the original police report, it was written as if Floyd had a drug-induced heart attack and died at the hospital after benevolent cops called for help. It only got this far because that brave teenager filmed the whole thing and the community did not stay quiet.
Now all these national guard and extra police need to get the fuck out.
*I know that abolition is not a new concept — I'm using "reimagine" here to refer to the general public and our current government and systems.
Daunte Wright
Apr. 12th, 2021 02:34 pmYet another name. In Minnesota. During Derek Chauvin's trial. A young man lost so unnecessarily.
How the fuck can you confuse your taser with your gun. A traffic stop should never result in a death. The police response last night was abhorrent, violent, aggressive, dangerous, and the police chief promised the same response tonight. We'll be there tonight.
More stuff and thoughts and updates
Jun. 4th, 2020 11:53 am
After our first protest night at the 3rd precinct (the infamous destroyed Target stands behind us), we ended up on the header of this opinion piece (it's not worth reading - the summary: "I am a retired cop. Derek Chauvin and the officers with him were way out of line, but NOT ALL COPS!!! Plus, most protesters are peaceful. Not all protesters are looters!!"). We're the ones with the signs behind the person in the foreground. He came and sat in front of us. Even though there was a car burning behind us, where we all were standing was very quiet.
From left: brother Adam, his partner Jack, sister-in-law Brittany, sister Bethany, Me.
They set out charges for the other officers and upgraded Chauvin's charges. This man's sitting in some probably safe section of the Oak Park Heights jail and thinking about those medals he got for killing people in the past, and probably confused about why the hell this is all happening to him. GOOD. All cops around the country and world better be rethinking their untouchable status.
Several key partners have terminated their contracts with MPD. The U was the first one I know of. Joan Gabel took a stand immediately. Soon after, Minneapolis Public schools followed. Then the MIA (art institute), and venues (First Ave), etc. The park police, while they failed to rename themselves as park rangers, voted to sever their ties with MPD AND change their uniform colors to green. There continues to be demand for accountability. We need to keep this pressure up.
For all the complaints I have about working at the U, I am glad I work for such a strong president right now, and that I have a supportive team and department. Our director Phoebe and our CIO Bernie both issues statements as well.
I've been having a LOT of good conversations with Courtney. One thing I love about her, is her willingness to identify something within herself, and how she has changed. She's struggled a lot because she and her family have lived very sheltered, white suburban lives. She has identified thought patterns that she used in the past to give herself permission to justify and turn away from events like this. She says her parents are still there, and so she has been working hard to try to bring information to their level and open their eyes. We have been patient with each other and talked through any roadblocks between us.
I've also challenged Tyler a few times, because he is unintentionally quite harmful in some of the shit he shares. I told him I keep coming after him because I KNOW he wants to be a good person, but that means he needs to THINK about the shit that he posts and what message he's trying to send. We're cool. His ~wife~ made a very good post and hopefully she's talking to him about this stuff too.
And, ya know, things like this make me laugh:
Life:
Courtney was on a video call with us last night, and she was researching fonts and starting her next art piece, and I started a new shawl but got just a few stitches in before I was sucked back into the protest stuff. It's so hard for me to pull away. We got to watch a good amount of Kripp, and Lack. Courtney mentioned an artist whose work she loves, but who has been completely silent since this all went down. We had a good conversation about the people who have the privilege to just... literally... not engage at all? Even when the whole world is talking about it? What the fuck?
I made an additional donation to Northside communities and have been boosting important posts. Courtney said she'd love to do a "book club" of sorts of two texts we both purchased about defunding police.
They officially started construction on the roads in our neighborhood and our cul de sac is a storage spot so it's always packed with machinery and rocks and stuff.
I need to clean. Connie still wants to go to the farmer's market tomorrow. Might force me to focus on something for a minute.
One thing that is both confusing and fascinating is what parts of this people in my own area (read: the Twin Cities) focus on, based on many different factors. A lot appears to be geography (in hotspots, suburbs, or distant), others, on principles or specific actions, personal context/experiences, and upbringing.
Most of my white friends are obsessed with the destruction. Many live in the suburbs or beyond. I'm not going to break it down because it's one of the most favorite debate topics right now and I'm tired. It's frustrating that white people particularly seem to think that debating and analyzing the reasoning behind destruction is the important part, or the part to endlessly be confused and questioning about.
Personally, all I care about is human rights. And what matters most is black people to stop being targets to our police. I support the right to protest, and for the media to witness it.
On another note, Bob Kroll (the police union president) is one of the biggest pieces of shit of all time. I mean, I've KNOWN this, it's not new. And if he keeps getting re-elected, guess who keeps re-electing him. Hmmmmm.
I've been learning a lot about defunding the police. I had never heard of this as a concept or possibility before last week. I was completely ignorant on the topic. Already having hated police and everything they stand for, it was easy to start delving into. However, if I had been approached about this a year ago (or 3 months ago or two weeks ago, whatever), I would have thought there was no chance.
Been having really good conversations with people I am close to. I did end up blocking Ann after I asked her nicely TWICE to step out of my space if she was going to just keep yelling (which she did after my initial posts). Mom said Ann wouldn't say anything to Paul about it and she's used to getting kicked out of people's houses (lmaooo).
The sacred circle at George Floyd's death site is amazing. I haven't gone directly there because it didn't feel like my place. As someone in the neighborhood said, "It's not coachella and you are not coming for a show. You do not understand the spirituality of black folks". Which is true. But even from here I can tell that's a powerful area. And those white people who feel comfortable going to PROTECT the black people in that space, I'm happy for.
Also, just got this email:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday I got a notification for my Friendiversary with Joe, so that was cool.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have done almost nothing else other and breathe this situation. I have been almost zero productive at work - I think the only tangible things I've done over the last two weeks are:
1. Practicing New Student Orientation (NSO) with Suzanne and Jay
2. Putting together a third form for my Jadu training (but NOTHING else in that space)
3. Attending my Performance Review with Liz
I have played 1, maybe two games of Hearthstone, and knit maybe two rows on Sean's sweater. I have gone on two short walks with Steve, one to decompress after Saturday night, and the other on Sunday. But all we talk about is this. It's all I think about.
Most of my white friends are obsessed with the destruction. Many live in the suburbs or beyond. I'm not going to break it down because it's one of the most favorite debate topics right now and I'm tired. It's frustrating that white people particularly seem to think that debating and analyzing the reasoning behind destruction is the important part, or the part to endlessly be confused and questioning about.
Personally, all I care about is human rights. And what matters most is black people to stop being targets to our police. I support the right to protest, and for the media to witness it.
On another note, Bob Kroll (the police union president) is one of the biggest pieces of shit of all time. I mean, I've KNOWN this, it's not new. And if he keeps getting re-elected, guess who keeps re-electing him. Hmmmmm.
I've been learning a lot about defunding the police. I had never heard of this as a concept or possibility before last week. I was completely ignorant on the topic. Already having hated police and everything they stand for, it was easy to start delving into. However, if I had been approached about this a year ago (or 3 months ago or two weeks ago, whatever), I would have thought there was no chance.
Been having really good conversations with people I am close to. I did end up blocking Ann after I asked her nicely TWICE to step out of my space if she was going to just keep yelling (which she did after my initial posts). Mom said Ann wouldn't say anything to Paul about it and she's used to getting kicked out of people's houses (lmaooo).
The sacred circle at George Floyd's death site is amazing. I haven't gone directly there because it didn't feel like my place. As someone in the neighborhood said, "It's not coachella and you are not coming for a show. You do not understand the spirituality of black folks". Which is true. But even from here I can tell that's a powerful area. And those white people who feel comfortable going to PROTECT the black people in that space, I'm happy for.
Also, just got this email:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday I got a notification for my Friendiversary with Joe, so that was cool.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have done almost nothing else other and breathe this situation. I have been almost zero productive at work - I think the only tangible things I've done over the last two weeks are:
1. Practicing New Student Orientation (NSO) with Suzanne and Jay
2. Putting together a third form for my Jadu training (but NOTHING else in that space)
3. Attending my Performance Review with Liz
I have played 1, maybe two games of Hearthstone, and knit maybe two rows on Sean's sweater. I have gone on two short walks with Steve, one to decompress after Saturday night, and the other on Sunday. But all we talk about is this. It's all I think about.
Minneapolis uprising weekend
Jun. 3rd, 2020 11:17 amNote: All pictures are shit quality so small - click to see HD.
Saturday was the day the police and troopers decided that they truly were above all laws. I'm particularly referring to attacks on the media. My protests on Saturday centered on the 5th precinct, where we did a sit-in. At 8:40, they bombed us out with their full arsenal: the staples of flashbangs, tear gas, and rubber bullets with the added fun of mace and high-velocity paintballs.
(this image was pulled from the net)
( Sit-in and attack )
Sunday, we marched from US Bank stadium, to the Government Center, to Hennepin Ave/1st Ave bridges, to University, and onto 35W. It was amazing how many people came out (estimates are 5-6000), all peaceful, all together. We stopped and took a knee at each big location.
After kneeling we all sat for a bit.
( March around the city )
( Protesting onto Hennepin Ave bridge )
This image was taken by a resident as we walked by. So cool.
( 35W )
Kneeling/sitting for George Floyd.
I was on southbound 35W, not northbound where the semi truck plowed into the crowd. How that asshole didn't see that he was the only vehicle on the road for miles (the highways were closed in the city), and that all other remaining vehicles were turned around is beyond me. They also neglected to show on the media that when the cops came, they attacked the entire peaceful crowd (again, with tear gas, flashbangs, and new fun, dropping things from helicopters) and maced the guys who had surrounded the idiot to keep him from being mobbed by scared people who almost got run over by a white guy in the middle of an AMAZING day and protest.
Saturday was the day the police and troopers decided that they truly were above all laws. I'm particularly referring to attacks on the media. My protests on Saturday centered on the 5th precinct, where we did a sit-in. At 8:40, they bombed us out with their full arsenal: the staples of flashbangs, tear gas, and rubber bullets with the added fun of mace and high-velocity paintballs.
(this image was pulled from the net)
( Sit-in and attack )
Sunday, we marched from US Bank stadium, to the Government Center, to Hennepin Ave/1st Ave bridges, to University, and onto 35W. It was amazing how many people came out (estimates are 5-6000), all peaceful, all together. We stopped and took a knee at each big location.
After kneeling we all sat for a bit.
( March around the city )
( Protesting onto Hennepin Ave bridge )
This image was taken by a resident as we walked by. So cool.
( 35W )
Kneeling/sitting for George Floyd.
I was on southbound 35W, not northbound where the semi truck plowed into the crowd. How that asshole didn't see that he was the only vehicle on the road for miles (the highways were closed in the city), and that all other remaining vehicles were turned around is beyond me. They also neglected to show on the media that when the cops came, they attacked the entire peaceful crowd (again, with tear gas, flashbangs, and new fun, dropping things from helicopters) and maced the guys who had surrounded the idiot to keep him from being mobbed by scared people who almost got run over by a white guy in the middle of an AMAZING day and protest.
Lake and Minnehaha
May. 29th, 2020 10:26 amWhen I became cognizant that I'd been yelling on the internet all morning (challenging ignorance and misguided thinking and blocking racists), I knew it was time for action.
I caught several videos of the police throwing tear gas, flash bangs, and shooting rubber bullets at everyone. I was there until they mobilized the national guard to move all the cops out of the precinct. They gave up on it and let the few people who were feeling especially angry destroy it.
There was zero police presence until people started throwing water bottles at several already-broken windows. They were on the roof and in the precinct though, and when the front fence came down (again, 1 or 2 people did this), they suddenly appeared and launched tear gas into the crowd. That was the only time we were caught by surprise (as in, the remaining times we could move out of the way more quickly), but everyone there was prepared to deal with it. Lots of baking soda/water, marshalls ready to help people out and give first aid. I got it worst in my eyes, Bethany inhaled a lot of it. We were wearing masks and both have glasses, so it helped some. We were in short sleeves, but I'd brought a long-sleeved shirt just in case. The tear gas started a lot earlier than I expected it to, so my arms and hands were burning all night, but it was manageable.
Tear gas is actually a fine powder, not a gas, and it settles in any secretions and targets a specific pain receptor. It tastes sour and acrid.
As per the norm at protests, 95% of people were peaceful. Honestly a lot of the protest was quiet standing there, punctuated by chants and cheers and righteous yelling. People were offering each other water and first aid and checking in. A lot.
There was destruction. I am most suspicious of a large fire that occurred on the block, but outside of the protest zone. It was a bad fire.
There were two or three people who, as darkness fell and the officers settled on the lawn behind the fence, started hurling rocks and other small objects. That was a great excuse to start launching rubber bullets into the crowd and pushed everyone behind the Target fence and trees for a bit while they refortified. I was most scared of the bullets whizzing by. I actually have a video earlier on where we're all standing a safe distance, but one of the rock throwers was to my left, and you can HEAR the high-speed bullet on my camera fly by me.
My ears hurt from all the flash-bangs, but starting from around 9:30p, Bethany and I kept on the side of our escape route if we needed to run. I'd parked 2.5 miles away, near where George Floyd was murdered. The wind was working with us for the tear gas, and there were plenty of traffic cones to cover them with. I only saw two people get maced through the fence, and they were both white teenage girls? young adults? At any rate, they did not seem at all subdued in their rage.
We left when they mobilized the national guard (who were waiting in the parking lot), because we thought they were coming in for crowd control, but it turns out they might have just been evacuating the cops and abandoning the building. I still had an hour drive to bring Bethany home, and another hour back to my house. Then I stayed up until 3:30 because how could I not?
This morning my boss asked us to give a wellbeing check-in. Trent called in today for his mental health - still not sure what his beliefs are. He took a half day to clean up Lake St. and the presentation of him saying that makes me feel like he's more worried about the businesses than the lives lost. I hope I'm misinterpreting. Several other people stayed up late as well, tracking the progress. There is a lot of rumors of Proud boys and other assholes coming up to incite chaos, and that's another reason we left when we did. We didn't want to be witness to that.
I imagine today will be more locked down than other days (see the CNN reporter arrested on basically the exact spot I was standing for much of yesterday), but efforts will probably galvanize for the weekend? Not sure what's going to happen next.
https://instagram.com/p/CAwzCI0pntYHere are some pictures from last night.
I caught several videos of the police throwing tear gas, flash bangs, and shooting rubber bullets at everyone. I was there until they mobilized the national guard to move all the cops out of the precinct. They gave up on it and let the few people who were feeling especially angry destroy it.
There was zero police presence until people started throwing water bottles at several already-broken windows. They were on the roof and in the precinct though, and when the front fence came down (again, 1 or 2 people did this), they suddenly appeared and launched tear gas into the crowd. That was the only time we were caught by surprise (as in, the remaining times we could move out of the way more quickly), but everyone there was prepared to deal with it. Lots of baking soda/water, marshalls ready to help people out and give first aid. I got it worst in my eyes, Bethany inhaled a lot of it. We were wearing masks and both have glasses, so it helped some. We were in short sleeves, but I'd brought a long-sleeved shirt just in case. The tear gas started a lot earlier than I expected it to, so my arms and hands were burning all night, but it was manageable.
Tear gas is actually a fine powder, not a gas, and it settles in any secretions and targets a specific pain receptor. It tastes sour and acrid.
As per the norm at protests, 95% of people were peaceful. Honestly a lot of the protest was quiet standing there, punctuated by chants and cheers and righteous yelling. People were offering each other water and first aid and checking in. A lot.
There was destruction. I am most suspicious of a large fire that occurred on the block, but outside of the protest zone. It was a bad fire.
There were two or three people who, as darkness fell and the officers settled on the lawn behind the fence, started hurling rocks and other small objects. That was a great excuse to start launching rubber bullets into the crowd and pushed everyone behind the Target fence and trees for a bit while they refortified. I was most scared of the bullets whizzing by. I actually have a video earlier on where we're all standing a safe distance, but one of the rock throwers was to my left, and you can HEAR the high-speed bullet on my camera fly by me.
My ears hurt from all the flash-bangs, but starting from around 9:30p, Bethany and I kept on the side of our escape route if we needed to run. I'd parked 2.5 miles away, near where George Floyd was murdered. The wind was working with us for the tear gas, and there were plenty of traffic cones to cover them with. I only saw two people get maced through the fence, and they were both white teenage girls? young adults? At any rate, they did not seem at all subdued in their rage.
We left when they mobilized the national guard (who were waiting in the parking lot), because we thought they were coming in for crowd control, but it turns out they might have just been evacuating the cops and abandoning the building. I still had an hour drive to bring Bethany home, and another hour back to my house. Then I stayed up until 3:30 because how could I not?
This morning my boss asked us to give a wellbeing check-in. Trent called in today for his mental health - still not sure what his beliefs are. He took a half day to clean up Lake St. and the presentation of him saying that makes me feel like he's more worried about the businesses than the lives lost. I hope I'm misinterpreting. Several other people stayed up late as well, tracking the progress. There is a lot of rumors of Proud boys and other assholes coming up to incite chaos, and that's another reason we left when we did. We didn't want to be witness to that.
I imagine today will be more locked down than other days (see the CNN reporter arrested on basically the exact spot I was standing for much of yesterday), but efforts will probably galvanize for the weekend? Not sure what's going to happen next.
Pics of yesterday
May. 28th, 2020 10:54 amI am still so very angry. To help soothe my rage, I took pictures of things throughout the day yesterday that gave me joy or made me smile.
To start, wanted to show you guys one of Nero's favorite spots to lay:
You can find him so often at the top of the stairs. XD
( More cat goodness and lunch stuff )
Got some yarn goodies! Happy to support these guys. <3 <3 They threw in the big tote as a gift!! I love it XD
( Lovelyyyyy )
Steve and I went for a leisurely, short walk. The city is FINALLY redoing our neighborhood roads, aafter 30 years of slapping pavement on top of the cracked stuff. The roads are getting torn up and are all hustle and bustle with big machinery, but I still got some pretty pics!
( Nature! )
Nero was very stubborn and ridiculous about being on my lap in the evening.
Bad pic but a bunny was helping out, eating dandelions in the yard:
It was Day 2 of my workout program, "Fun" day. So I did the walk and played lighter-hearted/less intensity ITG (because ITG will also be my day 3, Interval cardio) AND traded off with Steve every few songs.
Workout outfit:
( Workout! )
After showering, Steve and I got up to some fun even though we were both SO tired. I'm happy about how into me he seems lately! I'm always surprised! But omg we were both so sore. It was hot though! Then we made a pizza - it was a "croissant crust" from DiGiorno he wanted to try. He said they really lost out not calling it something like "CRUST-ssant!" XDD
After that, played a bit of Hearthstone battlegrounds together. This match here - I think this screenshot was the first time I went up against them. I was certain I'd lose - look at his board and health compared to mine! We ended up going head to head at least 6 times, tying most games and the rest I wore them down. I ended up taking first somehow!! It was awesome. My opponent also was having a silly fun time at the ridiculousness of our matchups, because it NEVER goes on that long. By our last matchup he had the one Big Boi up to over 100 attack and health!
Separately, in a meeting this morning, Mike told me that SPPS (Saint Paul) teaching staff received a gag order to not talk about the incident at all - with students or with staff. The FUCK. If they did that to us when Philando Castile was killed, I would have quit immediately.
In a meeting this morning, Mike, Jake, Alex, Sandy and I all talked about the shit going on in Minneapolis. Jake and Alex are on the up and up, Sandy's almost there, and Mike is focusing on the wrong thing ("Losing the contract with the U won't hurt the police force financially") - but Jake really nicely educated him on the "message" it sends, and Sandy pointed out that she used to work at a bank, and cutting off the relationship with the police force does hurt individual officers who used it as a part-time job.
To start, wanted to show you guys one of Nero's favorite spots to lay:
You can find him so often at the top of the stairs. XD
( More cat goodness and lunch stuff )
Got some yarn goodies! Happy to support these guys. <3 <3 They threw in the big tote as a gift!! I love it XD
( Lovelyyyyy )
Steve and I went for a leisurely, short walk. The city is FINALLY redoing our neighborhood roads, aafter 30 years of slapping pavement on top of the cracked stuff. The roads are getting torn up and are all hustle and bustle with big machinery, but I still got some pretty pics!
( Nature! )
Nero was very stubborn and ridiculous about being on my lap in the evening.
Bad pic but a bunny was helping out, eating dandelions in the yard:
It was Day 2 of my workout program, "Fun" day. So I did the walk and played lighter-hearted/less intensity ITG (because ITG will also be my day 3, Interval cardio) AND traded off with Steve every few songs.
Workout outfit:
( Workout! )
After showering, Steve and I got up to some fun even though we were both SO tired. I'm happy about how into me he seems lately! I'm always surprised! But omg we were both so sore. It was hot though! Then we made a pizza - it was a "croissant crust" from DiGiorno he wanted to try. He said they really lost out not calling it something like "CRUST-ssant!" XDD
After that, played a bit of Hearthstone battlegrounds together. This match here - I think this screenshot was the first time I went up against them. I was certain I'd lose - look at his board and health compared to mine! We ended up going head to head at least 6 times, tying most games and the rest I wore them down. I ended up taking first somehow!! It was awesome. My opponent also was having a silly fun time at the ridiculousness of our matchups, because it NEVER goes on that long. By our last matchup he had the one Big Boi up to over 100 attack and health!
Separately, in a meeting this morning, Mike told me that SPPS (Saint Paul) teaching staff received a gag order to not talk about the incident at all - with students or with staff. The FUCK. If they did that to us when Philando Castile was killed, I would have quit immediately.
In a meeting this morning, Mike, Jake, Alex, Sandy and I all talked about the shit going on in Minneapolis. Jake and Alex are on the up and up, Sandy's almost there, and Mike is focusing on the wrong thing ("Losing the contract with the U won't hurt the police force financially") - but Jake really nicely educated him on the "message" it sends, and Sandy pointed out that she used to work at a bank, and cutting off the relationship with the police force does hurt individual officers who used it as a part-time job.
Action being taken by the U
May. 27th, 2020 11:32 pmEmail sent to us from President Gabel this evening:
So fucking upset at George Floyd's murder.
His murderer, Derek Chauvin, lives in my suburb, and is married to one of the agents who works at Re/Max with Courtney. We're all tied so closely with terrible people. Racism is everywhere, and we are all complicit. Chauvin has been involved in SEVERAL shootings, and not once held accountable. It was only a matter of time before he killed someone in cold blood. Tou Thao also has a history of aligning himself with white supremacy, not seeing how he is a pawn and will be no more valued than the people he harms for the "cause."
I didn't join in the protests yesterday, mostly because we were in a tornado warning with a huge storm so I assumed it was bad weather everywhere and thought efforts were dispersed.
I fired off a bunch of contacts demanding justice. Most news outlets are supportive of Floyd, but the video is being shared EVERYWHERE and it's so inappropriate to do. Trauma porn is not okay. Devaluing black bodies is not okay.
I didn't really sleep last night, so I called in today to get a few hours.
His murderer, Derek Chauvin, lives in my suburb, and is married to one of the agents who works at Re/Max with Courtney. We're all tied so closely with terrible people. Racism is everywhere, and we are all complicit. Chauvin has been involved in SEVERAL shootings, and not once held accountable. It was only a matter of time before he killed someone in cold blood. Tou Thao also has a history of aligning himself with white supremacy, not seeing how he is a pawn and will be no more valued than the people he harms for the "cause."
I didn't join in the protests yesterday, mostly because we were in a tornado warning with a huge storm so I assumed it was bad weather everywhere and thought efforts were dispersed.
I fired off a bunch of contacts demanding justice. Most news outlets are supportive of Floyd, but the video is being shared EVERYWHERE and it's so inappropriate to do. Trauma porn is not okay. Devaluing black bodies is not okay.
I didn't really sleep last night, so I called in today to get a few hours.
