spritechan: (Default)
I am still so very angry. To help soothe my rage, I took pictures of things throughout the day yesterday that gave me joy or made me smile.

To start, wanted to show you guys one of Nero's favorite spots to lay:

You can find him so often at the top of the stairs. XD

More cat goodness and lunch stuff )

Got some yarn goodies! Happy to support these guys. <3 <3 They threw in the big tote as a gift!! I love it XD
Lovelyyyyy )

Steve and I went for a leisurely, short walk. The city is FINALLY redoing our neighborhood roads, aafter 30 years of slapping pavement on top of the cracked stuff. The roads are getting torn up and are all hustle and bustle with big machinery, but I still got some pretty pics!

Nature! )

Nero was very stubborn and ridiculous about being on my lap in the evening.


Bad pic but a bunny was helping out, eating dandelions in the yard:


It was Day 2 of my workout program, "Fun" day. So I did the walk and played lighter-hearted/less intensity ITG (because ITG will also be my day 3, Interval cardio) AND traded off with Steve every few songs.


Workout outfit:


Workout! )
After showering, Steve and I got up to some fun even though we were both SO tired. I'm happy about how into me he seems lately! I'm always surprised! But omg we were both so sore. It was hot though! Then we made a pizza - it was a "croissant crust" from DiGiorno he wanted to try. He said they really lost out not calling it something like "CRUST-ssant!" XDD

After that, played a bit of Hearthstone battlegrounds together. This match here - I think this screenshot was the first time I went up against them. I was certain I'd lose - look at his board and health compared to mine! We ended up going head to head at least 6 times, tying most games and the rest I wore them down. I ended up taking first somehow!! It was awesome. My opponent also was having a silly fun time at the ridiculousness of our matchups, because it NEVER goes on that long. By our last matchup he had the one Big Boi up to over 100 attack and health!


Separately, in a meeting this morning, Mike told me that SPPS (Saint Paul) teaching staff received a gag order to not talk about the incident at all - with students or with staff. The FUCK. If they did that to us when Philando Castile was killed, I would have quit immediately.

In a meeting this morning, Mike, Jake, Alex, Sandy and I all talked about the shit going on in Minneapolis. Jake and Alex are on the up and up, Sandy's almost there, and Mike is focusing on the wrong thing ("Losing the contract with the U won't hurt the police force financially") - but Jake really nicely educated him on the "message" it sends, and Sandy pointed out that she used to work at a bank, and cutting off the relationship with the police force does hurt individual officers who used it as a part-time job.
spritechan: (Dilbert - I have a good attitude)

I've had a very rough couple of weeks at work. It's kinda like everyone's lives fell apart and I don't have enough time to help them all. I have a few clients who have gotten more verbally abusive, and I've been feeling guilty even though it's not my fault. I've had several 5-minute-long messages about how a client is mad  at me and I don't do my job and all I care about is my paycheck, all because I tried to explain mental illness to her because she's so delusional about why she has schizophrenia. I had a hospital nurse scream at me before hanging up rudely when I desperately needed to know if they got a fax because the timing was very important. I've had to revoke a client's commitment and do all the paperwork myself with the court liason because there wasn't enough time for the county to finish it. I've sat in an emergency room with a client for two hours after having spent the previous 2 hours dealing with her (as Phoebe put it, "I have to get out of here before I put your head through a wall!"). The stress has been building and building and all I want to do is crawl into bed and cry and not come out for days.

It took all my strength to go to personal training yesterday. I didn't go on Tuesday because I had a migraine and was also throwing a pity party for myself. I went in and Martin was all, "Hey! You look really skinny today!" I was caught off-guard and got all blushy and denying, because I ate sooo much crap over the past week and barely exercised at all because I've been too depressed to get motivated. At my last check-in, Martin told me that another member told him that my face was looking a lot skinnier than when we started. It was flattering and amusing that other people watch me in the gym. Usually I'm all about the awareness of other people, but when I'm working out all I can do is focus on the task at hand. Which is good. I've continued to improve - I'm now down to 25% body fat, my legs were the same in inches but I lost 3 more percent fat, and I lost a half an inch on my arms, and waist. But as I said, I've been struggling lately.

I'm taking Monday off and so is Steve. We're spending a nice long weekend together and I hope I feel better by Tuesday. I just feel suffocated and so burnt out. I feel shitty and ineffective and I know I shouldn't. I hate that it appears my life revolves around work, because it really shouldn't. It should only be a *part* of my life. Not the only part I can talk about because I need hours upon hours to process everything I've been through.

Through all this, Steve has been amazing. He's been patient with my venting and has put up with my stress-induced irritability, and almost literal battle against feelings suffocated. Even sitting here talking about it/doing paperwork I'm having physical sensations of pressure and difficulty breathing.

But! I've been playing a lot of Arkham City, and it's the right amount of challenging for me and I'm having a lot of fun with it. So that's nice. :) I made a new backlog banner to go with it, and I'm enjoying having a fun game to play.


spritechan: (Dilbert - I have a good attitude)

I've had a very rough couple of weeks at work. It's kinda like everyone's lives fell apart and I don't have enough time to help them all. I have a few clients who have gotten more verbally abusive, and I've been feeling guilty even though it's not my fault. I've had several 5-minute-long messages about how a client is mad  at me and I don't do my job and all I care about is my paycheck, all because I tried to explain mental illness to her because she's so delusional about why she has schizophrenia. I had a hospital nurse scream at me before hanging up rudely when I desperately needed to know if they got a fax because the timing was very important. I've had to revoke a client's commitment and do all the paperwork myself with the court liason because there wasn't enough time for the county to finish it. I've sat in an emergency room with a client for two hours after having spent the previous 2 hours dealing with her (as Phoebe put it, "I have to get out of here before I put your head through a wall!"). The stress has been building and building and all I want to do is crawl into bed and cry and not come out for days.

It took all my strength to go to personal training yesterday. I didn't go on Tuesday because I had a migraine and was also throwing a pity party for myself. I went in and Martin was all, "Hey! You look really skinny today!" I was caught off-guard and got all blushy and denying, because I ate sooo much crap over the past week and barely exercised at all because I've been too depressed to get motivated. At my last check-in, Martin told me that another member told him that my face was looking a lot skinnier than when we started. It was flattering and amusing that other people watch me in the gym. Usually I'm all about the awareness of other people, but when I'm working out all I can do is focus on the task at hand. Which is good. I've continued to improve - I'm now down to 25% body fat, my legs were the same in inches but I lost 3 more percent fat, and I lost a half an inch on my arms, and waist. But as I said, I've been struggling lately.

I'm taking Monday off and so is Steve. We're spending a nice long weekend together and I hope I feel better by Tuesday. I just feel suffocated and so burnt out. I feel shitty and ineffective and I know I shouldn't. I hate that it appears my life revolves around work, because it really shouldn't. It should only be a *part* of my life. Not the only part I can talk about because I need hours upon hours to process everything I've been through.

Through all this, Steve has been amazing. He's been patient with my venting and has put up with my stress-induced irritability, and almost literal battle against feelings suffocated. Even sitting here talking about it/doing paperwork I'm having physical sensations of pressure and difficulty breathing.

But! I've been playing a lot of Arkham City, and it's the right amount of challenging for me and I'm having a lot of fun with it. So that's nice. :) I made a new backlog banner to go with it, and I'm enjoying having a fun game to play.


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