My thoughts on the Catholic Church and its Pedophilia Problem

[spritechan]

The level of disgust that I feel towards people who cover up sexual abuse crimes is almost immeasurable.

The Catholic church has been hiding their abuse of children for centuries, and this started because the people of the church wanted to ensure that property of men went to the church when they died, not families? The requirement of celibacy came about very early on in the church, because the church wasn't satisfied with the married bishops, etc. passing their land on to their sons. Nothing in the Bible says anything about being celibate as a member of the church, and the apostles had families. So what the fuck, Catholicism?

Many men who become a part of the church start at a very early age, like 14 years old. When they make these decisions to join the church, it's like they're halting their psychosexual development. They're fed all these rules about controlling themselves, when really they're just BEGGING for these... kids, really... to become pedophiles. They're not taught how to understand their bodies and the urges they feel, and they are discouraged from exploring these feelings. All of us know how pleasurable sexual feelings are since we're free to express them. But what about a 20-year-old (or what-have-you) priest who never learned to understand and channel his feelings? He works with children. He feels affectionate towards these children. He feels connected to these children. In effect, he's nearly at the same stage of psychosexual development they are at. Children are trusting, and naive. What better subjects to explore your sexual curiosity with without feeling like you're really breaking the rules?

Let's not forget that it's safe to assume that a large number of these men were ALSO abused as children, and are simply perpetuating what they learned as children themselves. Did it feel wrong, or bad, or uncomfortable when it happened to them? Certainly. Did they learn those behaviors from their abusers? Almost definitely. They first are against the actions, but then learn to accept them. Learn to squash their feelings and accept the fear and pain. It's just a part of life, and surely their priest, their vessel of Jesus, wouldn't do something to them that wasn't okay! And yet... they know it's not something they should be telling people. Because deep down it really hurts. It's scary. It's involving parts of their body that they were taught were private.

I firmly believe that if the Catholic church allowed their priests to have families, that this would happen a lot less. There would still be abusers within the church, but I think the number would be far fewer. Because these men would have been given the chance to grow into their sexuality and express it in a healthy way. Personally I think celibacy itself is appalling, but that's likely here nor there.

I don't think that pedophiles are inherently monsters. I think that they learned a specific way to behave, and found an outlet for their sexuality. I think that that outlet is viewed by the Catholic church as no worse than being sexual with an adult. It's just another form of "sex," in a world where "sex" is forbidden, and is probably considered lesser because they're children, and also because children are less likely to tell. I think that these priests are stuck in the wrong stage of psychosexual development, and they need help in order to correct that. By ignoring claims of abuse (and even pleas for help from the pedophile priests), the church is only exacerbating the problem, and preventing these men from getting the help they desperately need. 

I wish that we could live in a world where a priest could confess his feelings (hopefully it would only be urges, but likely it would be reported abuse) to his leader, and the leader could arrange for counseling, for therapy, to help them work through it. I really think that, especially at the beginning, these men could be helped in controlling those urges. Attraction towards children is likely never to go away, but at least they could understand why they CANNOT do that, and WHY it's so horrifically wrong for them to hurt children, and that what happened to them as kids (likely) is no less wrong. That THEY are victims too. I also wish that the Catholic church would realize how negative the requirement for celibacy really is, and repeal that. The cycle of pain and suffering just has to end, and it has to start somewhere. It has to start with the church facing their mistakes and taking steps to amend for what has been broken.

Just.. UNNNGHFHGHFH

Comments

[absinthe-satori.livejournal.com]

You may be right about the entrainment of pedophilia in those cases. But the mind has ENORMOUS plasticity unless it is severely defective, as in the case of the true sociopath. It is possible to rewire a "mostly normal" brain, although things that are that primal and that deeply embedded that early and that strongly.. Maybe, maybe not. But yes, in he non-sociopath, I think coping skills and proper ethics can at least smetimes be "overlaid" on the deformed template that was entrained. A couple tangentially similar psychological phenomena (although dealing with far less heinous problems) are the fact that ADHD sufferers (such as myself) learn and entrain coping skills which reduce the overall pathology of ADHD as we age. (My ADHD is still severe, and now medicated which helps, but even before my diagnosis and treatment, I had learned some ways of reducing the problems with focus, social skills, etc.) And sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder (a horrible horrible thing, which affects some people very close to me) can tend to subside, as the sufferer ages and is no longer exposed to the traumas that caused it to develop in childhood, and develops overlapping, positive experience-patterns.

Mind (or at least brain) IS matter, and is constantly re-wiring itself (either good or bad) through experience or atrophy. I am right-handed, but about 15 years ago I became ambidextrous to a large extent, simply by "mirror-imaging" everything I did. for a month. I had laid the groundwork for years by being a guitarist and keyboardist, but I took it to the next level. I ate, shaved, brushed my teeth, did bathroom stuff, EVERYTHING with the opposite hand from the usual. Switched which side of my pants I carried my money, my keys, etc in, For the first few days, I tied my right wrist to my belt to keep me from accidentally using it. I am still mostly right-hand-dominant, but I can write legibly (although slowly) with either hand, even upside down and/or backwards. People with traumatic brain injuries who become partially paralyzed can re-wire their brains to use different parts to control motion and regain dexterity. Etc.

Not sure how much this translates to the original subject, but I think that even deep-rooted entrainments can often be rewired. I've had no reason to discuss pedophilia with my psychiatrist, but he was impressed and fully agreed with my ideas about brain plasticity. As did my cornea doctor, when I suffered a corneal scar in my dominant eye, and re-entrained my other eye to be (mostly) dominant.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

The problem here lies with desire. Comparing becoming ambidextrous with learning to be attracted to something that you are not formerly attracted to are not on the same plane of learning. NOT abusing children can be learned, but the desires are likely never to disappear, which is part of the reason sex offenders are on a registered list (not saying I agree with the violation of privacy, but the general consensus is that it cannot simply be "cured").

I work in an intensive rehab facility for the mentally ill (level 4-5, just below a hospital setting), and deal with many disorders, most commonly BPD and schizoaffective. I see where you're coming there as well, but again, treated borderline is learning different behaviors and coping mechanisms, whereas this particular type of sex offender is physically and emotionally attracted to children, not men or women. Can you teach someone to be attracted to something they're not? If so, can you teach homosexuals to become hetero?

[absinthe-satori.livejournal.com]

I wrote a long missive about this, but decided to wait and see about posting it. Very personal. But suffice it to say I have experienced and dealt with psychosexual issues, healthy and otherwise, in myself and others. Gender/preference orientation is not very plastic, but many actual damages and dysfunctions can be, at least in some people.. In others, well, not so much.

I beat a psychosexual drug/sex tie-in addiction from hell, the last few years. Mostly. Still miss the marathon sex.. Or, any sex at all, lately. The meth can go to hell though. That was several years and several grand I'll never get back. The 24-hour marathon sex was the best EVAR, tho. But, I guess I need to begin reflecting on how rich in experience, if not money, my life has been. I've lived a dozen lives, been a total outcast (my name was a curse-word, for a time) a minor local celebrity an video art mentor, operated a government supercomputer, invented and played my own musical and video instruments as well as damn near anything with strings or keys on it, gained, lost, and regained a 3 1/2 to 4 octave voice range with expressive variation, politely insulted the most powerful (at the time) man on earth and he hook my hand before and after (Bush the Elder), partied (and worked with, and jammed) with rock stars, drank with a federal judge (at about 10 years old), at least once used telekinesis and many many times had clairvoyance, had my art and writing published in a 5,000 circulation wordlwide-circulated magazine a few times, helped redesign the 5th-most powerful pumpkin-cannon in the country, stood naked on a bucket at a party and took 3 foot long electric sparks into my hand, and passed part of that through my other hand to make a spark between my girl's hand and mine (after repairing that device for its owners), survived a half-dozen or so potentially lethal car wrecks with only whiplash one time, been gifted tens of thousands of dollars worth of video gear by my wonderful scary cool crazy-ass art mentor and many others, ridden in tens of millions of dollars worth of exotic cars,... ... Maybe I need to appreciate more what I've had and less what I feel I'm missing.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you've been able to overcome demons and experience a live so full. Not everyone can defeat their monsters, and not everyone wants to.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

Also, if you ever want to PM me something vs writing it in a comment, you're always welcome.

[absinthe-satori.livejournal.com]

I developed a fetish for long-haired hippie girls, bordering on obsession. Then goth girls. And especially hippie-goth girls. That resulted from very formative experiences in my earlier life. Then, my wife lost her lovely long red hair she grew out just for me, to an illness. I never liked short hair, on me or my lovers. But I rewired my desire, and she is as beautiful to me as ever, with more or less a crew-cut.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

However, your wife is still a woman. Not a child, not a teenager, not a man. However different her hair may be, her functional anatomy is still the same. She has breasts and a mature vagina - of which children and men do not. You simply adapted your specific taste of hair type, not the gender or stage of growth of human with which you are attracted.