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spritechan
For my own clarification, I haven't yet decided whether to close that original account completely (the one linked to my mom and stepdad's account from when I was a teen and had to), because I'm a baby and JUST got a bunch of checks for it and don't wanna~ order new ones for my new account :P
As for gifts, I have most of them down. Still need to buy for a few people, but I think I have almost all my gifts picked out. I'm going to talk to Paul tomorrow when we meet for lunch about what to get his parents, and gotta ask my dad on Saturday what HE wants, but otherwise I think I'm pretty much set :) So much money spent this year for xmas, holy crap. I swear to god I've spent over $600 already ($250 on Steve alone... what can I say? I spoil him - he deserves it), and still have people to go! Though I must say, it feels really nice to be able to comfortably spend that much. I really do have a good, cushy position even if I don't really like it. Every time I'm making a frowny face because I spent so much money "already," I look into my savings and it's like, "Oh yeah! It's not a LOT, but I have been saving and am doing really well right now."
I love Steve and am very thankful for him. A coworker, Chuehue, and I talk for a few minutes at the end of every weekend after shift change is over. He's a middle-aged Asian man with perfect sly anime teeth, a very soft voice, and endearing narrow eyes that are so genuine. We discuss family, love, and school/work. When lamenting about Steve's schooling issues to him, he looked at me thoughtfully and said, "If he did go to the other school, maybe life would have been very different. Maybe you two would not have ever met." And I sat there, stunned. I mean, I've considered this before, but I somehow manage to forget. And the way he said it really made me go over it again.
If Steve didn't go to Brown, he wouldn't have met Pat. If he didn't meet Pat he never would have hung out with Bryce (though he would have known him through Andy). If I didn't go to Kiki's that fateful day before I broke up with Dan, I might not have met Bryce (or at least probably wouldn't have talked to him outside of parties at Kiki's - same with Pat, I thought he was just another burnout when I first met him). If I never dated Bryce and became friendlier with Pat/Maggie, I never would have been introduced to Steve. If I stopped hanging out with the group after Bryce and I stopped dating, Steve and I would never have dated. Pat and Maggie were head-over-heels for me, but that fades with loss of contact. I probably would have continued working at the middle school, and hung out with the girls more, partied more, and maybe would have continued smoking pot semi-regularly. I might have dated Eric Gleisner again, and I don't know what's behind that door. Funny how life works, isn't it? What-if's are really eye-opening sometimes.
For what it's worth, I'm happy with my life. I get to be myself with a man who gets me and supports me in so many ways. We rarely fight, and our fights aren't really considered fights compared to others. More like arguments where we both get worked up and then talk it out while feeling negative feelings. Versus yelling, tears, storming out, flying objects, pushing, etc. It's just smooth sailing, and it's so... nice. :)
As for gifts, I have most of them down. Still need to buy for a few people, but I think I have almost all my gifts picked out. I'm going to talk to Paul tomorrow when we meet for lunch about what to get his parents, and gotta ask my dad on Saturday what HE wants, but otherwise I think I'm pretty much set :) So much money spent this year for xmas, holy crap. I swear to god I've spent over $600 already ($250 on Steve alone... what can I say? I spoil him - he deserves it), and still have people to go! Though I must say, it feels really nice to be able to comfortably spend that much. I really do have a good, cushy position even if I don't really like it. Every time I'm making a frowny face because I spent so much money "already," I look into my savings and it's like, "Oh yeah! It's not a LOT, but I have been saving and am doing really well right now."
I love Steve and am very thankful for him. A coworker, Chuehue, and I talk for a few minutes at the end of every weekend after shift change is over. He's a middle-aged Asian man with perfect sly anime teeth, a very soft voice, and endearing narrow eyes that are so genuine. We discuss family, love, and school/work. When lamenting about Steve's schooling issues to him, he looked at me thoughtfully and said, "If he did go to the other school, maybe life would have been very different. Maybe you two would not have ever met." And I sat there, stunned. I mean, I've considered this before, but I somehow manage to forget. And the way he said it really made me go over it again.
If Steve didn't go to Brown, he wouldn't have met Pat. If he didn't meet Pat he never would have hung out with Bryce (though he would have known him through Andy). If I didn't go to Kiki's that fateful day before I broke up with Dan, I might not have met Bryce (or at least probably wouldn't have talked to him outside of parties at Kiki's - same with Pat, I thought he was just another burnout when I first met him). If I never dated Bryce and became friendlier with Pat/Maggie, I never would have been introduced to Steve. If I stopped hanging out with the group after Bryce and I stopped dating, Steve and I would never have dated. Pat and Maggie were head-over-heels for me, but that fades with loss of contact. I probably would have continued working at the middle school, and hung out with the girls more, partied more, and maybe would have continued smoking pot semi-regularly. I might have dated Eric Gleisner again, and I don't know what's behind that door. Funny how life works, isn't it? What-if's are really eye-opening sometimes.
For what it's worth, I'm happy with my life. I get to be myself with a man who gets me and supports me in so many ways. We rarely fight, and our fights aren't really considered fights compared to others. More like arguments where we both get worked up and then talk it out while feeling negative feelings. Versus yelling, tears, storming out, flying objects, pushing, etc. It's just smooth sailing, and it's so... nice. :)
