spritechan: (Lost - Hurley list on arm for Jack)
I had a pretty awful day yesterday and ended up spending almost the entirety of the day at the vet and then the emergency clinic, and most of the time spent inbetween was through moping and sleeping.

Grimmy got blocked up again, and acted the same as last time: tried to pee, sat on the floor, meowed mournfully and gave me reproachful looks. When they looked at him they said he was worse than last time and they'd want to leave the catheter in for a few days. Money spent: $310. Then they recommended taking him to a 24-hour clinic nearby so he can be monitored at all times. What I didn't know was that this place is actually where the kings of the world visit when they want to stay at a hotel. The bill range for keeping Grim there? $1300 to $2500. Soooo... since the 5th I have spent a minimum of $2500 on this.

Now, money is just money. Grim is far more important to me than any money. HOWEVER. Vets here don't allow payment plans. They require everything up-front RIGHT NOW. So for people like me who make around $1000 every two weeks, it's going to hurt. People wonder why our society views pets as disposable. I would be sitting so pretty if I'd have just paid to put Grim down. And what happens if he gets sick AGAIN (which is, sadly, quite common) and I can't afford it? I couldn't even afford it NOW - the vet allowed me to open a $3000-limit credit line with a 27% interest rate if I don't pay it off quickly. I have enough if I use my credit cards and my entire savings, but I need to be able to pay my other bills and rent too. It's ridiculous and sad. 

Despite this bullshit, I still am steadfastly not going to give up on Grim. There is what's considered the "three strike rule" with his condition, and after the third blockage they recommend surgery. The surgery itself sounds horrific: they remove the most distal part of the penis and widen the opening, while creating a new urethra and bypass the old one. The issue again is: HOW MUCH DOES IT COST. Nowhere I've looked gives numbers, except for in Canada for $1200. Unfortunately, Canada is not the US and probably has better rates. Not to mention the healing process. I really, desperately hope it doesn't come to that.

I became very angry when I got an update from them. I didn't want them to do bloodwork, because last week it showed he was within normal ranges. I was told they "pretty much have to - no, they HAVE to." And, as I thought, it was FINE. I am a very aware parent, and I would not let him suffer. I mean, I was on constant alert, and he was still able to get some pee out, so I figured his kidneys were okay. And they are. And fuck you for taking my money. What I DID pay for that I didn't EXACTLY (on the outright) need to was to replace the catheter. They said that the one in him was very rigid and at risk for kinda making things worse with inflammation, so they "offered" to replace it with a softer one. In the call they said it was good I agreed because it was actually kinked and now he's more comfortable. Half the problem is that he's in pain and therefore his urinary sphincter closes as a reaction and prevents him from peeing. He needs to be comfortable in order to pee. It's a vicious cycle. Ugh.

Steve and I still went out to eat, a quiet lunch, and exchanged gifts (in a more subdued fashion than normal). I got him a tshirt with an adorable moogle on it and Epic Mickey (it was on sale on Amazon and I had a gift card), and he modeled, photoshopped, and framed an adorable inside cuteness. Instead of the big dango family, he made dangos with a danbo and made it the big danbo family using engrish and other cute phrases. It was adorable and great. I love homemade gifts. I also gave him a cute handmade card with Link and heart pieces and drew pictures and wrote all over it. Last year on our anniversary I bought him a card (my family is a family of Card Buyers) and he made me one that ended up being a billion times better, so I had to one-up him. Especially because he still makes fun of me for buying him a card ;)

He has been wonderful through all this. He wants to comfort me but I think I push him away, because a hug isn't going to fix my problems. Talking with him helps, and him being understanding about my need to feel these sad feelings and be depressed and sleep and sit on the floor of the shower and have a flat affect and appear cold is really helpful. He's there for me all the way, and I'm grateful for him.

Aaaanyway, I'm ridiculously depressed and mopey. Gonna eat some food and stare at the wall a lot wishing I could be home in bed. Keep Grim in your thoughts!

Bad Day

Sep. 1st, 2010 03:06 am
spritechan: (Grim it's been a long day)
I'm actually not one to have bad days. Not since I cut myself free after 5 years with Dan and our poor excuse for a relationship. Steve and I get along phenomenally, and if we have a conflict (which is pretty uncommon) it doesn't take long to talk out. I'm on good terms with my family (minus the bad dreams I often have that i think hurts it from my end), and on good terms with my friends. I pretty much don't have bad days - more like, A Couple Hours of Suck Wrapped in a Pretty Good Day. 

Yesterday was A Bad Day.

The evening went fine while I was working, until it was time for shift change. My coworkers noticed one of the Narc counts was off. I know I only counted 79, but I signed for 79.5. Pickle. The program manager was super pissed at me because I didn't look at the number I was signing off on. I'm sorry that I put too much stock into my coworkers to LISTEN to the number I tell them, and if it doesn't match to let me know and we'll figure it out from there. So my coworker was stupid for not hearing me say half a pill less than she wrote down, but I was the bigger idiot because I was the one PRESENT for the wrath and for not double-checking what she wrote. There was a ton of confusion at this time, because I had been trying to talk to them and give out meds and write an incident report and med error (THIS IS WHY WE HAVE MED ERRORS DON'T MAKE US MULTITASK) and so I kept missing places to sign all the meds. It was a DISASTER. I almost cried I was so stressed out.

I was finally able to get out of there, and I stopped at school to drop something off, and I went to the Michael's by my Dr's office. Of COURSE they didn't have the right color yarn for me. I bought all the secondary colors I'd need (or at least a good chunk of them), but I can't use them unless I have a finished scarf. So I still needed the purple. Having more time left before my appt, I stopped over at Half-Priced books... and bought some stuff. "A Guide to writing Kanji and Kana" By Tuttle and the revised edition of Japanese for Busy People I. I am suuuuuper excited about the writing book. I have a copy machine at work and I made several copies of the first few hirigana practice pages so I can really begin to learn. I'm so happy about that!! AND the nurse called me and told me they found the missing half a pill and all is well with the world of narcotics at Maghakian Place. When I left though, my car gave me a scare and did a hard start. I need a new battery.

My doctor's appointment contributes to my Bad Day because it was a follow-up pap. My yearly came back abnormal but I also had an infection at the time so I refuse to pay for a colposcopy until I get confirmation again. It's expensive and invasive and 99% of the time comes up with nothing.

I stopped at WalMart on the way home (though it wasn't actually "on the way") and got my yarn. Then I FINALLY got home about 11:30am, and I get a call from my new advisor for school. She did EXACTLY what I knew she would as a new staff - searched my credits with a fine-tooth comb - and is having me come up ONE CLASS SHORT OF FUCKING GRADUATION. I told her I WAS graduating this fall. That the Department Head, Dr. Shelton, told me this summer that if my Audit Report gives me a checkmark, that it SHOULD SLIDE. I think I intimidated her (I was very edgy by this point and maybe talked with a harsher and more condescending tone than I should have). We agreed I would CC her on an email to Dr. Shelton. I'm practically BEGGING them to just let me graduate. I've been in school for 6 years, I've taken more than enough credits, just PLEASE, PLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEE let me graduate. *sob*

And finally, Steve works until 11 this week and I leave for work at 11:45 so GOD that sucks. And Mike, a good friend from HS and my 2 years at UMD who now lives in Utah doing Geology stuff, had to cancel dinner on the 4th because he mixed up a wedding date. BUT! That might be salvaged with lunch the next day. Not sure. Ugh.

Begone with you, Bad Day!

*poof*

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