spritechan | Reflection on 2017 and looking forward to 2018

Goals of 2017 Reflection:
Year of Action:

I will develop a healthy self in order to improve my confidence and self-esteem and manage my weight.
This looks like being active at least 3 times per week, as well as eating whole foods. No excuses for being lazy with meal-making. Eating out 1 time per week max (we do brunch every Sunday morning and I love that we do). I have gained a lot of weight over the past couple of months and I need to balance that out (she says as she stuffs taco bell that she's not even enjoying into her face).
1/1/18: I am decently active, but I have really struggled to get to yoga this past year, due to my illness, traveling, and work. I eat well 80% of the time, and Steve and I have regular conversations about food consumption.

I will get at least one massage.
1/1/18: GOD DAMMIT I FAILED FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW

I will explore new places as much as I can.
Ex. Mexico with Haley, ideally traveling to Japan this year. Applying to exchange or teaching programs. Go places locally with Steve or Haley.
1/1/18: Haley and I went to Mexico and California, and Steve and I traveled to Madison a lot. I went to Chicago with Ben, Sean and Dave, and again separately with Steve. Playa del Carmen with Haley had a profound impact on me and what I want to do when I travel. I talked earnestly about this with Steve when we planned our budget, and we even developed a realistic cost for our trip to Ohio this year.

Be more effusive with Steve. Take a more active role in our relationship.
Stop being so lazy and favor-asking. Reciprocate mushiness more and be more affectionate.
1/1/18: Steve and Leah 2017 was good. We had a smooth year. When the school year started I pulled away, from everyone, to focus on myself. We both kind of focused on our jobs (him unnecessarily and he's not happy about that). When we hung out together, we did super well with connections and communication. Strong as ever.

I will dedicate myself to learning Japanese on a consistent basis.
Baby steps, but I want to do this so badly. I just need to do it.
1/1/18: Did not do this. Sometimes I'm sad about it, but right now where I am in my life, I acknowledge it's just not the time, and that's okay.

I will finish my thesis by May.
I literally have to do this or I will be in Big Trouble. Fo real. Steve says I will be single if I don't.This same thing happened when I didn't want to graduate with my Bachelor's by the end.
1/1/18: I did this, and I did it well, and I am incredibly proud of the work I did. I have a Master's degree and 90% of a second Master's. I'm good.

Steve and I have a deal that if I beat a game such as Chrono Cross, I will be allowed to play Persona 5 first.
I have more time now that the release has been delayed, and he said it doesn't HAVE to be Chrono Cross but definitely a game like it from his nostalgic love. I began the game but for literally no reason other than time I stopped playing. I know it's a good game and I'll love it.
1/1/18: Oops, I not only failed at this but I also failed at Persona. I was a VERY BAD GAMER in 2017.

I will be more mindful of my spending in order to help us create a more ideal life.
We began 2016 as the Year of Savings, but things like my trip to Cincinnati/Cleveland, Skydiving, paying for the trip to Mexico, etc. on top of buying clothes and stuff, it fell apart by June. I want a new computer so badly and of course I ALWAYS want new tattoos. Steve needs a new computer and I desperately want a Vitamix (currently have a couple hundred in cash saved up specifically for that).
1/1/18: 2017 was probably my worst spending year yet, BECAUSE of all my trips, and then around when I started school I kind of lost my mind and bought whatever the hell I wanted for like 3 straight months. HOWEVER, we also saved for things - like I did get my Vitamix, because I saved money and we waited for it to go on sale. Mike gave us a brand new computer tower so Steve is okay on that front.

Continue to spend almost none time on social media.
I have gotten so much of my life and so much time, energy, and happiness back by avoiding it. I need to keep it up.
1/1/18: Overall I did well at this. I did reinstall the Facebook app on my phone, but I don't have notifications turned on. I check it a couple of times per day. I don't use Twitter or Tumblr, and Instagram doesn't take much scrolling time. Haley and Bethany created a snapchat group and that ruined my life for awhile with literal hours of snaps to sift through, but I recently turned off notifications for that as well, and check them in my own good time. I don't really post on FB but I do tag my friends in memes. That's about it.

I will learn to crochet.
More than just crappy-to-okay doilies. I am talented with knitting, and I'd love to have the versatility of crocheting at my fingertips.The reason I taught myself to knit in 2007 was because I wanted to knit these Harry Potter book scarves - I had a goal in mind that I wanted to achieve. For crochet I want to be able to make SO MANY THINGS. I also get a lot of disappointment from people who can't tell the difference between knitting and crochet and will be all "Can you make this?!?!?!" and I have to let them know that no, sorry, I can't because that's crochet. I would LOVE to be able to crochet these dragonscale gauntlets, but according to people on Ravelry, it's pretty intermediate. I will instead choose a simpler project as a tangible goal by the end of the year: Nyan Cat Scarf. A long time ago at a Comic Con, Steve and I ran into this girl who was wearing the scarf (as well as a Gir shirt!!), and it turns out she'd made it herself. I was so jealous. I was too shy to get info to be her friend (and also, I don't historically make girl friends.. or friends at all because why.. so it didn't cross my mind until later). When I took the picture she was actually singing the nyan cat song and making the nyan cat dance. Too precious. According to the pattern, it uses a lot of basic crochet skills. It would be a good example and culmination of practice over the year.
1/1/18: I did learn to crochet, and I made myself a small afghan! I want to continue to get better because I only know the basics, but I feel happy that I CAN crochet. I still don't know a lot about starting projects, but once I get going, things are okay. There are several crochet projects that I purchased that I want to make, but I'm not confident enough yet. I'll continue working on this.

In terms of my goals and successes, 2017 was a weird year. I think I was more selfish than I should have been, but it felt so good to focus on myself. I did so many things that I wanted to do and didn't feel guilty about them. I kind of want to roll with this but in a healthier way. 2017 was the Year of Action, and I *was* active. I DID a lot of things. I am happy that I did.

When I think about 2018, I want to MAKE. I want to ACCOMPLISH. I want to CULTIVATE and INNOVATE and have tangible or visible results. This all leads me to:

2018, The Year of Creating:

I will create and maintain a space that makes me feel satisfied, comfortable and happy. [HOUSE]

This looks like continually evaluating my surroundings and getting rid of things that don't bring me joy. We have already done one sweep of the house and reduced our THINGS by a significant margin, but I would like to minimize even more.

This also looks like stopping letting the need to clean get out of control. It's amazing how two people can make the house look so shitty in a manner of days, when it's really not much work to clean up as we go.

Finally, this looks like obtaining the items I need to make the house satisfactory and fixing up where I can (within our budget).

Create space in our budget by adhering to the limits that Steve and I have set - not overspending, and utilizing the categories available to me. Pre-planning as much as I can with things like trips. Steve's

I will create and develop a body and lifestyle that I feel more content with. [ME]

This looks like finding and continuing a good routine with movement. I play ITG regularly and have begun a kickboxing program with my sister. I want to fit yoga into this to create my best self.

This also looks like being even more consistent with my eating. I have been gentle with myself as I figure out what my body needs to consume, what it craves. However, I have also consumed foods that I didn't want or need simply because they were easy. I need to be more deliberate and firm with my food boundaries because that's what makes me happy. Getting Steve to participate helps the relationship and makes us feel better as a whole.

I will continue to make improvements in ITG and become a stronger player. [HOBBY]

I have made a ridiculous amount of progress over the past year, and especially so from June onward. I feel good about how far I've come, and I want to keep up that momentum. I have specific goals on my Groovestats.

I will foster stronger relationships with people in my life who matter to me. [RELATIONSHIPS]

I really focused on myself this year - arguably one of the most selfish years for me on record. I'm not sorry for it, but there are relationships that matter to me and I have hurt some people's feelings because I choose me and being alone over everyone else. I want to develop a more balanced relationship dynamic - ie. not dedicate all of my "battery time" to Haley/snapchat. I have already taken steps to making this happen, such as not always feeling like I need to watch snaps immediately.

I think another thing I need to do is find a balance between not doing things I don't want to do and feeling like EVERY event is a burden. Because I almost always end up having fun. And like, sometimes I DO feel sad when I see people having fun without me - like Tealie, Anne, Courtnie and Preston got REALLY wasted at a club over this winter break and accidentally sent snaps to our school snapchat group and they looked like they were having the BEST time, and I was legitimately sad I wasn't invited, even though tbh I probably wouldn't have gone. It's been literally -15*F (-26*C) for a week with windchills at aroud -25 (-32) and I don't ever want to leave the house. And yet Anne invited us to a brunch tomorrow and I REALLY don't want to go, because it's my last day before school starts again. I'm probably going to go and have fun, but right now it sounds like a huge chore.

I want to continue to improve my relationship with Steve by being a more active partner. Things have been GREAT with us having this week off together. Again, our relationship is truly always good, but I want to continue to be more proactive and dynamic and loving. I spent most of the last few years abhorring the idea of marriage, but for the past few months I've been like, "Okay, he can propose to me if he wants, that's okay with me. We can have whatever length engagement we want." I'm still completely dreading the idea of a wedding, but I currently don't mind the idea of being married to him. I still don't know why I'm so freaked about marriage when we've been together for more than 8 and a half years and have lived together for 8 of them. Like, we're married in everything but legality and have been for some time. We jointly own a house. But the other day a mutual friend Jason commented on a pic of us and said, "My buddy and his bad ass wifey!!" and that made me surprisingly warm inside. And Steve's been calling me his "waifu" way more often, and I feel like he says that to express the sentiment but soften the vulnerability, ya know? People mistakenly call Steve my husband with increasing frequency (oh NO WE'RE SO OLD) and I've never corrected anyone because I don't care about that so....

I will create more. [HOBBY]

I got really into knitting more this year, and I want to complete more projects and curate more yarn that feeds my soul. Specifically I want to make more socks, washcloths, hats and scarves. I made Nick a scarf this year and next year is probably Scott's year. I'm working on one for Steve lowkey as well.

I want to crochet a bigger and better afghan this year. One that I will continually use. I may look into knitting one too, but knitting takes so much longer, so crochet is just so much more realistic.