spritechan | Writer's Block: I see you (Reply)

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First off, I would like to say that I think either half the people answering the question are liars, or only the "good" ones are answering, because I know A LOT of people who snoop on their significant other. I even know a girl who didn't want her boyfriend talking with this one girl, so she'd go into his email and facebook and delete any messages or emails she'd send him.

I don't think that you should snoop on your partner, no. It causes a lot of issues. I've read some of Steve's texts before and he's done the same to me, but never out of suspicion or anger. I remember him saying something to me a few months ago like, "If you read my texts, whatever you do DON'T go into my drafts folder. It's where I keep my list of gift ideas for you." And I haven't, because I know it's true.

The interesting thing about him is how trusting he is. He's like the perfect person when it comes to showing resiliency. He discovered his girlfriend was cheating on him with his best friend through their comments to each other on MySpace. Not messages, COMMENTS! Who knows what the hell they were messaging each other?! Most people would then be wary of the next social networking addict. But he's not. We're both very open about what we're doing. Anything we ask the other, we answer. Once I made a stupid drunken decision (something like, "HEYYY WE HAVE THE SAME PHONE LET'S EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERRRRS." I think. He might have asked me.) at a party with some douche, and when Steve asked who I was texting and I told him the story, he (rightfully, especially considering he's straight-edge and thinks drunk people are stupid) got angry with me. With no qualms I immediately texted the guy saying that we should no longer speak (he had been texting me a lot since the party, but only like one-word texts) because we had no reason to (which is true), and deleted the number out of my phone to show that I didn't mean any harm and it meant nothing to me. And all was well.

Now, I'm not perfect. I HAVE been snoopy before.

When I was with Dan, there was a serious lack of trust and we snooped on each other all the time (granted, we were together from the ages of 16-21, therefore started young). For me, I felt justified. I found lies everywhere I looked. One of the biggest lies was when I should have been smart and called it quits, but I'm a ninny. We were going to school four hours apart and he hadn't called me for a few days. I signed into his facebook to get a friend's phone number that he lived with, and being 18 and curious, I checked his messages. In there I found several between him and an ex, which hurt a lot because 1. He was NEVER close with his ex. They met in MEXICO on a mission trip, didn't live near each other, and didn't yet have licenses or cell phones and therefore rarely talked. 2. He went many stretches of time without any contact with me at all. The most recent one was dated the previous day, apologizing for not calling her back AFTER TALKING TO ME (when he'd always say he was tired and wanted to get off the phone, etc.). I confronted him; he outright lied about it, even after I told him I was staring directly at the message.

There were hints about him visiting her "again." When asked about this, he said she was referring to a long time ago and wanted to see him but he wouldn't. Of course, not believing him, I signed into MSN and started a conversation with her. To be fair, she sounded like she was only interested in hanging out and was totally open to talking to me, knowing who I was. What I learned from her was that he went to a different state to visit his friend and herself. That he drove like 6 hours to see them. When he couldn't be assed to even talk to me.

I was so mad that if he'd been present, I might have seriously scratched his eyes out. I was RAGING. We talked for like three hours as he tried to convince me to not break up with him. And eventually I relented. And then spent another 3 years of the same old shit. After we broke up but I continued to live with him for a time, a bunch more stuff I never knew about came trickling out of him. He thought it was funny, how much he lied to me.

I guess I have some issues after Dan, but I trust Steve. He's given me no reason to be suspicious of his behavior, so I treat him that way.