Writer's Block: Ice cream isn't cutting it

[spritechan]

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I think it really depends on how the break-up ended, and why. A dumper can be just as heartbroken as a dumpee in some cases. More often than not though, by the time a break-up happens, one person has already moved at least partially away from the relationship.

Personally, whether I've been the dumper or dumpee, I've never made a conscious decision to "stay single" or "date." It just happens if it happens! Which means, more often than not, I met a lot of people, guys and girls. If you're still in love with the person, in a way that means you are still hoping to get back together with them, you probably shouldn't date. You only look like an ass to people who try to date you. In that case, you should work toward coming to terms with those feelings and decide whether to move on or reconcile. If you've accepted the break up and plan to move on, I've found that moving on is easier when there's someone there (helloooo rebound!).

My ex refuses to have a rebound (or date, apparently), and we've been broken up over a year and a half (after having dated 5 years). He is unhappy, lonely, and holding onto the past. He's almost 24! He thinks his love life is over. Whereas I had a month-long rebound, and then moved on to a serious relationship (been together since May 2009), and I couldn't be happier.

So... which way is better?

Comments

[silver-tiamat.livejournal.com]

Yeah--my understanding of a rebound is that person that you're just using to put another body between you and your ex. And hey, I can't say anything against it really. Sometimes what you really need is just that person that you kinda dig (but know you don't want permanently) that you can date long enough so that the last person you dated wasn't the ex that really fucked you up.

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA DUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!)

I really don't understand what the big issue amongst folk who date but won't date someone if it "won't last." Psh. Who cares? You can't know if something will last, no matter what you think. Even if you think you can get along for the next 100 years, it means diddly squat if they're killed in an accident after three weeks. You may not be able to keep anyone that you want, for one reason or another. So, why not enjoy the people you can, when you can? And when it's over...well. Move along.

But maybe that's my inner free love raw food vegan environmentalist hippie talking.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

So true! It's like you need a fun "date break" where the relationship is lighthearted. Bryce and I got pretty deep sometimes, but it has since been proved that's just something we can do. For the most part, though, it was just silly fun. I wrote this in my "secret" journal (aka sex journal/hide things from snoopy Dan journal), like the day after I met him, "I love new things. Oh so much. But as I've told the girls, I don't expect us to start like dating or anything - in an exclusive and/or serious kind of way, because he's probably really melodramatic in real life and just too much for me to handle. But! I'm judging before I know, and I'm determined to just have fun. He also invited me to do fun things with him and his friends this weekend :)"

I was right, by the way. About being a melodramatic girl. Hoooooly crap.

I wish I could take credit for DUA, but Bethany invented it a couple years ago. Our whole family uses it baahahaha.

[vixenofflames.livejournal.com]

Oh and the best part about DUA is that Bethany doesn't discriminate - that is, it can also be used in the positive. We were texting about our aunt, and how she's like in love with our uncle's (her brother's) new GF - "Oh yeah Connie has a MAJOR DUA about Alli. Probably because she's pregnant and not Tracy." XD