Oh, it was Valentine's Day?

I had a pretty awful day yesterday and ended up spending almost the entirety of the day at the vet and then the emergency clinic, and most of the time spent inbetween was through moping and sleeping.

Grimmy got blocked up again, and acted the same as last time: tried to pee, sat on the floor, meowed mournfully and gave me reproachful looks. When they looked at him they said he was worse than last time and they'd want to leave the catheter in for a few days. Money spent: $310. Then they recommended taking him to a 24-hour clinic nearby so he can be monitored at all times. What I didn't know was that this place is actually where the kings of the world visit when they want to stay at a hotel. The bill range for keeping Grim there? $1300 to $2500. Soooo... since the 5th I have spent a minimum of $2500 on this.

Now, money is just money. Grim is far more important to me than any money. HOWEVER. Vets here don't allow payment plans. They require everything up-front RIGHT NOW. So for people like me who make around $1000 every two weeks, it's going to hurt. People wonder why our society views pets as disposable. I would be sitting so pretty if I'd have just paid to put Grim down. And what happens if he gets sick AGAIN (which is, sadly, quite common) and I can't afford it? I couldn't even afford it NOW - the vet allowed me to open a $3000-limit credit line with a 27% interest rate if I don't pay it off quickly. I have enough if I use my credit cards and my entire savings, but I need to be able to pay my other bills and rent too. It's ridiculous and sad. 

Despite this bullshit, I still am steadfastly not going to give up on Grim. There is what's considered the "three strike rule" with his condition, and after the third blockage they recommend surgery. The surgery itself sounds horrific: they remove the most distal part of the penis and widen the opening, while creating a new urethra and bypass the old one. The issue again is: HOW MUCH DOES IT COST. Nowhere I've looked gives numbers, except for in Canada for $1200. Unfortunately, Canada is not the US and probably has better rates. Not to mention the healing process. I really, desperately hope it doesn't come to that.

I became very angry when I got an update from them. I didn't want them to do bloodwork, because last week it showed he was within normal ranges. I was told they "pretty much have to - no, they HAVE to." And, as I thought, it was FINE. I am a very aware parent, and I would not let him suffer. I mean, I was on constant alert, and he was still able to get some pee out, so I figured his kidneys were okay. And they are. And fuck you for taking my money. What I DID pay for that I didn't EXACTLY (on the outright) need to was to replace the catheter. They said that the one in him was very rigid and at risk for kinda making things worse with inflammation, so they "offered" to replace it with a softer one. In the call they said it was good I agreed because it was actually kinked and now he's more comfortable. Half the problem is that he's in pain and therefore his urinary sphincter closes as a reaction and prevents him from peeing. He needs to be comfortable in order to pee. It's a vicious cycle. Ugh.

Steve and I still went out to eat, a quiet lunch, and exchanged gifts (in a more subdued fashion than normal). I got him a tshirt with an adorable moogle on it and Epic Mickey (it was on sale on Amazon and I had a gift card), and he modeled, photoshopped, and framed an adorable inside cuteness. Instead of the big dango family, he made dangos with a danbo and made it the big danbo family using engrish and other cute phrases. It was adorable and great. I love homemade gifts. I also gave him a cute handmade card with Link and heart pieces and drew pictures and wrote all over it. Last year on our anniversary I bought him a card (my family is a family of Card Buyers) and he made me one that ended up being a billion times better, so I had to one-up him. Especially because he still makes fun of me for buying him a card ;)

He has been wonderful through all this. He wants to comfort me but I think I push him away, because a hug isn't going to fix my problems. Talking with him helps, and him being understanding about my need to feel these sad feelings and be depressed and sleep and sit on the floor of the shower and have a flat affect and appear cold is really helpful. He's there for me all the way, and I'm grateful for him.

Aaaanyway, I'm ridiculously depressed and mopey. Gonna eat some food and stare at the wall a lot wishing I could be home in bed. Keep Grim in your thoughts!

Oh, it was Valentine's Day?

I had a pretty awful day yesterday and ended up spending almost the entirety of the day at the vet and then the emergency clinic, and most of the time spent inbetween was through moping and sleeping.

Grimmy got blocked up again, and acted the same as last time: tried to pee, sat on the floor, meowed mournfully and gave me reproachful looks. When they looked at him they said he was worse than last time and they'd want to leave the catheter in for a few days. Money spent: $310. Then they recommended taking him to a 24-hour clinic nearby so he can be monitored at all times. What I didn't know was that this place is actually where the kings of the world visit when they want to stay at a hotel. The bill range for keeping Grim there? $1300 to $2500. Soooo... since the 5th I have spent a minimum of $2500 on this.

Now, money is just money. Grim is far more important to me than any money. HOWEVER. Vets here don't allow payment plans. They require everything up-front RIGHT NOW. So for people like me who make around $1000 every two weeks, it's going to hurt. People wonder why our society views pets as disposable. I would be sitting so pretty if I'd have just paid to put Grim down. And what happens if he gets sick AGAIN (which is, sadly, quite common) and I can't afford it? I couldn't even afford it NOW - the vet allowed me to open a $3000-limit credit line with a 27% interest rate if I don't pay it off quickly. I have enough if I use my credit cards and my entire savings, but I need to be able to pay my other bills and rent too. It's ridiculous and sad. 

Despite this bullshit, I still am steadfastly not going to give up on Grim. There is what's considered the "three strike rule" with his condition, and after the third blockage they recommend surgery. The surgery itself sounds horrific: they remove the most distal part of the penis and widen the opening, while creating a new urethra and bypass the old one. The issue again is: HOW MUCH DOES IT COST. Nowhere I've looked gives numbers, except for in Canada for $1200. Unfortunately, Canada is not the US and probably has better rates. Not to mention the healing process. I really, desperately hope it doesn't come to that.

I became very angry when I got an update from them. I didn't want them to do bloodwork, because last week it showed he was within normal ranges. I was told they "pretty much have to - no, they HAVE to." And, as I thought, it was FINE. I am a very aware parent, and I would not let him suffer. I mean, I was on constant alert, and he was still able to get some pee out, so I figured his kidneys were okay. And they are. And fuck you for taking my money. What I DID pay for that I didn't EXACTLY (on the outright) need to was to replace the catheter. They said that the one in him was very rigid and at risk for kinda making things worse with inflammation, so they "offered" to replace it with a softer one. In the call they said it was good I agreed because it was actually kinked and now he's more comfortable. Half the problem is that he's in pain and therefore his urinary sphincter closes as a reaction and prevents him from peeing. He needs to be comfortable in order to pee. It's a vicious cycle. Ugh.

Steve and I still went out to eat, a quiet lunch, and exchanged gifts (in a more subdued fashion than normal). I got him a tshirt with an adorable moogle on it and Epic Mickey (it was on sale on Amazon and I had a gift card), and he modeled, photoshopped, and framed an adorable inside cuteness. Instead of the big dango family, he made dangos with a danbo and made it the big danbo family using engrish and other cute phrases. It was adorable and great. I love homemade gifts. I also gave him a cute handmade card with Link and heart pieces and drew pictures and wrote all over it. Last year on our anniversary I bought him a card (my family is a family of Card Buyers) and he made me one that ended up being a billion times better, so I had to one-up him. Especially because he still makes fun of me for buying him a card ;)

He has been wonderful through all this. He wants to comfort me but I think I push him away, because a hug isn't going to fix my problems. Talking with him helps, and him being understanding about my need to feel these sad feelings and be depressed and sleep and sit on the floor of the shower and have a flat affect and appear cold is really helpful. He's there for me all the way, and I'm grateful for him.

Aaaanyway, I'm ridiculously depressed and mopey. Gonna eat some food and stare at the wall a lot wishing I could be home in bed. Keep Grim in your thoughts!

Zomg squee!

I FINALLY was able to figure out/take the time to/add Japanese keyboard typing on my computer! 三井～！I'm so happy I can't even tell you! To be fair, it looks like the Japanese editor is smart enough to realize I just wrote a nonsense word in hiragana (which I know fairly well, though I'm ridiculously frustrated because all the practice sites I can find, and even MyJapanese Coach for the DS, require romaji for practice/translation even though they all obviously insist to step away from it) and made it into katakana, which I don't know at all yet T_T So don't go thinking I'm good yet. At anything :P

My zest and desire for Japanese has come back, especially so when I heard chochajin PASSED THE N2~!!! YAYYYYY! Congrats again ;) It actually sparked when I was sitting at my desk looking at the tag from my Hello Kitty phone charm, and I realized that I had sounded out the hiragana without thinking and that it read HAROU KITEYU (or something, I can't remember what the last character was, but I planned on taking a picture of it. I think it was ゆ) XDDDDD OMG YES. So good. So funny. So great.

Another huge problem I have though is that I know basically no rules, no application, no words. Bleh!

Zomg squee!

I FINALLY was able to figure out/take the time to/add Japanese keyboard typing on my computer! 三井～！I'm so happy I can't even tell you! To be fair, it looks like the Japanese editor is smart enough to realize I just wrote a nonsense word in hiragana (which I know fairly well, though I'm ridiculously frustrated because all the practice sites I can find, and even MyJapanese Coach for the DS, require romaji for practice/translation even though they all obviously insist to step away from it) and made it into katakana, which I don't know at all yet T_T So don't go thinking I'm good yet. At anything :P

My zest and desire for Japanese has come back, especially so when I heard chochajin PASSED THE N2~!!! YAYYYYY! Congrats again ;) It actually sparked when I was sitting at my desk looking at the tag from my Hello Kitty phone charm, and I realized that I had sounded out the hiragana without thinking and that it read HAROU KITEYU (or something, I can't remember what the last character was, but I planned on taking a picture of it. I think it was ゆ) XDDDDD OMG YES. So good. So funny. So great.

Another huge problem I have though is that I know basically no rules, no application, no words. Bleh!

Kitty baby

Pathetic kitty with shaved arm XD

I can already tell the difference in him from the last time. This hospital ain't cheap (Bill was $1600), but they were worth their money. He was not grumpy or loopy when I brought him home, whereas from Banfield he was groggy and flipping out and didn't want to move. Grim has bright eyes and is affectionate. He's eating pretty well (though he still won't touch the wet stuff - what kind of cat is he?!) and drinking, and he's had TWO normal pees. They told me that him never peeing more than drops for the last week was really concerning, and meant that his blockage was likely not corrected the first time. GRR!!!

They also gave me antibiotics and muscle relaxers along with painkillers this time. He's only gone to the litterbox twice with YAY success, versus all last week when he was basically LIVING in there with very little success. Of course, I was reminded a million times that he can get messed up again ANY SECOND, but I'm crossing my fingers that he's going to be good eating the special food.

I found someone to cover me on short notice for tonight which helps A LOT, because otherwise I'd be spending every second at work being worried. Not to mention I haven't slept yet - I took a nap from 11:30am-1:30pm but was too tightly wound to sleep after I heard I could take him home today.

At the moment, life is great. <3

Kitty baby

Pathetic kitty with shaved arm XD

I can already tell the difference in him from the last time. This hospital ain't cheap (Bill was $1600), but they were worth their money. He was not grumpy or loopy when I brought him home, whereas from Banfield he was groggy and flipping out and didn't want to move. Grim has bright eyes and is affectionate. He's eating pretty well (though he still won't touch the wet stuff - what kind of cat is he?!) and drinking, and he's had TWO normal pees. They told me that him never peeing more than drops for the last week was really concerning, and meant that his blockage was likely not corrected the first time. GRR!!!

They also gave me antibiotics and muscle relaxers along with painkillers this time. He's only gone to the litterbox twice with YAY success, versus all last week when he was basically LIVING in there with very little success. Of course, I was reminded a million times that he can get messed up again ANY SECOND, but I'm crossing my fingers that he's going to be good eating the special food.

I found someone to cover me on short notice for tonight which helps A LOT, because otherwise I'd be spending every second at work being worried. Not to mention I haven't slept yet - I took a nap from 11:30am-1:30pm but was too tightly wound to sleep after I heard I could take him home today.

At the moment, life is great. <3