30-Day Challenge: Day 4
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spritechan
Day 04 - A picture of a habit you wish you didn’t have*
I wasn't really sure whether or not laziness constituted a "habit," but it's MY 30-day challenge and I'll do whatever I damn well please!! /high horse
I handle my laziness much in the same way that I handle my anxiety and waves of depression: Barely. I'm functioning juuuuust enough not to get myself into trouble. I still shower (usually - I've been so good this week, showering every day before leaving for work! I went at least 4 days last week without brushing my teeth D:), go to work (and get my work done), pay my bills, not kill my cats (aka feed them and tend to the litter boxes). I feel like I'm one step away from just living in my bed. I totally see that my anxiety and depression kiiiiiinda go hand in hand with my laziness, because I almost WOULD rather live off popcorn and spend all my time in bed watching Netflix and consider "social time" the time I spent on the internet. If I didn't have Steve, I'd be doing all these things AND sleep more than I do now, which is already nearly out of control. He provides the right amount of shame through teasing to make me feel guilty about it -
Please see this comic (oh, I KNOW you have, Athena) to understand exactly how I feel about how I run my life. It for real sums up how I am and fight not to be. Allie can afford to let her social anxiety control her for a few days and prevent her from going to the grocery store or replying to emails. She works from home, and she's not in school anymore. She has no reason to reaaaalllly leave her house. She and Duncan are engaged now, so I assume he's decided to be okay with all her little quirks and pick up the slack when needed. Steve understands depression less, but not in a way that really negatively affects me. He just feels bad for me and wishes he could fix it. He's a dear and does do things for me when I just CAN'T go out to the store, but there are other times where he kicks me in the ass and MAKES me. Both are good at different times. The trick for him is to know exactly when to and to not kick me in the ass, because the times it's NOT I get super mega rebellious and cranky and kinda throw a tantrum like a three-year-old, with maximum pouty whining.
Ah, I'm digressing into whining about my anxiety. I wish that I were more motivated to do things, or that I was a "morning" person, or that I could actually BEAT the video games I play. Instead of sleeping. And then whining about everything I didn't get done.
I wish I wouldn't get annoyed about things like GOING TO THE BATHROOM. It's a waste of my time and I'm laaaaazy! It's something I've done several times a day since before I even stored memories and yet I get angry when I have to take a few minutes out of my day to expel waste?! This is the epitome of my laziness. And I have soooo little self-discipline. Whoo-ee!
*DISCLAIMER: Please read this with a grain of salt/satirical tone/sense of humor. I am writing this in my dry, sarcastic way, which is impossible to describe over the interwebs. (@_@)v
I wasn't really sure whether or not laziness constituted a "habit," but it's MY 30-day challenge and I'll do whatever I damn well please!! /high horse
I handle my laziness much in the same way that I handle my anxiety and waves of depression: Barely. I'm functioning juuuuust enough not to get myself into trouble. I still shower (usually - I've been so good this week, showering every day before leaving for work! I went at least 4 days last week without brushing my teeth D:), go to work (and get my work done), pay my bills, not kill my cats (aka feed them and tend to the litter boxes). I feel like I'm one step away from just living in my bed. I totally see that my anxiety and depression kiiiiiinda go hand in hand with my laziness, because I almost WOULD rather live off popcorn and spend all my time in bed watching Netflix and consider "social time" the time I spent on the internet. If I didn't have Steve, I'd be doing all these things AND sleep more than I do now, which is already nearly out of control. He provides the right amount of shame through teasing to make me feel guilty about it -
Please see this comic (oh, I KNOW you have, Athena) to understand exactly how I feel about how I run my life. It for real sums up how I am and fight not to be. Allie can afford to let her social anxiety control her for a few days and prevent her from going to the grocery store or replying to emails. She works from home, and she's not in school anymore. She has no reason to reaaaalllly leave her house. She and Duncan are engaged now, so I assume he's decided to be okay with all her little quirks and pick up the slack when needed. Steve understands depression less, but not in a way that really negatively affects me. He just feels bad for me and wishes he could fix it. He's a dear and does do things for me when I just CAN'T go out to the store, but there are other times where he kicks me in the ass and MAKES me. Both are good at different times. The trick for him is to know exactly when to and to not kick me in the ass, because the times it's NOT I get super mega rebellious and cranky and kinda throw a tantrum like a three-year-old, with maximum pouty whining.
Ah, I'm digressing into whining about my anxiety. I wish that I were more motivated to do things, or that I was a "morning" person, or that I could actually BEAT the video games I play. Instead of sleeping. And then whining about everything I didn't get done.
I wish I wouldn't get annoyed about things like GOING TO THE BATHROOM. It's a waste of my time and I'm laaaaazy! It's something I've done several times a day since before I even stored memories and yet I get angry when I have to take a few minutes out of my day to expel waste?! This is the epitome of my laziness. And I have soooo little self-discipline. Whoo-ee!
*DISCLAIMER: Please read this with a grain of salt/satirical tone/sense of humor. I am writing this in my dry, sarcastic way, which is impossible to describe over the interwebs. (@_@)v
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-04 04:54 am (UTC)It revolutionized how I approached life. I stopped seeing the world and my life as passive things and decided that they were challenges to be conquered. It was then that I discovered something amazing; I will never run out of things to conquer.
That's not to say that I'm never lazy. In fact, I need to keep up constant momentum to keep from completely shutting down. I must have something to do at all times. So, I suppose I relate.
Here, try this: Pick a historical figure you've always been curious about and learn about them. I always glean confidence from learning about the personal lives of famous people. It's amazing how much people can accomplish past short comings. One of my personal favorites is Beatrix Potter.