It's the little things in life.

[spritechan]

-I was able to convince my parents to let me buy my 12-year-old brother August Halo: Reach. They're buying him XBox Live, and Mom wanted him to have the HP game. So, the rest of his friends are online playing Halo or CoD, and he gets to play Harry Potter, yayyyy! Paul wasn't really hard to convince, really. But I hope he's happy with it (he wants Assassin's Creed more, but no).

-Lunch with Paul was fast, and actually really nice. I can honestly say I didn't expect to feel that at ease.

-Bethany called me to worry about apartment stuff and gossip about someone we both know. Her saying things like, "Sorry I'm talking so much I need to tell someone/I have no one to talk to" is adorable. She of course has her bf Tony and her bff Sarah, but I think that they're not enough to talk to sometimes. And Mom's busy. So me! Default win.

-Steve. He's just... the best.

-Emails from Suzi are always a treat, even if they are inconsistent :)

Comments

[silver-tiamat.livejournal.com]

Aw, conformity to one's peers is so...depressing as a reason to get someone something. =( But, then again, if you aren't going to encourage and reward someone for having different values than their peers, and their peers WILL reward them if they conform, what's the incentive to play Harry Potter when you could play Halo? However, I also think that something like that, buying someone a console and a game to play on it, ties into the concept of gratitude as much as adhering to social pressure norms. I mean, instead of thinking, all right, my parents bought me an XBOX and a game! It'll be, "Where's the game I wanted that all my friends are playing?"

I just don't think that buying something for a kid like that, especially so that they can conform to their peers' social ideals like violent games, is necessarily the best way to deal with a child's wants and desires. I think it would have been better to force him to save up his money to buy his own games, and just provide the console, personally.

But, in the end, it's not like he's YOUR kid to raise so...=/

[miss-ljv.livejournal.com]

Don't misunderstand - he wants ALL the bro games - CoD, Assassin's Creed, Red Dead Redemption, and Halo. He WANTS them. He also wants Harry Potter. He's 12, so he can't buy ANY of those games except Harry Potter because they are rated M. I figured he could save for the HP game, and since my mom doesn't want to buy him a rated M game, his cool sister can. It has nothing to do with conforming and everything to do with not being left out (but wanting to play too). I experienced this a good amount as a child when my parents couldn't afford a lot of things my friends had. He also wants an airsoft gun (which ain't gonna happen). He has an Xbox (as well as a PSP and DS Lite), just not Xbox live as it's $50 and he's young. He'd be happy about the Xbox live, but wouldn't really have anything to do with it if he doesn't have any games he can play online with friends - that's where I come in with my game.

What must also be remembered here is that maybe HE's the one expecting his FRIENDS to conform. Who knows, really? He's popular and influential in his friends group, but he's not aggressive. While I don't find it likely, I DO know he likes games like Wrestling, NFL Blitz, etc. (my parents experienced issues when he started acting aggressively verbally after playing too much blitz, which is why my mom was naysaying a new game. I personally think he knows better now).

[silver-tiamat.livejournal.com]

Look, I'm one of the first people to say that we coddle our children a bit too much, particularly in exposing them to the reality of death, disease, heartache, etc. But, violence is one of those things that needs to be controlled when it comes to young children. Sparing, brawling, etc in real life are fine--they teach you that when you hurt someone it HURTS YOU. But, a video game where you shoot to kill people, not monsters but PEOPLE, is something that does warp your mind a bit, especially as a child who hasn't come to fully comprehend that every person who he shoots is a person just like him.

Not wanting to be left out is a huge part of conforming. You don't want to be left out, so you adopt the values and wishes of the people around you. I just really feel that helping a child do and become like his peers when its something like a violent game that he couldn't even buy on his own because he is too young is about on par with helping to buy your 16-year-old daughter alcohol so she can fit in better with her peers who thinking that partying at frat houses and getting very drunk is a good way to pass weekends and vacations.

And if he was the one helping to pressure his peers to conform, then it would be even more important to get him to see an alternative, because he could help influence an entire group of male children to stop holding those games on such a pedastal.

We both know I'm a gamer, and that I grew up with brothers who I wrestled with on practically a daily basis, so I understand wanting to play certain games and having violent tendencies...but I just don't think that a child who only knows the virtual version of violence should be allowed to play a violent game. If you want to play a game where people beat each other up, then you should spend some time actually sparring with someone and realizing how much it really HURTS to fight. Otherwise, I don't know how they're going to make that leap of empathy of "the person I shoot, kill, punch, etc feels pain, like I feel pain" until it's much too late, if at all.

[miss-ljv.livejournal.com]

I definitely don't take games that seriously. There are many, many healthy, well-adjusted adults who played violent games as children. I think you're mistaking how developed 12-year-olds are. He's not one of those 6-year-olds you hear about on the news who got a gun and shot their friend and didn't understand what death was. Comparing video games to alcohol is ridiculous, because video games can't kill you, and it's not illegal to own an M-rated game if you're under 17. The whole idea of the rating system isn't to prevent children of a certain age to play the game, it's to allow parents the decision as to whether to allow their children to play those games. There are plenty of movies that are PG-13 that are incredibly violent, they just don't happen to show blood - and kids watch them every day without turning into ravenous murderers.

There's a line between peer pressure and just playing a game because you want to. Not everything one does with friends is based off of peer pressuring and fads. Halo: Reach has sold 3.3 million copies across all age demographics, making it the third highest selling game for the XBox 360. You need to understand that there is a clearly definable difference between something that is just a fad, and something that is simply a medium for entertainment that's not going anywhere. Especially with the increase in games like Halo with online play and DLC, they're bound to be around for a long time. Call of Duty: Black Ops is more like the fad you speak of, as it's the most recent FPS to be released, and it is more violent than Halo. In Halo you are killing aliens. Granted, yes, when you are playing online, sometimes you will be shooting humans, but 9 times out of 10, those people are going to be controlled by your friends (with whom you are likely to be speaking to on a headset), and you will be aware that shooting them will kill their character, but you will ALSO know that you did not actually kill your friends. I'm trying to think back into my childhood, playing games like MK and Contra, Double Dragon... I never once confused it with the way things were in real life. I honestly don't think the majority of children (especially preteens and up, which is the age group to which you are referring) think that's how it really is, or they have some sort of warped view of violence and pain. I certainly don't, and none of my peers do either (and they ALSO played all these games as children, and probably many more violent ones than I did).

To add to that point, I find it unnecessary for a 12-year-old to have to "learn a lesson" that IRL, that punch would hurt!! I understand the point of learning interactive and constructive ways to understand violence, but it's also then bringing up the issue of teaching kids when violence is okay. I don't think that real violence and video game violence are inherently connected. Video games are a non-violent way to vent aggression, and anecdotally I know a number of adults who think that video games are a healthy way for them to get out frustrations and stress, versus actually punching a person out. My brother DOES know real violence. He plays (tackle) football and baseball, both of which you are likely to get hurt in. Even if he didn't play sports though, he would understand violence. Young children, once they learn the concept of death, tend to ask many, MANY questions about it, around the ages of 7-9. He was no different. He understands what hurts. But he also knows the difference between play (video games) and reality.

Edited for grammar.