Random tidbits

[spritechan]

If only I wasn't tied to a man who desperately loves his family and friends. I would so, SO teach English overseas. At least for awhile. Probably in South Korea. But if I was alone, I'd be horrendously lonely. Suzi is teaching in Thailand right now, and taught in India prior to that. Jared didn't go with her to India (they hadn't been dating too long at the time that she left, but he DID visit!), but he did for Thailand. Max jelly. I feel like it'd be the easiest way to cheater-get-experience without actually having a degree. JFC I don't want to get another degree. I want experience to mean more.

Also, I finally decided that I need to work toward accepting that I am simply Chibi, and will always be chibi, and will not be skinny and flat. I AM CHIBI AND CHIBI IS CUTE. I love chibi characters so I should also love myself. Steve was all for this idea and told me in no  uncertain terms how attractive he finds me and always has. ;)

But I still need to work on my arms. It's very infuriating that spot training is so difficult, because I NEED not-flabby and fat arms. That's all I want. Pleeeeeaaaaaassssseeee! Seriously, been doing personal training since August with a fair amount of effort put on the arms, and there has been NO CHANGE to their size. Ugh. Bleh.

Comments

[silver-tiamat.livejournal.com]

I have a similar problem--I'm with a man who is SO successful at his job, that doing something like pulling up the stakes for a year for me to go do something like teach abroad would be wildly irresponsible and selfish. Though, he still thinks it's something that we'll be able to do sometime in the future, even with kids (after all, a year abroad is a good experience for American kids, who are taught ethnocentricism like it's a religion). It just may have to come when we've saved up enough that him taking a year off won't kill us, or having enough connections to take a temporary position in a branch of a company or something. I think maybe you'll find that you'll have a similar time in your life, even if it's not now. Though, I think we both agree that even waiting several years holding random jobs would be better than going back for another degree right now.

I've had to go through that whole acceptance phase as well. Two things that helped was also looking into the systematic way our culture undermines female self-esteem (anger is always a good motivator to rebel against an idea), and having someone seem to genuinely find me attractive. I mean, you can argue until the cows come home about how the rest of America thinks you're over weight or too chubby or not fit enough....but, it seems almost ridiculous when you have to admit that your goal really isn't to attract America (or even, haha, yourself), but to attract someone you love. So, when you have that....it seems sort of silly to insist that you aren't attractive.

As for the progress...technically, you haven't even been at your personal training long enough to have produced a baby. =/ I say, give it at least that much time before you feel like you've been at it a long time. And even then, try also to think of it in terms of relativity--you've spent a lot more time NOT working on your arms than you have working on them. This was how I had to think when I was working on my "back fat" a few years ago. It took a long time--a full year--before I started to show actual progress of toning. And I NEVER got to where I wanted to be, because I stopped putting so much effort into it. =( But! I still think you should keep with it. My mom had flabby arms for most of her life until she had kids, then she grew "man arms." XD Apparently, regularly hauling 40-60lbs around gives you great toning.