43//My first full day off is a sick day

So we went to bed around 9:40, and I woke up several times with such bad reflux that I basically was vomiting in my mouth/choking/coughing. If that wasn’t bad enough, at 3am I woke up so cold and couldn’t get warm. I was shivering so much and asked Steve to cuddle me. My joints (fingers, knees, elbows) hurt so badly that I started to cry when Steve held me. He was not warm like I was hoping; he felt cold too. He of course told me that I was burning up and broke into a sweat immediately upon touching my skin. Eventually he went and got me another blanket for myself and gave me some NyQuil, as he had to get up in a couple hours. As I lay there waiting for the meds to kick in, I thought about how when Haley is sick, she just tolerates it. She never puts medication, even OTCs, into her body unless she absolutely must (and the only thing I can think of over the last 5 years was when she got her first UTI and waited until it was a kidney infection to prove to herself it wasn’t going away). I was grateful I don’t have a mental illness that makes me suffer like she does. Eventually the NyQuil started to work and my pain subsided enough for me to fall asleep.

I woke up 13 hours later, well-timed to a concerned text from Steve about whether I was alive or not. I was much better, my fever broke at some point, and my joints were still tender but not super terrible. But I had to spend the day in basically a hangover state, all gingerly moving about and taking it easy.

Haley came over to get a shirt she left over at my place and we laid outside for awhile until it suddenly started to rain. We talked about how I value people who have passion about things and hobbies and interests, and Haley values people who... have passion about their personality? It was really hard for her to put into words and I kind of feel like I know what she’s getting at. The difference I guess is that I think if people have no hobbies or passions, they’re kind of empty and boring, and she feels the opposite - that you’re “deeper” if you are interested only in other people and getting hype from simply being around them, and that if your life is a hobby you have less substance to YOU as a person. It’s actually a very interesting way to look at two opposing perspectives.

Personally I can’t imagine how boring and frustrating life would be if you had to rely on others to entertain you or make you feel fulfilled. You’d experience so much disappointment when everyone fell short of your high expectations and demands. I love having hobbies and sharing in the passion for them. She particularly asked a lot about Ben and Sean and why we like them, because they’re the quintessential “normal” people that Haley wants nothing to do with. It was so hard to explain the good vibes that I get from them, and how we share hobbies but also are different in a lot of ways, and how much I appreciate the way Ben talks about both things he loves and things he hates, and how Sean is observant, responsive, and independent in her own ways and has hobbies that overlap with Ben’s but she also has her own interests too that are unique and cool.

Soon after she left, Steve got home and left again to trade in his PS4 for a PS4 pro, and I showered and got ready for dinner. Soon after, Scott and Nick showed up and we met Courtney, Joe Waid, his girlfriend Megan and Quimby at India Palace. The place was packed and I learned that Courtney always calls ahead, when Steve and I have never done that. They were able to seat us in a weird spot in just a few minutes. The food was delicious as always, though I ate very little because I was still feeling a bit weird. I was pretty quiet, as was most of the group, most of the time. It’s like everyone was having a tired adult day.

After India Palace a few of us walked over to Starbucks for drinks and then headed back to our place. Steve’s plans for his birthday were to play Hidden Agenda, a game developed by the same people who made Until Dawn and played very similarly. Until Dawn is an amazing survival horror game that I insist you find a way to play, because it is SO GOOD. Choices affect outcomes and story. Hidden Agenda can be played as a story or as competitive between people. The group chose competitive, and each chapter in the story, someone random would get a “hidden agenda” to try to make something happen (or not). These events impacted parts of the story, and everyone got to vote between two choices during parts of conversations or scenes. Most choices were majority vote but some were “everyone has to agree” choices.

In the end, the group got a bad ending, but our suspicion over who the identity of the killer was confirmed, and now I want to play through the story to see how my decisions alone would shape the narrative. I LOVE these kinds of games, “choose your own adventure” for the modern day.

It was after midnight when the game ended, and Joe waid and Megan had left around 11, but he texted me asking for updates when the game was over, haha.

Bedtime and Kripp! Tomorrow is Larvitar day in Pokémon Go... and also about 50 million other things we’re doing.