Reflection on 2017 and looking forward to 2018

( Goals of 2017 Reflection )

In terms of my goals and successes, 2017 was a weird year. I think I was more selfish than I should have been, but it felt so good to focus on myself. I did so many things that I wanted to do and didn't feel guilty about them. I kind of want to roll with this but in a healthier way. 2017 was the Year of Action, and I *was* active. I DID a lot of things. I am happy that I did.

When I think about 2018, I want to MAKE. I want to ACCOMPLISH. I want to CULTIVATE and INNOVATE and have tangible or visible results. This all leads me to:

2018, The Year of Creating:

I will create and maintain a space that makes me feel satisfied, comfortable and happy. [HOUSE]

• This looks like continually evaluating my surroundings and getting rid of things that don't bring me joy. We have already done one sweep of the house and reduced our THINGS by a significant margin, but I would like to minimize even more.


• This also looks like stopping letting the need to clean get out of control. It's amazing how two people can make the house look so shitty in a manner of days, when it's really not much work to clean up as we go.


• Finally, this looks like obtaining the items I need to make the house satisfactory and fixing up where I can (within our budget).


• Create space in our budget by adhering to the limits that Steve and I have set  - not overspending, and utilizing the categories available to me. Pre-planning as much as I can with things like trips. Steve's

I will create and develop a body and lifestyle that I feel more content with. [ME]

• This looks like finding and continuing a good routine with movement. I play ITG regularly and have begun a kickboxing program with my sister. I want to fit yoga into this to create my best self.


• This also looks like being even more consistent with my eating. I have been gentle with myself as I figure out what my body needs to consume, what it craves. However, I have also consumed foods that I didn't want or need simply because they were easy. I need to be more deliberate and firm with my food boundaries because that's what makes me happy. Getting Steve to participate helps the relationship and makes us feel better as a whole.

I will continue to make improvements in ITG and become a stronger player. [HOBBY]

• I have made a ridiculous amount of progress over the past year, and especially so from June onward. I feel good about how far I've come, and I want to keep up that momentum. I have specific goals on my Groovestats.

I will foster stronger relationships with people in my life who matter to me. [RELATIONSHIPS]

• I really focused on myself this year - arguably one of the most selfish years for me on record. I'm not sorry for it, but there are relationships that matter to me and I have hurt some people's feelings because I choose me and being alone over everyone else. I want to develop a more balanced relationship dynamic - ie. not dedicate all of my "battery time" to Haley/snapchat. I have already taken steps to making this happen, such as not always feeling like I need to watch snaps immediately.


• I think another thing I need to do is find a balance between not doing things I don't want to do and feeling like EVERY event is a burden. Because I almost always end up having fun. And like, sometimes I DO feel sad when I see people having fun without me - like Tealie, Anne, Courtnie and Preston got REALLY wasted at a club over this winter break and accidentally sent snaps to our school snapchat group and they looked like they were having the BEST time, and I was legitimately sad I wasn't invited, even though tbh I probably wouldn't have gone. It's been literally -15*F (-26*C) for a week with windchills at aroud -25 (-32) and I don't ever want to leave the house. And yet Anne invited us to a brunch tomorrow and I REALLY don't want to go, because it's my last day before school starts again. I'm probably going to go and have fun, but right now it sounds like a huge chore.


• I want to continue to improve my relationship with Steve by being a more active partner. Things have been GREAT with us having this week off together. Again, our relationship is truly always good, but I want to continue to be more proactive and dynamic and loving. I spent most of the last few years abhorring the idea of marriage, but for the past few months I've been like, "Okay, he can propose to me if he wants, that's okay with me. We can have whatever length engagement we want." I'm still completely dreading the idea of a wedding, but I currently don't mind the idea of being married to him. I still don't know why I'm so freaked about marriage when we've been together for more than 8 and a half years and have lived together for 8 of them. Like, we're married in everything but legality and have been for some time. We jointly own a house. But the other day a mutual friend Jason commented on a pic of us and said, "My buddy and his bad ass wifey!!" and that made me surprisingly warm inside. And Steve's been calling me his "waifu" way more often, and I feel like he says that to express the sentiment but soften the vulnerability, ya know? People mistakenly call Steve my husband with increasing frequency (oh NO WE'RE SO OLD) and I've never corrected anyone because I don't care about that so....

I will create more. [HOBBY]

• I got really into knitting more this year, and I want to complete more projects and curate more yarn that feeds my soul. Specifically I want to make more socks, washcloths, hats and scarves. I made Nick a scarf this year and next year is probably Scott's year. I'm working on one for Steve lowkey as well.


• I want to crochet a bigger and better afghan this year. One that I will continually use. I may look into knitting one too, but knitting takes so much longer, so crochet is just so much more realistic.


• I would like to knit every single day, even if it's just for a half hour.