A Heart's a Heavy Burden

I've started looking into Master's of Special Education options. It came about quite coincidentally. Steve and I have begun taking nightly walks again, mostly to unwind and talk. Oftentimes we end up talking about Dream Life, or What We'd Like to Do in the Future, or I Wish I Had a Special Interest or Niche. Stuff like that. Recently we were talking about if I were to go back to school for some sort of Master's program, and what I might actually do with my life. We talk about our mutual disinterest in every job ever, and what we could try to do to fix it. Steve would love to be a Forever Student because he loves school. I love learning and being able to apply the knowledge, but hate going to school. And when we talked about IF I went back to school, I came to the conclusion I would probably focus on special education. I don't even really have a because other than, "I didn't hate it or get burned out on it exactly and it translates to lots of jobs and would prove I am smart in the field according to my piece of paper."

Then, on Wednesday my director NaTasha walked in and said, "Are you interested in a Master's degree? I get a ton of these all the time." Despite my conversation with Steve, I said I didn't know what I would go back for. She handed me the paper and lo and behold, there is a new addition to Concordia's Master's program in Special ed with an option for LD and EBD licensure. And is entirely online, with one course completed every seven weeks. It's like tailored to me. I did amazing in any online course I was in because I worked at my own pace and was never required to leave my bed, which is a serious motivational thing for me. I emailed for information but also asked NaTasha if I could leave early one day this month to attend an informational meeting, which she was wishy-washy about.

In other news, I still definitely hate babies. A lot. The toddler room has actually improved and I'm in there over half of each day now, which is fine.

So, I went to UPS to get my package. They couldn't find it. For over an hour. This super nice guy was trying to find it for me, and had a really good attitude about it. When he came out after the first 45 minutes, he was like, "I'm so sorry, I can't find it, but I WILL!!!" and I was like, "This has just been a nightmare for me, I've been trying to get this package since the 23rd :/" and he was like, "OMG I WILL GET IT FOR YOU" *dons super hero outfit and flies back into the abyss*

He DID finally find it, and he came out looking SUPER triumphant. He asked me what the problem had been for the last week, and I explained it.

"Oh god, that sounds horrible! Well, I almost started CRYING back there because I couldn't find it! This package was REALLY hard to locate."

I told him that part of me thought it was gone forever, or that it had never existed in the first place XD It was a really long package, like twice the length of a board game box. I even opened it in the car to make sure it was the package I thought it was. I was SO relieved, and everyone was super nice about it.

I was so exhausted when I got home. I ate my leftover Chipotle (I had run out and gotten Steve and myself Chipotle during my lunch break) and then kinda just crashed with him... at 8pm XD I slept pretty well all night. I LOVE getting all the jooshy sleep.

I don't feel like doing my 30-day thingy today. Will resume tomorrow

I've been in a rut lately, and it's the annoying kind of rut. Not the kind where I just sleep all the time, but the kind where things irritate me more easily than normal, and I'm snappish. I don't like it. I'm also back to 130 pounds D: I feel gross and all my pants are tight and everything is just frowny.

But! Good news? I GOT THAT JOBBBBB. Woo. I'd be far more ZOMG YES SQUEE BEST THING EVAR if I wasn't so pants-shitting nervous about all the responsibility I accepted, and my selfish crybabying about Steve and I going back to opposite schedules. That means only two more weeks of cleaning and sitting around doing nothing though! I really can't wait. Mom was very insistent on letting me know how Paul was all gushing to her about it, which was cute. My auntie Connie also sent me a bunch of kind words and good vibes via Facebook because her phone won't text me (lol, or her daughter. Two of the people she texts most!). I love her to death! She's the best.

The job has 18 days of vacation time, 9 holidays off, I'm salaried (at least they gave me the impression that I am), and they offered me the highest pay they could. Looking at statistics online, it would appear that I make around the 77th percentile for a Case Manager. Which is likely true, because I passed up a LOT of great-looking jobs based on the fact that they pay equal to or even often LESS than what I make as a glorified janitor. Sooo... woo! A few thousand more dollars per year won't hurt me, and I think I got lucky because I have a variety of experience but very little targeted experience, and basically NO experience in making connections with resources (ahhhhh!). Like I said, 9 times out of 10, if I get the interview, I get the job.

INTERJECTION RANT: Skateville hasn't returned my calls and I haven't gotten my amended tax form (it's been a month), so I STILL can't file for my tax return yet  >:[

/rant

This weekend we went to my sister's new place. It's really nice. Three-bedroom, shared with her best friend (and her boyfriend and her son) and her own family. The boys share a room, Sarah and Chris get a room, and Bethany and Tony get the biggest room. Sarah and Chris's bed is exactly what Steve and I are probably going to get (framewise, I already have the bed itself).  Here's kinda what we're looking for, but much less swanky. I LOVE the style of bed where the mattress is recessed into the frame. It's cute and compact, and prevents the cats from climbing under the bed. Sarah said they got theirs from Ikea (and that it was pretty cheap), but Ikea's website is complete crap so I can't show you.

It was Sarah's boy Tristan's birthday, so it was a good excuse to check out the new digs and get free homemade egg rolls from Chris's mom, Summai. XD She makes like a billion egg rolls for every huge occasion and they are YUMMY. Tony said he was interested in seeing OUR place. I assured him we went the money-saving route and our apartment is not nearly as nice-looking as theirs. Because it's not. It's gonna be cute!

At 10am Steve and I are signing our lease!!! SOOOO excited for that. I have all these plans for food and spices and jars to store things in instead of plastic baggies and painting and book shelves and game shelves and the cat tower! Oh, so excited. Speaking of the cats, I've switched them AGAIN foodwise. I discovered that Nero just licks the juice from the wet food and leaves the rest to get crumbly and dry, and Grim still prefers the dry food overall. So! I spent like a half hour at the store, reading ALL the labels on the dry food, and finally selected a food that had gross things like corn meal or brewer's rice as far down in the ingredients as I could get without breaking the bank. I can't remember what brand it was, probably PurinaOne, but it was a special type that only comes in smaller bags and has turkey as its first ingredient, and some other meat as the second. I was going to completely wean them over a week, but Grim went crazy immediately for it and is actually AVOIDING the food he's been so set on for the last... his whole life! Yay!

I opened an ArtFire account. Only the basic account until I see if my items sell. I only have two things up on there right now, just experiments I made yesterday. You can check them out here. They're not anything great, but I wanted to at least get SOMETHING up on there. I'm starting a pillow tonight, my first attempt at double knitting (not to be confused with duplicate stitch)! Yayyyy knitting! Yay being crafty!

Okay, must stop futzing on computer. O_O

Lately I've been having weird vivid dreams! Some that are really long and some that are really short.

I remember dreaming in cartoon the other week, but I can't remember what show it was! I think it might have been Higurashi.

The other week I had a weird dream about me and Steve and Sally all riding together from somewhere. I was trying to be nice to Sally and so I was laughing all politely at everything she said and I had on my huge "I am totally interested in what you have to say" smile. I was uncomfortable being in the same car with them and thought it was so weird she wanted to be friends. WEEEIIIIRRRDDD. I've never even met her. But Andy is now trying to be friends with Steve so I get to tease him about it a lot :P

I dreamed the other night about being in an ambulance with a girl I've never met but have heard of because she's linked to several people I know (Kristen) so my mind couldn't decide if she looked like Generic Blond Skank or Kinda Chubby And Awkward, and she was dating Andy instead of Sally, and the paramedic knew how all of us were linked to each other?

And today I had an extremely long dream after Steve left for work where I was... Batman? Like, I was wearing an outift and chasing bad guys down with a glider that had a very sharp pointy front and it kept chopping people in half. But when I talked I sounded like me, and I had my own thoughts. I flew around A LOT on my glider because it wasn't an exact science so I had to redirect myself and stuff. After I killed this douchey fat guy that was really pissing me off (it was hard to do!), I had to go chase down the Joker. He was pretty much just a real-life version of the one in the animated series and some of the comics - skinny, but maybe a bit scrawnier than in cartoon form, evil, great (although Heath Ledger's Joker gets me too). I had to try several sneaky ways to catch him off guard, and in the end I wasn't able to sneak up on him with my glider, which was good anyway because even though I was sort of Batman, I also still found him incredibly hot. And when we had our actual confrontation in this weird rundown warehouse, I guess he doesn't like his own blood so I threatened him by cutting his face or neck with a razor blade. We were in this interesting grip where I couldn't tell if he was restraining me or I was restraining him (and I definitely was no longer Batman). And then I got real close to him slowly and kissed the corner of his mouth and told him that I loved him. Then for some reason I let him walk away from me, and as he sauntered away he turned around and said with a sexy smirk, "Maybe a little." which to my mind meant that he loved me too. But I only had time to dwell while gliding because I had to quick free some kids he trapped in a mine shaft. It was great. And I may have an unhealthy crush on the Joker.