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Yesterday Steve and I had what probably looked like the strangest banter, but it's so us and felt so good.
We were talking about a related topic, but I lightly brought up the "I feel like you gave me an ultimatum about moving and not wanting to leave your friends" situation mentioned a few entries ago. He clarified:
But the point of the post is that Noah messaged me lamenting that he finally met a girl he vibed with, and then she told him after their first "real" conversation that she was poly and in 2 serious relationships. Noah has not had ANY relationship or any of the etc. other than some kissing. He said he knows in his heart that he couldn't do poly, and they agreed not to pursue anything. Noah, while talking to me about it, said that he "felt stupid for feeling special but how could he be special if she already is with two other guys" and again my mind was blown re: monogamists because that's exactly the rationale Steve gave!!!! So I brought up my confusions to Steve.
Which led to a REALLY enjoyable silly banter for like an hour, where we talked in jokes and metaphors about poly and monogamy and cheating and cowardice and TV show portrayals of relationships and it really just feels good to be able to openly talk about our situation without it being a threat or feeling like it's opening a can of worms.
What happened in our relationship is not treated like a bomb about to go off or like if we give it any attention, we'll get sucked into that black hole again. I wish I could remember ANYTHING we said to each other, because it was all hilarious, but I suspect no individual statement would have nearly the same impact as the entire strings of phrases we tossed back and forth. I keep trying to type examples, like at one point he said I should just call every guy Steve because men are interchangeable blurs to me, and it makes no sense and is NOT funny to the layperson (and in fact, would be alarming fighting words in a different context). Just trust me that I was completely tickled the whole time. And so was he.
He just makes me very happy.
We were talking about a related topic, but I lightly brought up the "I feel like you gave me an ultimatum about moving and not wanting to leave your friends" situation mentioned a few entries ago. He clarified:
- He says he meant the whole "I need to play in the hay and sleep with other people while living abroad" and
- If I suddenly decided WE need to move across the country IMMEDIATELY he would work with me on it if I really absolutely was sure, and reiterated that I definitely mean enough to him to not stubbornly stay here
But the point of the post is that Noah messaged me lamenting that he finally met a girl he vibed with, and then she told him after their first "real" conversation that she was poly and in 2 serious relationships. Noah has not had ANY relationship or any of the etc. other than some kissing. He said he knows in his heart that he couldn't do poly, and they agreed not to pursue anything. Noah, while talking to me about it, said that he "felt stupid for feeling special but how could he be special if she already is with two other guys" and again my mind was blown re: monogamists because that's exactly the rationale Steve gave!!!! So I brought up my confusions to Steve.
Which led to a REALLY enjoyable silly banter for like an hour, where we talked in jokes and metaphors about poly and monogamy and cheating and cowardice and TV show portrayals of relationships and it really just feels good to be able to openly talk about our situation without it being a threat or feeling like it's opening a can of worms.
What happened in our relationship is not treated like a bomb about to go off or like if we give it any attention, we'll get sucked into that black hole again. I wish I could remember ANYTHING we said to each other, because it was all hilarious, but I suspect no individual statement would have nearly the same impact as the entire strings of phrases we tossed back and forth. I keep trying to type examples, like at one point he said I should just call every guy Steve because men are interchangeable blurs to me, and it makes no sense and is NOT funny to the layperson (and in fact, would be alarming fighting words in a different context). Just trust me that I was completely tickled the whole time. And so was he.
He just makes me very happy.
