spritechan | Writer's Block: Happy New Year! (Reply)

[Error: unknown template qotd]Okay, it took me WAY too long to find my post from last year regarding resolutions. Damn you Writer's Block and posting at the end of 2010!!!!

HEALTH: I need to work at my weight again. I've ballooned back up to 130+. I need to make healthier meals again. The reason I've been able to stay in the lower 120's the past year and a half was when I was basically starving myself. It's not healthy, and even though I know it works for the moment, the second I start eating, my body packs on the pounds. I have a slow metabolism anyway. I've started making yummy healthy lunches and watching my portions. I also plan on exercising more (I say "plan" because I use DDR in winter for exercise, and I'm waiting on one of the step plates to come in - Steve cracked one and we're afraid of damaging the delicate interior, so we ordered another). My goal for the summer is to get outside and put my new step-ups to good use, vs. sleeping all day.

My weight and being healthy was a struggle this year. I had a period of eating pretty poorly, but I also joined a gym and got a personal trainer and had several bouts of healthy eating. I am healthier and stronger, but I do not weigh less (In fact, I weigh more than I ever have!!!). I am getting an IUD on Friday as it MAY be a contributor to my struggles - according to the Depo site, after 5 years you are likely to have added 16 pounds. I've been on Depo for about as many years (2004-2007, 2009-Present), and I weigh around 136... see any correlation?

FINANCES: Another that I'm working on is my finances. Steve and I are saving for our own place. I've been VERY good about putting a minimum of 10% of each paycheck into savings (and actually, I put 10% BEFORE taxes in, so it's a chunk more than my final checks) since we decided to start saving. I'm paying more than the minimum balance towards my student loans as well after each paycheck. My current goal is to get my credit card back to zero. I've been smart about my credit limit and have kept it low in comparison to many peers, so I have a lower balance total to pay off, haha. It's still a pretty good chunk of money, and I've been neglecting paying it off for far too long. I need to get a budget going again. US Bank is telling me they might start a budgeting category, and categorize your spending. I think it'd be a good slap in the face to tell me how much I actually spend on food and games. I need to limit my "fun" spending. I make enough money where I CAN buy whatever I want, but that doesn't mean I SHOULD ALWAYS.

Steve and I both working jobs where we make beyond necessary money has been awesome. We saved for awhile, then paid for our apartment. We began saving and paying things down again. Grimmy cost us about $5000 this year. Otherwise ALL of our credit cards would be paid off by now. We've begun saving again after Grim's surgery in November, and we already have almost $2000 saved. I'm not really sure I care about my spending these days, because we are saving plenty and paying off plenty, so I don't mind as much buying whatever I want anymore.

FAMILY: I'd like to see more of my nephew. I need to spend some time with my sister. I have a goal of visiting her at least one weekend a month.

Failed Failed Failed. We're both too busy.

HOUSING: I have a goal to be moved into a place by April.

Done! We moved in April. We're looking for a new place, though, haha.

RELATIONSHIP: I have a goal of being less randomly, irrationally jealous. Steve doesn't deserve that, and I have no reason to be a bitch. When I'm being like this, and Steve asks me why, I will think and think and think, and I literally have NO IDEA why I'm feeling such raging jealousy. What the fuck, me? I need a better attitude overall, honestly. I get so shitty during the winter months.

I can literally think of maybe ONE major fight we had regarding jealousy. This area has been AMAZING. Go me.

SELF: I need to figure out a way to have higher self-esteem, to accept myself for the way I am. I spend a ridiculous amount of time pining for so many things that I just won't be, physically. Maybe read some books or something. I'm not ugly, so I don't know why I'm not okay with me.

Erm... massive fail. I am CONSTANTLY thinking about my appearance and wallowing in self-hate. Need to work on.

GAMING: I don't have a number goal because that would stress me out, but I have a goal to actively play more games instead of taking forever to beat just one. I have over 200 games to beat - time to get to it! And read more manga and watch more anime!

I beat 16 games this year (compared to Steve's 44). Not the best, for how many games we have (Now over a thousand), but I don't plan to beat them all like Steve will (he's got a couple hundred to go!). A major factor in this area is that the friends group played WoW pretty hardcore for awhile, and that of course tends to steal time away from other games. Plus, having a new job that takes up a lot of my time and exhausts me kept me from being motivated enough. But I played to my heart's content, so that's all that matters! :)

Okay. Goals for 2012.

HEALTH: I want to worry less about weight, and more on inches lost and on nutrition. I want to be healthy without feeling deprived of things I love - like energy drinks and mochas - but still consume less of them. I want to go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I go twice a week already, but it's only for a half hour. I would like to get a run in either before or after my training. Once my contract for personal training ends, I would like to join a boxing class. I would like to start making bentos again, because they're great for portion control.
FINANCES: I would like to be able to save (with Steve) a fairly large chunk of money. This will fluctuate depending on getting a new place and whatnot, but I would like to have a couple thousand in the bank at all times if possible. I would like to get our credit line lower and Grim's CareCredit to zero. My credit is quite good so I don't need to be using my credit cards at all. If I do, I want the balance paid ASAP (especially like Penney's and Victoria's Secret cards).
FAMILY: I would like to help out my family by watching various kids as needed. I would like to have them over, and the older ones to stay the night sometimes. Minimum twice this year (as I refuse to make such a lofty goal as last year).
CAREER: I want to find something that I *love* and that won't burn me out. That I will want to stay at for more than a year. I want to feel useful and appreciated. I want to stop feeling like I'm always fighting a failing, uphill battle. I want to get in a position where instead of wanting to kill myself after 6 months, I relish the joy I get from being good at my job. I've been working with the mentally ill for almost 6 years; I think that is enough. Maybe a different field, maybe a different degree in the future. I am versatile, and have held far too many jobs for my age. I want to settle down somewhere for at least 3-5 years.
RELATIONSHIP: I personally think my relationship is a grand, wonderful thing. I cannot identify any major flaws. We're affectionate, considerate, and attentive to each other. I would like to keep being this way. I would like to be able to identify when things are going downhill for me and being able to rationally discuss the issue before it's out of control. I can think of two actual fights this year. I would like to keep to that same number or fewer (that is not to say we haven't had serious discussions regarding aspects of our relationship; there is a huge difference). I want to make sure that we don't become stagnant or take each other for granted. While I feel we are both quite aware of how we're doing, that doesn't mean it doesn't take work and monitoring. I would like to continue taking days here and there for us. I would like to take a trip somewhere this year, just us two.
SELF: I want to continue my goal from last year. I want to learn to accept myself, the things I cannot change about me that I wish I could, change the things I can control, and just be me. I want to start doing things that make me feel pretty again, like painting my nails. I want to fit in nice outfits and feel cute.I want to care less about what I think people think of me. I also want to be more accepting when I am not perfect. I need to stop thinking I need to be the best at everything, or do it exactly right. I think I'm pretty good most of the time, but when I set my expectations higher than the result, I end up feeling disappointed and stupid. I would like to actively work on de-stressing more. Feeling more calm and centered. Maybe starting yoga again, even one time a week or every couple of weeks. Something to help me feel good and not like a tight ball of anxiety.
GAMES: I would like to beat one more than last year. So... 17 :D I would also like to begin reviewing games. Not necessarily this huge, in-depth process because I'll just stress myself out, but just various thoughts and opinions to look back on when I want a refresher, or to more accurately explain my feelings to others.