spritechan | I don't just need a Muse, I need an outlet (Reply)

I wish I were a more creative, artsy person. People everywhere I know are painting, or drawing, or sculpting, or taking photos. I have a desire to do all those things... but I'm not really good at any of them. I can't just buy a canvas and start painting. For one, I don't have "style" with which I can just paint or draw things in, and two, I feel like a poser, a huge wannabe. It would just be nice to be good at an outlet like those. I want to look at a block of clay and KNOW what I want to do with it. I want to be able to mess around with ideas, but come up with something good in the end, even if it's something silly. I knit, yeah, but I feel like in the end, it's more practical than creative. I used to write, but I lost interest in actually writingsomething pretty or interesting a long time ago. I've definitely lost my "touch" and I'm not interested in writing stories. I used to play in band, but I never made anything for myself. I actually HATED improv.

I just want to be good at something, and be able to freehand it, and get all these creative frustrations OUT of me. I want to make something beautiful. I want to have a journal like Daniel Faraday, but instead of complex math equations and notes to self on physics, I want it to be filled with amazing quotes, random doodles, anything pretty. I feel a huge urge to enjoy fall, but I won't... I don't have the time, and Steve and I aren't exactly outdoors-type people with the little time we have. I want to be the adventuresome type right now, even though that's not really me.

I just feel stuck!