Hell yeah! And good on you for making the right call on which to do--sometimes it's obvious when a phone call will come too late, and other times when it's what is best. This is something I would say a phone call will help.
The trick is to KEEP CALLING. Try to do it as soon as possible to catch him in the act with the police, but the more DV charges he has, or domestic disturbance calls they get, the more he developes a record. And then all it takes is ONE slip up, ONE time when she goes into the police herself beaten up, and he's taken away where he won't be able to hurt her anymore. These things add up, and the police are far more likely to take something seriously when someone has multiple charges already lined up in their file.
And seriously, you've got to know the drill by now, dealing with psychology like you do--she's been beaten enough times that she won't speak up for herself anymore. She can't call for help, so someone else has got to put on her big girl pants and help her out.
And usually what happens in a DV case, is that immediately afterwards, the male is VERY apologetic. Swears it will never happen again, or talk about how he's SO SORRY, it's just that if only SHE didn't fuck up so much, didn't MAKE him so angry, he wouldn't need to hurt her. It's really HER fault, you see...and then she apologizes. Repeatedly. And comforts HIM, assures him that it's okay, and she'll do better next time, and it'll be okay.
That's what happens in violent couples 98% of the time, when the violence is one-sided, particularly in the case of violent male, submissive female. It's really a sick situation that can get me seeing red. D=
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Date: 2011-04-15 03:53 am (UTC)The trick is to KEEP CALLING. Try to do it as soon as possible to catch him in the act with the police, but the more DV charges he has, or domestic disturbance calls they get, the more he developes a record. And then all it takes is ONE slip up, ONE time when she goes into the police herself beaten up, and he's taken away where he won't be able to hurt her anymore. These things add up, and the police are far more likely to take something seriously when someone has multiple charges already lined up in their file.
And seriously, you've got to know the drill by now, dealing with psychology like you do--she's been beaten enough times that she won't speak up for herself anymore. She can't call for help, so someone else has got to put on her big girl pants and help her out.
And usually what happens in a DV case, is that immediately afterwards, the male is VERY apologetic. Swears it will never happen again, or talk about how he's SO SORRY, it's just that if only SHE didn't fuck up so much, didn't MAKE him so angry, he wouldn't need to hurt her. It's really HER fault, you see...and then she apologizes. Repeatedly. And comforts HIM, assures him that it's okay, and she'll do better next time, and it'll be okay.
That's what happens in violent couples 98% of the time, when the violence is one-sided, particularly in the case of violent male, submissive female. It's really a sick situation that can get me seeing red. D=