I'm sure I will if it comes up in the future. It gives you the ickiest feeling to hear someone getting hit. I was thinking about how I'm kinda surprised no one ever called the cops on me and Dan, because we'd have the loudest shouting matches that if *I* were the neighbor below, I'd be scared for what was happening. I threw stuff at him a few times too, and would shove him if he got too close.
When it's dominant/submissive dynamics versus the rage model, it's like triply times scary. It's a very holy shit moment. The SECOND I knew something was wrong, my blood pressure and heartbeat shot through the roof.
It's also common for women (and men, I suppose) who grow up in that environment to think that's how it's supposed to be. Or, like you said, it's happened so much to them that either they think they can't get any better, or they deserve it, or that getting help won't matter.
I do wish the police came faster, when he was yelling at her as well as the other stuff. By the time they got here, it was much quieter/calmer. Abusers who are seasoned can do their thing while completely calm, which is even more infuriating because then it looks like the woman is just "emotional" and if he doesn't look worked up, obviously nothing MAJOR happened. And black women show bruises less easily, especially if the blows were to the head vs the face or anywhere else.
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Date: 2011-04-15 09:03 pm (UTC)When it's dominant/submissive dynamics versus the rage model, it's like triply times scary. It's a very holy shit moment. The SECOND I knew something was wrong, my blood pressure and heartbeat shot through the roof.
It's also common for women (and men, I suppose) who grow up in that environment to think that's how it's supposed to be. Or, like you said, it's happened so much to them that either they think they can't get any better, or they deserve it, or that getting help won't matter.
I do wish the police came faster, when he was yelling at her as well as the other stuff. By the time they got here, it was much quieter/calmer. Abusers who are seasoned can do their thing while completely calm, which is even more infuriating because then it looks like the woman is just "emotional" and if he doesn't look worked up, obviously nothing MAJOR happened. And black women show bruises less easily, especially if the blows were to the head vs the face or anywhere else.