spritechan: (TTGL - Yoko - you wanna mess with me)
Even though Laura was the one who set the pricing for my tattoo sessions, and even though Jerry (the owner) approved of them and was present, I always got the feeling that he did not approve of the pricing. He constantly gave her pointed looks and asked her how long we were working for. Laura is his only employee. She is talented, friendly, and simply awesome. I saw 3 other tattoos happen by Jerry in the 6 sessions I have had with the shop, and everyone came and left during my session. I noticed that the shop wasn't doing awesome (at least on the days I was there), and Laura mentioned several times that November/December were the slowest months. So really, my $2000 was helping the shop a great deal during the slow period. Laura offered my last session in December to be free, because progress was going slower than we would have liked (the flowers and grass around 3/4 of my wrist, for example, took one whole session and was a very small area). *I* did not ask for it. *She* offered it. 

So when I went in for my session on the 1st, I did not feel like it was any different. Jerry was being douchey with his looks, and Laura and I were doing business as usual. When Jerry left at 6, he gave her a longer-than-normal stare before he left. At 7, she went to get a pizza two doors down. She received a text during that time. I did not think to let her know she received one when she got back. A few minutes later, the shop got a phone call. It was Jerry. He clearly asked her if she got the text. She grabbed her phone and went into the storage room (as the shop really is just one big room). It was very clear then that the phone call was regarding me. A very heated 5-10-minute discussion ensued, with her raising her voice and getting all fast and squeaky. I knew they were arguing about my sleeve. A few minutes later she came out, stricken and very visibly upset, and told me that Jerry was requiring her to raise the price of my sessions, starting that evening. I was IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SESSION, mind you. Apparently Jerry feels that they have been undercharging me, and I deserve to finish my tattoo at an increased rate. At the time I was tired, and defeated, and I didn't want to be mad at Laura for what Jerry did. So we came to a compromise for the night and I ended up paying $50 more than I would have (I still tipped her my standard amount, which she was plainly shocked to see. It was clear that she thought she'd be losing her tip in favor of making up for the increase in price. I would never take that out on her like that.)

For a little while, I resigned myself to it. There's about 2 sessions left and then touch-ups, which are free (the shop guarantees all of its work... or so it claims). I couldn't think of a way to argue my point without burning bridges. I decided to let it go. I DID NOT schedule a new appointment, which I had done every single other time. I hoped that would send a message.

Then I thought about it for a few days, and I have decided that I simply may not go back to the shop AT ALL. How DARE he send his employee to do his dirty work? How DARE he decide to extort me when he knows that I am so close to being done? How DARE he not have the balls to talk to me himself!!!! Fuck! I am seething. I vacillate between wanting to storm down there and demand that he not renege on the agreed upon deal (and notify him that I know an artist who would be GLAD to finish my tattoo [even though I don't want to take this away from Laura and I don't *actually* have an artist lined up... but Andy could do it]), and maybe reach a compromise, and just never contacting them again and badmouthing the shop to anyone who will listen (and post a horrible review on FB, etc. OR just waiting to see if he convinces Laura to contact me when he realizes he misses that consistent money from me). Whenever I think of going to shop, my blood pressure absolutely skyrockets and I get dizzy, from a combination of the helpless, blind rage I feel at his outright greedy asshole behavior and the fact that I am so ridiculously terrified of a confrontation that I panic at the thought of trying to put forth a demanding, coherent, convincing argument.

It just sucks. Why did he have to do that? I hate him. Seriously. It's so wrong on so many levels and I just don't deserve this kind of treatment. God.

Stuff

Oct. 2nd, 2012 01:51 pm
spritechan: (Spirited Away - No-Face)

Holy moley I'm tired today! Traffic was very bad this morning due to a fatal car accident - I saw the SUV involved, and the person was probably crushed. During this time there were several minutes of dead-stoppage. The highway is already down to one lane beginning in that area because of construction, and morning traffic is always bad around that time. When we were stopped I made a tweet, and my great aunt deigned to remind me that texting and driving is illegal. It drives me insane when people take every opportunity to remind you when you're doing wrong, as if it will change the behavior. I'm here to tell you, it will not. End of story.

 

Anyway. I started my second grad school class, and we met yesterday. During this meeting I came to the should-have-been obvious realization regarding why I do what I do. I want to work with EBD and Autism, and thrive in chaotic environments... I process information very quickly and become bored almost too easily, it's like I *need* the environment to be unpredictable from day to day and even up to minute to minute to keep my brain excited and stimulated. Coming to this realization was really amusing, but also freeing. I love developing new awareness and understanding of myself.

 

This LJ app sucks, by the way. Not capitalizing the beginning of sentences, really??

 

I'm seeing a chiropractor twice a week for 6 weeks for adjustments, acupuncture and some muscle therapy. It's mostly for my bladder issues but I have longstanding back pain from having lordosis (swayback) and horrid neck pain. Since insurance will pay, I'm treating the whole package. :)

 

A nap is most definitely in order today after work. I'm so so tired!

 

Steve and I went to a local farm with an apple orchard and picked delicious apples and bought homemade pancake/waffle/muffin mix with pumpkin flavoring. It smells so good! Faith and I made the muffins and they were amazing.

spritechan: (Default)
K, seriously. The weather needs to stop being in the 80's-90's for part of a week, and then be in the upper 50's, then be 93 for a day, and then go back to the fucking 50's again. I'm so SICK of this bullshit weather. Anything below 70's leaves me feeling lethargic, not motivated, and irritable. Especially with it being cloudy too.

I did so well the past couple weeks exercising (despite the constant, near-crippling pain in my bones) and now with the chilly and cloudy, I'm cranky and just want to sleep in my car on break (and feel sorry for myself for being injured).

I don't want to be in the toddler room today. I'm too irritable.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

spritechan: (Dilbert - Drunk or morons)
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] ayanamisama:


From an anti-choice blog called Speak for the Weak:
When I say I’m pro-life…

It doesn’t mean I’m religious.
Because I’m not.

It doesn’t mean I hate LGBT community.
Because I am a supporter.

It doesn’t mean I force women to give birth.
Because I never will.

Take what you want from my blog, but never assume I’m just your stereotypical pro-lifer. It is VERY possible to ask questions, state your opinions in a civil manner on this blog. I am respectful and I enjoy answering all questions received!

Thanks for following! :)
-speakfortheweak


Desliz had this response:
Let me tell you some things.

I used to investigate child abuse and neglect. I can tell you how to stop the vast majority of abortion in the world.

First, make knowledge and access to contraception widely available. Start teaching kids before they hit puberty. Teach them about domestic violence and coercion, and teach them not to coerce and rape. Create a strong, loving community where women and girls feel safe and supported in times of need. Because guess what? They aren’t. You know what happens to babies born under such circumstances? They get hurt, unnecessarily. They get sick, unnecessarily. They get removed from parents who love them but who are unprepared for the burden of a child. Resources? Honey, we try. There aren’t enough resources anywhere. There are waiting lists, and promises, and maybes. If the government itself can’t hook people up, what makes you think an impoverished single mom can handle it?

Abolish poverty. Do you have any idea how much childcare costs? Daycare can cost as much or more than monthly rent. They may be inadequately staffed. Getting a private nanny is a nice idea, but they don’t come cheap either. Relatives? Do they own a car? Does the bus run at the right times? Do they have jobs of their own they need to work just to keep the lights on? Are they going to stick around until you get off you convenience store shift at 4 AM? Do they have criminal histories that will make them unsuitable as caregivers when CPS pokes around? You gonna pay for that? Who’s going to pay for that?

End rape. I know your type errs on the side of blaming the woman, but I’ve seen little girls who’ve barely gotten their periods pregnant because somebody thought raping preteens was an awesome idea. You want to put a child through that? Or someone with a mental or physical inability for whom pregnancy would be frightening, painful or even life-threatening? I’ve seen nonverbal kids who had their feet sliced up by caregivers for no fucking reason at all, you think sexual abuse doesn’t happen either?

You say there’s lots of couples who want to adopt. Kiddo, what they want to adopt are healthy white babies, preferably untainted by the wombs and genetics of women with alcohol or drug dependencies. I’ve seen the kids they don’t want, who almost no one wants. You people focus only on the happy pink babies, the gigglers, the ones who grow and grow with no trouble. Those are not the kids who linger in foster care. Those are certainly not the older kids and teenagers who age out of foster care and then are thrown out in the streets, usually with an array of medical and mental health issues. Are they too old to count?

And yeah, I’ve seen the babies, little hand-sized things barely clinging to life. There’s no glory, no wonder there. There is no wonder in a pregnant woman with five dollars to her name, so deep in depression you wonder if she’ll be alive in a week. Therapy costs money. Medicine costs money. Food, clothes, electricity cost money. Government assistance is a pittance; poverty drives women and girls into situations where they are forced to rely on people who abuse them to survive. (I’ve been up in more hospitals than I can count.)

In each and every dark pit of desperation, I have never seen a pro-lifer. I ain’t never seen them babysitting, scrubbing floors, bringing over goods, handing mom $50 bucks a month or driving her to the pediatrician. I ain’t never seen them sitting up for hours with an autistic child who screams and rages so his mother can get some sleep while she rests up from working 14-hour days. I don’t see them fixing leaks in rundown houses or playing with a kid while the police prepare to interview her about her sexual abuse. They’re not paying for the funerals of babies and children who died after birth, when they truly do become independent organisms. And the crazy thing is they think they’ve already done their job, because the child was born!

Aphids give birth, girl. It’s no miracle. You want to speak for the weak? Get off your high horse and get your hands dirty helping the poor, the isolated, the ill and mentally ill women and mothers and their children who already breathe the dirty air. You are doing nothing, absolutely nothing, for children. You don’t have a flea’s comprehension of injustice. You are not doing shit for life until you get in there and fight that darkness. Until you understand that abortion is salvation in a world like ours. Does that sound too hard? Do you really think suffering post-birth is more permissible, less worthy of outrage?

“Pro-life” is simply a philosophy in which the only life worth saving is the one that can be saved by punishing a woman.


-----------------------------------

It was like speaking for my whole career. That's the population I work with - the poor, the impoverished, the mentally ill, the medically ill, the ignored, forgotten, the horribly-treated.
spritechan: (Default)

So... ended up having to stay late to assist a client who's not even mine (I was on day coverage, where you assist when another case manager is unavailable), and now it's too late for me to go home without feeling like it was a waste of gas, since I need to be going the opposite direction in like an hour to pick up a package from Minneapolis.

Backing up!

This weekend was mine and Steve's second anniversary. Saturday night Steve had to work, so I tried to stay up late working on an adorable present for him (HE DOESN'T USUALLY READ MY JOURNAL BUT IF HE HAPPENS TO BE READING HE BETTER STOP OR SPOILERS) for his birthday, a cross-stitched 3D weighted companion cube. XD His birthday's on the 14th of June. When he got home we had sexy debauchery, and then gift exchange. I was only able to give him one of my two presents because UPS is a cunt and kept NOT delivering the package.

I was notified on the 24th that they needed an apartment number. I called them. I told them there is NO apartment number, but if it makes them feel better, they can list apartment 1.

On the 25th, they called and said they couldn't deliver without an apartment number. I told them there is no apartment number, but if it makes them feel better, they can list apartment 1. They confirmed I've already told them this because it was in their system.

On the 26th, I received a call saying they could not deliver without an apartment number. I reminded them that there is no apartment number, and they can list apartment 1 if it makes them feel better. They confirmed I've already told them this because it was in their system.

On the 27th, they called to say they were delivering and it should be at my place by 4:30. At 5pm I called them. They said they tried to deliver (THEY DID NOT) but they couldn't because there was no apartment number and confirmed that I GAVE THEM AN UPDATE. The lady said it would be delivered by 8pm. At 9pm I called and asked why the fuck it wasn't delivered. I was told they never got around to it and it would not be delivered until Tuesday the 31st because of the holiday.

Today, I received a call at 8:30am saying they would deliver today. We went through the same schpiel. I asked Steve to stay up and watch for it because I was required to be at the office all day. At 1:30pm, he checked the tracking. At 10:31am it is listed that the package could not be delivered because of no apartment number.

...
...

Steve says he was literally propped in front of the window, running to the door any time he heard a truck noise and even went outside when he thought he heard knocking, even though we can see the door from the window. THEY DID NOT TRY TO DELIVER. My guess is they just kept repeating the same shit and NEVER tried to deliver after seeing the original note.

At this point, I am seeing RED. I called UPS, in near hysterics, and told the nice guy I am VERY upset with them. He listened to my story, confirmed everything I said, and basically said it looked like they did not, in fact, even attempt to deliver today. But the package was on the truck. He was able to change the delivery method to pick up, as the website says it will be returned to sender tomorrow, and I obviously can't trust them to deliver it. I was unable to change it myself because the website put my package on "exception." Whatever.

An hour later I got a call from a woman wanting me to explain the whole situation, and the thing is, I seriously don't get the difference between my apartment and the others. Their doors are set up exactly like mine - just a door. A LOCKED door. There are no calling systems, no buttons, no slots per apartment. It seriously SHOULD NOT matter that I didn't list an apartment, at least for the purpose of GOING TO THE FUCKING DOOR AND KNOCKING before saying it was impossible to deliver. She said that she found it weird because the same guy's been working my route for years. Well, he's a fucktard.

So because of all this, I could not give Steve his ADORABLE second gift. I got him 999 for DS (look it up, it's like Saw/Higurashi), and the package was Nintendo Monopoly, for the purpose of cute fun board games! He loved the idea and totally got why I was crushed at not being able to give it to him the day of.

He got me a super cute children's book of My Neighbor Totoro, an AWESOME necklace modeled after Ryuk's earring (OMGGGG YES), and the first book of Chobits. We are best EVAR.

Most of the rest of the weekend was either spent with nookie, or naps, or Final Fantasy VI/999 (I'm SO CLOSE to beating it, and I'm super OP because I'm trying to complete it). We also got our appointments set up for next weekend for tattoos, which are our MAIN anniversary gifts to each other - the other stuff was just extra cuteness! He's getting a cactuar on his other calf, and I'm starting my Miyazaki sleeve with Soot Sprites! They'll be winding up my forearm, and they'll have the candies! We were quoted much cheaper than expected, and sooner than expected, and the guy didn't poop on our ideas. Yay!!

P.S. Steve and I have now begun calling when I get mad "kicking off my shoes" because of a hilarious part in a Jon & Kate plus 8 episode where Madi is wearing dress-up heels and suddenly gets super pissed and did this hilarious jump-kick thing and her shoes flew so comically and effectively off. That's SO me XD I also asked Steve what percentage of the time he is annoyed with me, and he landed on 2-percent  - that which usually is when I get RAGING mad at a video game or kick off my shoes about dumb shit like the weather. So I got really mad at FFVI yesterday in a cave, and when Steve offered to help me get out of my tough spot, I said, "Do you still love me?" (we do this as a silly thing, not an actual co-dependent thing), and he said, "All but 2-percent of me does!"

Omg. It was so funny. I laughed so hard.
 


spritechan: (Dilbert - I have a good attitude)
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First off, I would like to say that I think either half the people answering the question are liars, or only the "good" ones are answering, because I know A LOT of people who snoop on their significant other. I even know a girl who didn't want her boyfriend talking with this one girl, so she'd go into his email and facebook and delete any messages or emails she'd send him.

I don't think that you should snoop on your partner, no. It causes a lot of issues. I've read some of Steve's texts before and he's done the same to me, but never out of suspicion or anger. I remember him saying something to me a few months ago like, "If you read my texts, whatever you do DON'T go into my drafts folder. It's where I keep my list of gift ideas for you." And I haven't, because I know it's true.

The interesting thing about him is how trusting he is. He's like the perfect person when it comes to showing resiliency. He discovered his girlfriend was cheating on him with his best friend through their comments to each other on MySpace. Not messages, COMMENTS! Who knows what the hell they were messaging each other?! Most people would then be wary of the next social networking addict. But he's not. We're both very open about what we're doing. Anything we ask the other, we answer. Once I made a stupid drunken decision (something like, "HEYYY WE HAVE THE SAME PHONE LET'S EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERRRRS." I think. He might have asked me.) at a party with some douche, and when Steve asked who I was texting and I told him the story, he (rightfully, especially considering he's straight-edge and thinks drunk people are stupid) got angry with me. With no qualms I immediately texted the guy saying that we should no longer speak (he had been texting me a lot since the party, but only like one-word texts) because we had no reason to (which is true), and deleted the number out of my phone to show that I didn't mean any harm and it meant nothing to me. And all was well.



Now, I'm not perfect. I HAVE been snoopy before.

When I was with Dan, there was a serious lack of trust and we snooped on each other all the time (granted, we were together from the ages of 16-21, therefore started young). For me, I felt justified. I found lies everywhere I looked. One of the biggest lies was when I should have been smart and called it quits, but I'm a ninny. We were going to school four hours apart and he hadn't called me for a few days. I signed into his facebook to get a friend's phone number that he lived with, and being 18 and curious, I checked his messages. In there I found several between him and an ex, which hurt a lot because 1. He was NEVER close with his ex. They met in MEXICO on a mission trip, didn't live near each other, and didn't yet have licenses or cell phones and therefore rarely talked. 2. He went many stretches of time without any contact with me at all. The most recent one was dated the previous day, apologizing for not calling her back AFTER TALKING TO ME (when he'd always say he was tired and wanted to get off the phone, etc.). I confronted him; he outright lied about it, even after I told him I was staring directly at the message.

There were hints about him visiting her "again." When asked about this, he said she was referring to a long time ago and wanted to see him but he wouldn't. Of course, not believing him, I signed into MSN and started a conversation with her. To be fair, she sounded like she was only interested in hanging out and was totally open to talking to me, knowing who I was. What I learned from her was that he went to a different state to visit his friend and herself. That he drove like 6 hours to see them. When he couldn't be assed to even talk to me.

I was so mad that if he'd been present, I might have seriously scratched his eyes out. I was RAGING. We talked for like three hours as he tried to convince me to not break up with him. And eventually I relented. And then spent another 3 years of the same old shit. After we broke up but I continued to live with him for a time, a bunch more stuff I never knew about came trickling out of him. He thought it was funny, how much he lied to me.

I guess I have some issues after Dan, but I trust Steve. He's given me no reason to be suspicious of his behavior, so I treat him that way.

spritechan: (Clannad - Tomoya Nagisa nap)
I actually wanna write but I'm too exhausted.

I went to bed at like 10:30am to try to get sleep before my work training on Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy from 5pm-9pm...

For you "normal" schedule peeps, that's like getting home at 5:30pm and going to bed at 7pm, to get up for a 4-hr training at 2am even though you work again at 8am. (-_-)* Needless to say, it was pretty much a failure. I got a little here and there, but it can't have been more than 2 hours total. I sleep so lightly and Steve's mom ALWAYS creeps on me when I'm sleeping (and Steve's not home - she doesn't do it if we're BOTH sleeping wtf) and therefore I wake up.

Yeah, so I'm tired. I went through several mini-RAGE moments last night.

Right now I'm too cold and tired to really feel anything. I expressed my rebellion at having to come into work with no sleep by wearing Steve's oversized (FOR HIM) Nintendo hoodie.
spritechan: (Scorpio)
The level of disgust that I feel towards people who cover up sexual abuse crimes is almost immeasurable.

The Catholic church has been hiding their abuse of children for centuries, and this started because the people of the church wanted to ensure that property of men went to the church when they died, not families? The requirement of celibacy came about very early on in the church, because the church wasn't satisfied with the married bishops, etc. passing their land on to their sons. Nothing in the Bible says anything about being celibate as a member of the church, and the apostles had families. So what the fuck, Catholicism?

Many men who become a part of the church start at a very early age, like 14 years old. When they make these decisions to join the church, it's like they're halting their psychosexual development. They're fed all these rules about controlling themselves, when really they're just BEGGING for these... kids, really... to become pedophiles. They're not taught how to understand their bodies and the urges they feel, and they are discouraged from exploring these feelings. All of us know how pleasurable sexual feelings are since we're free to express them. But what about a 20-year-old (or what-have-you) priest who never learned to understand and channel his feelings? He works with children. He feels affectionate towards these children. He feels connected to these children. In effect, he's nearly at the same stage of psychosexual development they are at. Children are trusting, and naive. What better subjects to explore your sexual curiosity with without feeling like you're really breaking the rules?

Let's not forget that it's safe to assume that a large number of these men were ALSO abused as children, and are simply perpetuating what they learned as children themselves. Did it feel wrong, or bad, or uncomfortable when it happened to them? Certainly. Did they learn those behaviors from their abusers? Almost definitely. They first are against the actions, but then learn to accept them. Learn to squash their feelings and accept the fear and pain. It's just a part of life, and surely their priest, their vessel of Jesus, wouldn't do something to them that wasn't okay! And yet... they know it's not something they should be telling people. Because deep down it really hurts. It's scary. It's involving parts of their body that they were taught were private.

I firmly believe that if the Catholic church allowed their priests to have families, that this would happen a lot less. There would still be abusers within the church, but I think the number would be far fewer. Because these men would have been given the chance to grow into their sexuality and express it in a healthy way. Personally I think celibacy itself is appalling, but that's likely here nor there.

I don't think that pedophiles are inherently monsters. I think that they learned a specific way to behave, and found an outlet for their sexuality. I think that that outlet is viewed by the Catholic church as no worse than being sexual with an adult. It's just another form of "sex," in a world where "sex" is forbidden, and is probably considered lesser because they're children, and also because children are less likely to tell. I think that these priests are stuck in the wrong stage of psychosexual development, and they need help in order to correct that. By ignoring claims of abuse (and even pleas for help from the pedophile priests), the church is only exacerbating the problem, and preventing these men from getting the help they desperately need. 

I wish that we could live in a world where a priest could confess his feelings (hopefully it would only be urges, but likely it would be reported abuse) to his leader, and the leader could arrange for counseling, for therapy, to help them work through it. I really think that, especially at the beginning, these men could be helped in controlling those urges. Attraction towards children is likely never to go away, but at least they could understand why they CANNOT do that, and WHY it's so horrifically wrong for them to hurt children, and that what happened to them as kids (likely) is no less wrong. That THEY are victims too. I also wish that the Catholic church would realize how negative the requirement for celibacy really is, and repeal that. The cycle of pain and suffering just has to end, and it has to start somewhere. It has to start with the church facing their mistakes and taking steps to amend for what has been broken.

Just.. UNNNGHFHGHFH

Gotta pee

Nov. 10th, 2010 06:34 am
spritechan: (Dilbert - Drunk or morons)
-Getting excited for Deathly Hallows! I've decided to quick knit up a ribbed scarf, in HuffPuff colors o' course!
-Probs going to reread the 7th book if I can this weekend!
-It's my birthday the same night DH comes out, and I'm super excited to see what Steve got me!!
-There's Dan drama afoot. He told me a couple weeks ago he might be able to get my kidnapped toon back to me. I told him the other day it's not THAT, it's that in merging our account he effectively made it so I will have to rebuy the discs, which I do not want to do. Then he FLIPPED OUT because I wrote "I DO NOT WANT TO REBUY THE DISCS PLEASE LISTEN" in all caps and APPARENTLY that was being a bitch.
No wait, here's a screen of our convo )

I mean, yeah I'm kinda pissy, and snarky. But not to the extent which he is saying. And "bitch for no reason"? Uhhhhhh I have PLENTY of reason to be a bitch. I also kind of feel like we are having two separate conversations. I hate him.

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