Mar. 25th, 2013 04:55 pm
spritechan: (Bebop - Ein Edward)
I have some big news pending, but I don't want to say anything unless it's for sure. Suffice to say, fingers crossed and I hope to be able to share it with you soon! Well, I will either way but let's hope it all works out!

Steve and I reviewed our finances and noticed that we spend a horrendous amount of money per month on eating out, followed by things like coffee, jamba juice, etc. So we sat down with Paul and worked out our budget, and we're trying to stick by that now - including an "allowance." It should really help us with saving more money, and on not gaining unnecessary pounds with fatty foods!

I beat Bayonetta last weekend, and I've been replaying it on one difficulty level harder, and I've gotten so good at it, getting trophies left and right! It's a fantastic game.
spritechan: (Lost - Locke jealous island speaks to me)
So... Being too busy has begun to get to me, heh. On Sunday night I got more anxious than I have been in quite some time and I didn't fall asleep until just before Steve came to bed around 3am (He took a 5-day weekend to use up his remaining vacation time before the year ends), and then of course when he woke me up the anxiety cycle restarted. I ended up calling in Monday and yesterday, to catch my breath and also to spend some time with Steve. I mean, I still had school on Monday, and I had a chiro appointment that I ultimately skipped, but it was still good to actually get sleep on not be stressed with the new trimester. I'm definitely over all the rules and controlling of Bath and Body works. I can't wait to be done. I just am not interested in the way it's run, especially with that one manager I simply can't stand. She's rude. And omg my time is so busy. Ughhghghhghhh.

So instead I got to play copious amounts of Rock Band 3!

Pat told me yesterday that it was "refreshing" to have someone who consistently wanted to do vocals. I was surprised because I feel like a bossy twat whenever I'm on vocals, simply because I don't like to do anything else. Guitar Hero I can play on guitar, and I was quite good at it at one point when I lived at Dan's parent's house and played with Michael, but for some reason it just isn't the same on Rock Band. Probably because there's soooo much repetition of notes versus variety. I just HATE the guitar. And let's face it, I am not a drummer. I like to sing, and I can USUALLY figure out pitch. Whenever ANYONE (usually female) asks to sing when I'm being vocals, I get all stiff like they think I'm hogging them and I need to share. I think I might be paranoid. XD

That 70's Show is so good. We've switched back to that being out background show. And omg Breaking Bad is amazing. We finally started the 5th season and it's GREAT.

I'm dyeing my hair Christmas colors this time... I was originally going to do a pink/green/purple or pink/green/blue combo, but then Steve pointed out that it's the holidays, so we got some red and I'm working on the colors right now! I'll post a pic when finished.

When I was at school on Monday, the professor asked for a show of hands who planned to do the hybrid program (mostly online), or the traditional program (once a week face-to-face). Most people raised their hands at hybrid. The class was about half that of when we started. This is due to a combination of people dropping out of the program with a smattering of people who didn't need the course. It was weird. My 3 favorite people were still in it, so I sat by them this time so I didn't have to get stuck with annoying guy. Anyway, during the break one of the students talked with the professor about the differences in the programs, and apparently the professor told them that while the face-to-face program does require the attendance commitment, there's a lot less busy work and most of the work is done in class. Ugh. WHYYY SO MEAN!?!?!? I mean, I get it. They want to make sure students are learning when not attending class so they assign a bunch of things. Is attending a class once a week a good trade-off for not having a ton of independent work? I'm so torn!

P.S. the urologist called back with my test results and said that even though my numbers were far improved, I was still showing some of that bacteria they don't want, so it's back to no sex for a couple weeks and a mega dose of medication. AND another follow-up appointment. Woo.
spritechan: (Clannad - Mei curious)

For the past several months I have had the most vivid dreams involving bees. Seriously. I probably dream about some odd situation in which I get stung multiple times by some scary bee at least once a week or sometimes every other week. I feel the sensation of being stung, I feel the bee crawling on me, I can feel any time I happen to “catch” it and inspect what is hurting me. The weirdest part is I’M NOT EVEN SCARED OF BEES! Nor do I have any memory of being stung in real life. The bees in my dreams are usually big ugly wasp/hornet things that are super mad at me for whatever reason. It’s usually one, but I had a dream recently that it was several stinging me at the same time (and after they were taken care of, my body burned at the sting “sites”). In the dreams I continue to not be afraid of bees; more like confused at how I could have angered them so when I treat insects quite respectfully 99% of the time. The rest of the dream is comprised of various feelings about being stung, I guess. It’s just weird to wake up with pain spots and have other body memory sensations for the next several hours. It’s 11:30am and I *still* am recovering from my dream last night. What is with me and dreams lately? This particular one I was sitting and started being stung from behind – that is, I couldn’t immediately see the offender, so I reached around and grasped him and brought him close to my face for inspection. He was big and fuzzy and squirmy. I guess he could only be killed by letting him go and hitting him with a flyswatter, so that’s what I did. Then I watched him for a few minutes before waking up. Nothing major or serious, or even heart-thumping. Sometimes in my dreams I get a bit of an adrenaline rush, but usually it’s more… scientific? Observant? …Detached in a way? Hmmm.

spritechan: (NGE - Mari sideways glance)
I almost decided to lead a double life for a moment. Quite surreal, and insane how easily it could happen. In another life, I think. But not now. I'm glad I peeked through the window, though. I needed to.

I've been able to talk to Bre relatively frequently lately, and I like that. She and Lamin even visited the townhouse for a bit on their way to a rodeo in Wisconsin. I love her inability to have a filter, and her brutal honesty, but above all, her genuineness. There is no way for that girl to be disingenuous and it's that quality that keeps her so near and dear to my heart.

When writing on my phone I must hit the letter k instead of m about 90% of the time and the text predictor always changes 'my' to 'Kyoto'. Lol.

Been playing a lot of Persona 3 Portable on the PSP and watching a lot of Breaking Bad with Steve and Pat. I'll be finished with my first grad school class this weekend and immediately start class number two! Otherwise there's not too much else going on, just seeing family here and there. Steve did the Mud Factor 5k obstacle course with me and will do the Warrior Dash next summer with me. Warrior dash was way more fun anyway even if the mud smelled and felt like actual shit. Mud Factor has amazing soft sandy mud that did not stink.

Oops! Break is over!

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

spritechan: (Avatar - Kataang Forever)
Sooo, I'm reading this book based on the incredibly terrifying and gruesome Hi-Fi Murders. Steve says I'm morbid. I know I am. When I was in 11th grade and had to find a skeleton picture as the cover of my Shakespeare reviews or whatever, I spent hours discovering gory death pictures after that was the majority of search results. I haunted my dreams with awful ways people look after being murdered or committing suicide. The Hi-Fi murders are particularly horrible because they were planned deaths of random people. That is, the primary killer decided that he would horrifically murder anyone present during the robbery of an electronics store. The book is non-fiction, weaved together from interviews with the survivor and anyone involved (including the murderer) as well as testimony from the trials. The book is highly detailed to the level I desire, which only intensifies the effect. I've spent two lunch breaks with teary eyes wallowing in the despair the family experienced and is poignantly captured. I was talking to Steve about how amazing it is and at one point he burst out laughing because I "Leah'd" - a term with many definitions but is frequently referenced when I tell unnecessary details because *I* would want them (the example in question was where I was talking about an investigator and felt the need to explain that he was actually sort of retired and not the *main* investigator but it's still cool that the murderer in this case is also the murderer in the ONLY unsolved homicide he had). I was most moved by a man whose wife and 16-year-old son were both involved in the murders. He describes how it felt to face his dead wife in all her ruined glory and having to come to terms with the fact that the woman he was with for 36 years and was his "partner for life" was gone. Yep. Just gone. No more. The end. Never coming back. Over. And how he had to be strong while each of his other family members mourned after they arrived at the hospital and that he had to close off his heart to the fact that his life partner, who he was JUST talking to before she left to find their son (AND she was frantic with worry at the son not returning home yet and he told her she was overreacting. Think about THAT guilt), was dead forever. I explained to Steve that for me it would be a CONSTANT immediate back-and-forth where I would tell myself that information and then swiftly reject it with an "IMPOSSIBLE NO IT'S NOT TRUE IT'S NOT I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT FUCK YOU IT JUST SIMPLY IS NOT POSSIBLE I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS AND NO TAKE IT BACK." Rinse and repeat.

As a result, I should not have been surprised to have a similar heart-wrenching dream in which I left a church and drove by many crazed velociraptors (naturally) and when I arrived at his office building I KNEW that Steve had been attacked by raptors and I was frantically trying to find out where he was and I went to the hospital to find him and I was screaming for him and I knew he was dead but I couldn't accept it and I knew I would try to take it back when I found his mangled body and I kept willing him to be alive and not hurt. I woke up with my "trying to cry" face on, breathing all heavy and terrified. I immediately rolled over to Steve and cuddled him super hard and could not let go of him for several hours. And of course when I tried to fall back asleep I had to try to force the remnants of the dream away so I could stop trying to manipulate it and fail. My dreams like that go in endless circles as my brain refuses to allow a proper ending. But seriously, when I imagine that he could just *poof* and be gone just like that from my life, I feel exceptionally suffocatey and hyperventilatey and will it never to come to pass (which Steve also includes in my morbid thinking category). He is just the most important person in my life. If I think about it hard enough I want to keep him locked up at home so nothing bad could ever happen to him. Thank god I don't want kids because I'd freak every time they left the driveway. This exact thing is why I HATED the movie Practical Magic - the moment when Sandra Bullock thinks that she and her husband's love will overcome the curse but then there's that stupid cricket or whatever and she tries frantically to catch it but can't and her stupid husband dies anyway. NO. NO.

In other news, I officially applied to grad school for an ABS license, which will be a broad licensure allowing me to teach levels 1 and 2 of EBD, LD, and Autism and I can go back again to get licensed for 3 and 4. I went to the informational meeting and everyone there (prospective students as well as faculty) agreed that the type of license is a great investment and there's been a growing need for me-types.

Steve and I are also doing what we're calling "ghetto week" and seeing who can make the best of of $20 from Friday to Friday. This of course does not really include not spending anything, because it kind of ruins the fun. So we each got a $20 bill to spend on whatever we like for the week and we aren't allowed to spend anything more (excludes gas). It's easily doable, but we're so frivolous with the money we don't put in savings that it's a cute game for us to be frugal. Yes, we admit we are privileged, even with me working a crappy-paying job.
spritechan: (School Days - Katsura Knit)
My weekend was kind of a blur, mostly because I was deathly ill on Saturday.

Friday I was NOT IN THE MOOD for anything work because I was achey and my throat hurt. It was awesome then that only one of the four babies was present in the latter half of the day. But in the first half I had to continue working with the preschoolers on a dance myself and another teacher are preparing for the Spring Program, which entailed a lot of dancing and movement and was simply not cool. One of the parents of a baby let slip that one of the toddlers had bronchitis over the previous weekend (and said child had been coughing into my face all week), and I didn't know bronchitis was contagious. Now, I'm probably being a baby and don't have bronchitis since I have not been incubating a cold for a week or more or anything, but I've had a stuffy head, been feverish, severely aching and experiencing deep painful coughs that have contributed to a very unhappy throat. I've basically been overloading with DayQuil, Mucinex, Naproxen, and Emergen-C in an effort to rid myself of this BS as I am a giant crybaby when I'm sick and I hate going to work when sick. It seems to be relatively paying off, as my aches (the WORST for me, completely put me out of commission whenever I get them) have mostly subsided. The rest is manageable and I also bought cough drops, woo! But as a result, I lost the vast majority of my weekend to sleep/rolling around the bed/hobbling to various house locations pitifully, which was very disappointing as the weather was nice this weekend (in the 60's, where it's been in the 40's for the past week and will resume said crap this week). I was really motivated to get out and go running too!

I finished a Kindle book I recently purchased - 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think. I purchased it when reading through a blog in which the woman was going through a job slump and she happened to mention keeping track of her time and trying to figure out how to make more time for herself in order to work on her core competencies and feel good about what she does. The book is pretty interesting and I enjoyed it a lot. I really liked how she continuously reiterated the need to hone your skills and focus on what you're good at. A large part references families, but it's easy to apply to my own life as well. It's made me very excited to attend the informational meeting about graduate programs tomorrow. I also watched a documentary on the failing public school system on Netflix (Waiting for Superman, if you're interested), a really interesting documentary on being open-minded and taking a severely autistic (though high-functioning) boy to shamans to see if there's any way to help him (The Horse Boy), one on the Scrabble tournament in 2004, and a really cheesy one about quantum physics that actually presented some unique information that has made me want to project a more positive outlook on myself. Yeah, so I guess I knocked off a bunch of Netflix queue stuff, but didn't do anything I really wanted to.

Oh, I DID knit a quick scarf with some lovely new yarn
as seen here: )

Oh, and as long as I'm adding pics... )

Jenny, the woman who started dying my bangs, did awesome at letting the black mix with the pink and since I've stopped going to her (the drive is just so damn FAR), I've tried my damnedest to keep the look going. I think I do a pretty good job, and is very cheap - I paid $14 for the "demi-permanent" pink dye, and am getting many uses out of it. Versus $20-$40 a pop when going to Jenny, plus tip and gas both ways.

On Friday Steve and I spent the afternoon texting in Haiku. It was awesome and adorable and omg I love our relationship.

Pat broke up with Faith on Friday AT OUR HOUSE OVER THE PHONE and got back together with her today, which everyone in the friends group disagrees with and he will be receiving very deep glares from me over the next week.
spritechan: (TWEWY - Phones peek)
...I loved being a case manager.

There. I said it.

I loved following documentation guidelines and feeling productive, successful, and like I was making a difference. I loved feeling important, and like what I did mattered.


What I hated (and eventually drove me away) was the unpredictability of the clientele. I hated that I could have an entire day meticulously planned and it would all go to shit because one (or 4) clients were having crises, meltdowns, or in a sticky situation due to poor decisions or whatever that they felt entitled to have me fix.

I'm not saying my job is intolerable, because it's not. I can do this. But I hate feeling like a glorified babysitter in a negative setting, and I panic when I think about the lead teacher going on bed rest/maternity leave and I'm all by myself. The toddler classroom now has 13 kids to the teacher (when the ratio is supposed to be 7:1) and I'm terrified we'll get licensed for more babies before summer's up and I might get trapped with more than 4 babies. It'd be a nightmare. And I seriously don't like babies.

I may be looking at and potentially applying to basically the exact same job, only with the DD/TBI/etc population. I loved working with Autism and while it's my preferred area, it appears to be a lot of others' as well. Being "special" does not guarantee crisis all the time and certainly doesn't mean entitlement (though I won't say it doesn't exist, I have rarely seen it in the population I have met).

That is all. *sheepish*
spritechan: (Avatar - You added a rainbow)
Couple quick things-
  • Work meeting yesterday kept me until 8:20, not including the drive home (Ugh, no time!)
  • Today some of the women from work got together for drinks/dinner after work, so I made an appearance in an effort to get to know my coworkers, so I didn't get home until late again.
  • Tomorrow is International Day at work, and we're required to dress up. I bought a kimono and MAYBE an obi (I don't think it's the actual correct kind, but it's pretty), and spent a crapton of time ironing both. The obi was not saveable in terms of wrinkles though. I tried my best to tie a bow (see cut)* and then didn't want to undo it, and was effectively stuck inside it. Major comedy ensued as Steve tried to pull it off of me, and I was like a fat kid stuck in an inner tube. XD It didn't help that my skin was clammy from sweating in the effort to tie the freakin' material. I was all over the place in various forms of scrunchy, trying to be simultaneously as small and as skinny as possible!!! It was both embarrassing and hilarious.
  • It has been in the 60's and 70's the past couple of days. AMAZING!
  • Stuff has been happening regarding updates and such with Pam and dad, but I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow so I didn't want to try to write anything on it before getting more info... because it's exhausting updating every 40 minutes about it.

*Pictures quick )
spritechan: (Clannad - Okazaki Tomoya Hamburger?)
If only I wasn't tied to a man who desperately loves his family and friends. I would so, SO teach English overseas. At least for awhile. Probably in South Korea. But if I was alone, I'd be horrendously lonely. Suzi is teaching in Thailand right now, and taught in India prior to that. Jared didn't go with her to India (they hadn't been dating too long at the time that she left, but he DID visit!), but he did for Thailand. Max jelly. I feel like it'd be the easiest way to cheater-get-experience without actually having a degree. JFC I don't want to get another degree. I want experience to mean more.

Also, I finally decided that I need to work toward accepting that I am simply Chibi, and will always be chibi, and will not be skinny and flat. I AM CHIBI AND CHIBI IS CUTE. I love chibi characters so I should also love myself. Steve was all for this idea and told me in no  uncertain terms how attractive he finds me and always has. ;)

But I still need to work on my arms. It's very infuriating that spot training is so difficult, because I NEED not-flabby and fat arms. That's all I want. Pleeeeeaaaaaassssseeee! Seriously, been doing personal training since August with a fair amount of effort put on the arms, and there has been NO CHANGE to their size. Ugh. Bleh.
spritechan: (Bebop - Jet laugh)
Today with work was pretty depressing because I only had depressed clients... lol. I should think ahead next time I schedule them; it really brings me down by the end of the day!

I bought the majority of Steve's gifts today online and tomorrow I'm going to venture out for the final one. I'm super excited! We set a $175 limit for each other. Otherwise I don't actually know how much we spent on other people this year. We have so many to buy for! But it's nice having the money to be able to do that without worrying.

Speaking of money, Steve and I have begun looking for a new place once it stops being cold again. We moved here in April, but our lease is technically month to month so we can move whenever we want. I love our cute little ghetto place, because it is the right amount of space for us, but NOT the right amount of storage or kitchen space. The location is pretty good in terms of ease of access to highways and the cities we frequent, but not very quiet or even particularly safe. And receiving packages is HELL when it's from UPS.

The places that we want are generally apartments and townhomes (though I'm mentally ready to get a mortgage and a house, but Steve is holding back as a result of his student loan fears and whatnot, which is understandable), but they are expensive! Steve and I can comfortably afford a few hundred dollars than we pay now, but the exact specifications we want/need (want: in-unit washer and dryer, need: allowing two non-declawed cats) add a pretty high amount.

Interestingly, Nick was texting me today about how much he hates living with Pat, because all Pat does is complain about Scott (he also complains TO Scott, who DOES NOT CARE). Now, Scott is a horrible roommate. I give that to Pat. He leaves plates with food on them everywhere, doesn't do his dishes or clean up after himself. However, Steve warned Pat about this when they wanted to move in together, but Pat didn't listen. And now he spends every day being The Mom and nagging the other two. Nick jokingly suggested that he wanted to live with me and Steve, because while we are generally neat, we're not Nazis about cleanliness and have periods of leaving clothes on the floor or letting a few dishes pile up in the sink (bowls, not plates - because plates WOULDN'T FIT). In light of my recent apartment search, I actually considered the thought for a bit. Nick appears to be a good roommate. He keeps to himself mostly and is pretty laid-back. Getting a two-bedroom (with rooms not adjacent to each other) would be cheaper overall. Rent would not likely be split evenly as Nick makes far less than Steve or I do, but his contribution would definitely help and keep the rent for the two of us in our price range.

When I discussed the idea with Steve he got all giddy, because he never lived with roommates before and adores Nick so he'd kind of get his bro roommate time! XD I'd just have to come to terms with less privacy, but if Nick continues his current work schedule it won't be a huge issue, because he gets home around the time we go to bed. I'm super excited to move!

Also, a note about the weather... a few days ago it was 8 degrees, and yesterday it was in the 40's... the snow has mostly melted because of this. *I* don't mind the warm weather. :)
spritechan: (Spirited Away - Critter nap)
I've been having a super busy week, and we're going up north for Steve's niece and nephew's birthday (twins) this weekend. But! I DID take pictures of the apartment, and that is STEP ONE. And step two will be to post them, hopefully tomorrow. I swear I will get this done if it kills me.

Steve and I FINALLY broke in our new bikes! We biked about 5 miles, and while I was a wuss on this one steep hill and now my legs are killing me, overall I think I did well for not having used a bike in YEARS. I love biking! I'm sad that we learn to drive at 16 and drop a super awesome mode of transportation.

It's hard to get used to because my hometown is FLAT and you can get anywhere so fast, but Saint Paul and Oakdale are super goddamn hilly! One second you're zooming down a slope and the next you're crying because you have a mountain to scale. Well, I am, anyway. Steve laughs at me and does it no problem.

We also went out to dinner with my auntie Connie and her new boyfriend David. He seems nice and means well, and opened the car door for her. :DDD He makes Connie happy. Versus her ex-husband, who's a major creepwad but the father of her 17-year-old daughter so he's kinda around, and her long-time sort-of boyfriend Bob who's hilarious because of how serious and angry he is. He's just silly... but not the kind of guy Connie needs. So yay! He also won points for at least sort of recognizing my soot sprites tattoo, and telling me how he borrowed Connie Spirited Away and that she has yet to watch it. I smell a movie night coming on!!! I love her; she's great.

Okay! Time for bed for this girl. Anyone willing to give me a back rub?!
spritechan: (4minute sunglasses)
Having the time to finally get my desk cleaned out - one of my team leads used to have my desk before she was promoted. The desk was FILLED with outdated resources and forms. Like, to the brim. Some were useful and relevent, and I kept those, but I found some dated as far back at 2001 D: Programs change all the time; there's no way the same forms are still in use.

AND I got a resource binder set up. I finally figured out a way to organize all the random bits of papers that have resources on them, and I'm keeping that damn thing in my car AT ALL TIMES XD

Feels sooooo good.
spritechan: (Scorpio)
The level of disgust that I feel towards people who cover up sexual abuse crimes is almost immeasurable.

The Catholic church has been hiding their abuse of children for centuries, and this started because the people of the church wanted to ensure that property of men went to the church when they died, not families? The requirement of celibacy came about very early on in the church, because the church wasn't satisfied with the married bishops, etc. passing their land on to their sons. Nothing in the Bible says anything about being celibate as a member of the church, and the apostles had families. So what the fuck, Catholicism?

Many men who become a part of the church start at a very early age, like 14 years old. When they make these decisions to join the church, it's like they're halting their psychosexual development. They're fed all these rules about controlling themselves, when really they're just BEGGING for these... kids, really... to become pedophiles. They're not taught how to understand their bodies and the urges they feel, and they are discouraged from exploring these feelings. All of us know how pleasurable sexual feelings are since we're free to express them. But what about a 20-year-old (or what-have-you) priest who never learned to understand and channel his feelings? He works with children. He feels affectionate towards these children. He feels connected to these children. In effect, he's nearly at the same stage of psychosexual development they are at. Children are trusting, and naive. What better subjects to explore your sexual curiosity with without feeling like you're really breaking the rules?

Let's not forget that it's safe to assume that a large number of these men were ALSO abused as children, and are simply perpetuating what they learned as children themselves. Did it feel wrong, or bad, or uncomfortable when it happened to them? Certainly. Did they learn those behaviors from their abusers? Almost definitely. They first are against the actions, but then learn to accept them. Learn to squash their feelings and accept the fear and pain. It's just a part of life, and surely their priest, their vessel of Jesus, wouldn't do something to them that wasn't okay! And yet... they know it's not something they should be telling people. Because deep down it really hurts. It's scary. It's involving parts of their body that they were taught were private.

I firmly believe that if the Catholic church allowed their priests to have families, that this would happen a lot less. There would still be abusers within the church, but I think the number would be far fewer. Because these men would have been given the chance to grow into their sexuality and express it in a healthy way. Personally I think celibacy itself is appalling, but that's likely here nor there.

I don't think that pedophiles are inherently monsters. I think that they learned a specific way to behave, and found an outlet for their sexuality. I think that that outlet is viewed by the Catholic church as no worse than being sexual with an adult. It's just another form of "sex," in a world where "sex" is forbidden, and is probably considered lesser because they're children, and also because children are less likely to tell. I think that these priests are stuck in the wrong stage of psychosexual development, and they need help in order to correct that. By ignoring claims of abuse (and even pleas for help from the pedophile priests), the church is only exacerbating the problem, and preventing these men from getting the help they desperately need. 

I wish that we could live in a world where a priest could confess his feelings (hopefully it would only be urges, but likely it would be reported abuse) to his leader, and the leader could arrange for counseling, for therapy, to help them work through it. I really think that, especially at the beginning, these men could be helped in controlling those urges. Attraction towards children is likely never to go away, but at least they could understand why they CANNOT do that, and WHY it's so horrifically wrong for them to hurt children, and that what happened to them as kids (likely) is no less wrong. That THEY are victims too. I also wish that the Catholic church would realize how negative the requirement for celibacy really is, and repeal that. The cycle of pain and suffering just has to end, and it has to start somewhere. It has to start with the church facing their mistakes and taking steps to amend for what has been broken.

spritechan: (Shakugan no Shana)

-I was able to convince my parents to let me buy my 12-year-old brother August Halo: Reach. They're buying him XBox Live, and Mom wanted him to have the HP game. So, the rest of his friends are online playing Halo or CoD, and he gets to play Harry Potter, yayyyy! Paul wasn't really hard to convince, really. But I hope he's happy with it (he wants Assassin's Creed more, but no).

-Lunch with Paul was fast, and actually really nice. I can honestly say I didn't expect to feel that at ease.

-Bethany called me to worry about apartment stuff and gossip about someone we both know. Her saying things like, "Sorry I'm talking so much I need to tell someone/I have no one to talk to" is adorable. She of course has her bf Tony and her bff Sarah, but I think that they're not enough to talk to sometimes. And Mom's busy. So me! Default win.

-Steve. He's just... the best.

-Emails from Suzi are always a treat, even if they are inconsistent :)

spritechan: (Grim it's been a long day)
I am tiiiiired. TIRED TIRED TIRED. I got an okay amount of sleep yesterday, because I napped while Steve took my car for some bday shopping for me, and then let me be a bum and lay there while he played CoD. Then I went to class, and did my pointedly not listening to half of what the professor was saying because it was stupid and I was trying to sift through all her bullshit papers. And then because I was only half listening I had to go to the front as the only person who didn't use the previous half-hour to sign up for a presentation time. Which was much more funny than embarrassing because I always blush like mad, which makes Ana laugh, and make horrified faces at her, which makes her laugh harder. She completely shut down when she thought I had to go up to sign up for the pot luck too, but turns out THAT paper was being passed around (which earned her an even more exaggerated shocked look). Our class had about 10 people yesterday, and anyone who thinks a bigger class is more embarrassing to be in front of, I think you need to rethink the amount of space a small class gets, and because it's so small, it's more intimate in general. And therefore scarier. Oh and she's usually really cute and well-spoken, but when we were doing group work in a study area and were WHISPERING (the area is not a library or even recommended for quiet), this guy kept turning around to glare in our direction. While I would giggle at him every time he did that, Ana got miffed and muttered, "Yeah well he can lick me where I pee!!! *scowl*" Dawnielle was like, "...WHAT?! Where you PEE?!" "Well, it's better than where I poop!" Yes, she 25.

After class I came home and Steve and I took a walk around the horseshoe of the neighborhood because it was really nice out - it's gonna get real cold real soon, and we gotta cherish our warmer days now. Then we layed down for sleep. It would have been a delicious 4-5 hours of sleep, except I kept waking up in a panic thinking I was late for work, and Steve was having very active dreams which caused him to speak out in his sleep at least three times - one is my subject line, another was SINGING about some dream nonsense, and the other I can't remember because I was sleepy too. And I had some weird dream where his ex BFF Andy would hide in the neighborhood and take pictures of him when he was riding his bike XD wtf. I've never even met Andy. When I got up to shower I asked Steve if he wanted to come (we shower together nearly every day - it's one of the places where we can just chat and relax. The shower is not a fun place IRL to for real mess around in) and he said yeah, so I started the shower, got in... did my shampoo... did my conditioner... no Steve? So I hopped out and he was like half sitting up with his eyes half-open, looking confused. I asked him if he was coming and he popped up and walked dazedly to the bathroom. A few minutes later he told me he'd been dreaming that we weren't in the shower yet, but sitting next to each other to wake up, so when I was suddenly in the doorway, wet and wrapped in a towel, it was very surprising. :P Silly boy.
I am not motivated for anything but sleep right now! It's all I can think about omg. I already told Steve that I'm probs crashing when I get home until my meeting at 6. Steve doesn't work tonight so he fell back asleep when I left even though he said he didn't want to.

Oh! I finally get to get my hair done tomorrow. I'm meeting Mom and we're going together. After that Steve and I are going to Nick's sister Megan's for a get-together. Some drinking and rock band, although it'll be very low-key. Megan just invited people from Spoogie's wedding party (and me) to hang out since there wasn't really a fun reception or anything. I'm excited because Megan and Ross are super cool. It starts at 7 so I think it'll be over around midnight. Megan and Ross are parents, after all! 
spritechan: (Tomoya hugs Nagisa)
The bento for today was AMAZING. Yum yum yum:
-Rice and sprouts
-Tomagayaki (basically an omelette with nori seaweed and folded cute. I make one with three eggs and cut it in half so we each get 1.5 eggs)
-Red/yellow/orange sweet pepper and sweet onion confit
-Sweet and sour cabbage with soy sauce for dipping
-Half an apple and half a banana

Mmm-mm! Tasty.

TGIF! I'm off for the weekend in less than 5 hours! It's going to be really weird tonight because Steve works tomorrow (aka today-Friday night), and ever since I've known him he's always had Fridays off. But this allows for me to then hang out with our friends if I so desire! I probably will, might as well. I never see them! Maybe I'll see Faith if she comes up from Mankato; haven't seen her in awhile! I think she comes up every weekend to hang out with Pat (her bf/my friend).

basically I've spent my whole night, about 2 hours, doing LJ stuff. So much commenting and replying and messaging! So much words! And I added a new LJ friend who posts tonsss of pictures of her travels in Japan, so of course I need to spend time looking at all of them! ^_^ I scared Steve with the picture she posted of the Japanese wasps/hornets/EVIL BEES that can kill you. They are HUGE. Even I would probably run away, and usually I just have a stare-down with bees, because you know, they need to know who's boss ;) But Steve is basically terrified of all insects/arachnids etc. I don't kill spiders and I feel guilty killing most other insects, except ants and flies (and even then, I might feel *a little* guilty). But this spring we had SOOOO MANY brown spiders running around. It appears that an entire sac survived the winter and they all lived in our basement. That was annoying, having to move so many outside.

(Friends quote break: Rachel: "What?! At least I don't freak out if I see a spider!"
Ross: "Oh yeah! THAT'S the same! I'm sure there are over 30 different species of POISONOUS SWINGS!!"
Referring to Rachel being afraid of geting her hair caught in swings at the park)

It's still pretty chilly around here, like 60-degrees a day. It's really depressing. I love when it stays warm through October and it's not a chore to go to Apple Orchards. I get pretty ornery when I'm cold. :P But I love going apple picking in the fall!!! It hasn't been TOO bad though, because sometimes it's also been pretty humid so it feels nicer than it is. <3 MN humidity. 
spritechan: (Spirited Away - No-Face)
Oh my. Stupid people upset me.

After work Steve and I stayed upstairs for a couple hours while I made a lot more bento items - garlic and butter asparagus, miso marinated eggplant, sweet and sour cabbage, and chopped up and soaked some apples for today's bentos. It's so nice having it ready when I leave for work! And Steve was cute and texted me tonight saying all his coworkers were jealous of his awesome bento meal. For some reason I actually put soy sauce on my rice tonight, whereas normally I'm fine eating it plain, as it tempers the saltiness of the other foods.

School continues to go well. I continue to have a strong dislike for my professor, but I was comforted when I remembered I get to evaluate her at the end of the semester. I always put comments in the extra space for them, especially if the professor was great. I plan to let the professor know how condescending and rude she is, because she's one of the higher-ups in the university, and she needs to stop trying to  constantly make us feel like we're an inch tall. The mean age of my class of 10-12 people is probably 35. Stop being such ass, kthx. On a brighter note, I've gotten A's on all of my papers so far, and will probably continue to do so. Despite our clashes, I still know what she wants, and I don't stress like my peers do. One of my group members got *gasp* AN "A MINUS" on her most recent paper, and she was very upset. I bet that was my mom when she took classes at Augsburg. She was ALWAYS fretting about "getting a 4.0" in each class. Not, apparently, realizing that as long as you meet the minimum requirements for graduation, nothing else really matters. People who go to Metro are NOT aspiring to go to grad school at Yale, I promise. Metropolitan State University is a non-traditional small urban school whose demographic is averaging 31 years old. I'm an anomaly, but I've always been more comfortable with people older than I am. Traditional colleges with peers suck. Because my peers like staying in dorms and going to house parties and being drunk and throwing up. No thanks, I'm almost 23, I work in the Big Girl World and kinda feel like you should grow up too.

I got my messenger bag in the mail the other day from gesshoku.org (it's a major weeaboo site and while it has a lot of facepalming attributes, some of the products are GREAT). It's a black messenger bag (HELL with cat hair, gotta keep an eye on it) with "Chu" written in pink hirigana. I looooove it! It's my new purse. I've had the tiniest purse known to man for FAR too long.

On Saturday Steve, Nick and I are going to see Patton Oswald (think... the short guy who lives with his mother on King of Queens). I know he's actually pretty funny, but I can't remember how much of his stuff I've seen. He's been on Comedy Central, that's all I know. But Steve and Nick really like him, so it'll be a fun thing to do. AND because Pat's too poor and Joe Waid's not interested, we actually get Nick to ourselves for once. It's a really rare opportunity  - Steve has already stated that it's not a date with Nick the third wheel; it's we get the privilege to be going on a date with Nick XD He's also joked that if I ever broke up with him for Nick that he wouldn't even feel right being mad. Yes, he loves Nick that much. For the record, I think Steve is NUMBER ONE AMAZING GUY. Nick is just a cool friend to have. He's quiet, moves and talks very deliberately and slowly (quite the opposite of me), will pipe up with some hilarious quip out of the blue but mostly play Disgaea on his DS, and is all-around just nice.

My scarf and the charts I posted on Ravelry are quite popular - posting the charts for free really got the attention. It makes me really happy because I don't want people to have to go through the hell I went through looking for Zelda stuff. I'm still shocked there were no available charts (and the ONE Link chart).

The rest of my work night will entail Kanji-learnin' and watching a movie! Ta!
spritechan: (Hope the other things I say don't mean)
As Steve and I are running out of shows to have running in the background while we relax (and we have completely exhuasted Friends, we've seen each episode about a hundred times), I got him started on Sex and the City. The problem is, unlike Friends, I don't own Season 2 or the second half of Season 6. This is exacerbated by the fact that I had a TON of discs in a case here at work and some dumb bitch client stole it for crack money (and she was long gone by the time the theft was discovered, she left and never came back). So about half my Sex and the City discs are gone. The good news is Steve likes it anyway (and shares my INTENSE love for Aiden and Steve).

After he left for work today I went to sleep my extra 3 hours, and instead of having a pleasant, dreamless sleep I was confronted with a TERRIFYING dream about velociraptors. It was different from my normal raptor dreams because it had NOTHING to do with Jurassic Park this time, only I guess the raptors were called raptors but looked like mini versions of T-rexes and believe me, raptors look nothing like them. I woke up a couple times, heart pounding, but I had to fall back asleep and try to conclude it, ya know? It ended up turning into something like a movie, and Lost characters were there (Shannon died and Sawyer was there too and I think he died as well). I didn't die so that's the good news. Haha. It'd been awhile since I had a velociraptor dream.

My interview went well, I'll hear the results early this week. I'm sooo hoping I get it. Especially because they are closing I-94 EVERY WEEKEND and I have to drive a super long way around it to get here in 40 minutes, not to mention driving home Monday morning in rush hour. But this new position is located like 10 minutes from my house and was a dream to drive to. Plus it'll be 30 more hours a week AND as an internal transfer it won't be starting a whole new job. YES.
spritechan: (Spirited Away - No-Face)
Lately I've been having weird vivid dreams! Some that are really long and some that are really short.

I remember dreaming in cartoon the other week, but I can't remember what show it was! I think it might have been Higurashi.

The other week I had a weird dream about me and Steve and Sally all riding together from somewhere. I was trying to be nice to Sally and so I was laughing all politely at everything she said and I had on my huge "I am totally interested in what you have to say" smile. I was uncomfortable being in the same car with them and thought it was so weird she wanted to be friends. WEEEIIIIRRRDDD. I've never even met her. But Andy is now trying to be friends with Steve so I get to tease him about it a lot :P

I dreamed the other night about being in an ambulance with a girl I've never met but have heard of because she's linked to several people I know (Kristen) so my mind couldn't decide if she looked like Generic Blond Skank or Kinda Chubby And Awkward, and she was dating Andy instead of Sally, and the paramedic knew how all of us were linked to each other?

And today I had an extremely long dream after Steve left for work where I was... Batman? Like, I was wearing an outift and chasing bad guys down with a glider that had a very sharp pointy front and it kept chopping people in half. But when I talked I sounded like me, and I had my own thoughts. I flew around A LOT on my glider because it wasn't an exact science so I had to redirect myself and stuff. After I killed this douchey fat guy that was really pissing me off (it was hard to do!), I had to go chase down the Joker. He was pretty much just a real-life version of the one in the animated series and some of the comics - skinny, but maybe a bit scrawnier than in cartoon form, evil, great (although Heath Ledger's Joker gets me too). I had to try several sneaky ways to catch him off guard, and in the end I wasn't able to sneak up on him with my glider, which was good anyway because even though I was sort of Batman, I also still found him incredibly hot. And when we had our actual confrontation in this weird rundown warehouse, I guess he doesn't like his own blood so I threatened him by cutting his face or neck with a razor blade. We were in this interesting grip where I couldn't tell if he was restraining me or I was restraining him (and I definitely was no longer Batman). And then I got real close to him slowly and kissed the corner of his mouth and told him that I loved him. Then for some reason I let him walk away from me, and as he sauntered away he turned around and said with a sexy smirk, "Maybe a little." which to my mind meant that he loved me too. But I only had time to dwell while gliding because I had to quick free some kids he trapped in a mine shaft. It was great. And I may have an unhealthy crush on the Joker.

Oh man!

May. 2nd, 2010 11:29 pm
spritechan: (Spirited Away - No-Face)
It has been so long since I last posted! I'm sorry! I've been too mentally exhausted to continue. Still feel that way but guilt has overridden it all.

Long story short:
-Biological parents got in a brief catfight about child support and general support of my sister (but by proxy me). I was able to sort of mediate the sides, that is, I told each what the other wanted and they agreed upon it. Since my dad can't seem to ever get his damn stories straight.
-Learned some perspective on my dad's situation concerning being a part of our childhoods. It's all well and good and I feel bad for him, but because he lies so much I'm wary of the validity of his story is all.
-My next paycheck should be fairly large in comparison to my normal ones from all the shifts I picked up. Fingers crossed. I have actually begun legit paying off my credit card and putting money into savings. Yay for being able to not be so in debt!
-My whole month of May is sooo booked with events it's crazy! So busy.
-I am officially going to be volunteering at a center that works with abusive families, mostly with a lot of parenting programs and programs geared at reunification and court-ordered visitations. It's gonna be pretty cool, I only hope to secure a job sometime soon.
-Stuff at home is going swimmingly as usual, we get along great and are happy.
-Pat and I have gotten really close these last few weeks. I just love him. He's great and cute and fun, but also still silly and stupid, but in his own Dams way. I'm glad he's secured a girl who's good for him. We might be going to soundset together, just us. Steve said he just really likes spending time with me so it makes sense that he wouldn't want to go with Jorden or god forbid bring Bryce along. Also Pat having a cute girlfriend makes for LOTS of cute double-dates. And innuendos.
-I had a terrifying crisis of dealing with a super hypoglycemic client. I guess it wasn't SO bad, as it could have been worse. I caught her in the low 40's (it was lucky I even FOUND her testing supplies), but even after I forced juice down her throat I called 911 anyway. Better to be safe than sorry and she wouldn't stay conscious. The paramedics were sweet.
-Which reminds me, I like a lot of my clients and I like my job overall, but I don't feel like I'm doing enough or getting enough experience, or keeping my skills from going rusty. My friends are all jealous that I get to sit around knitting or watching Lost or being on Facebook, and I totally get that, but I'm being paid some pretty good money for the position and I do NOTHING. Oh wait, I make food. Right. And deal with the occasional scary-ass crisis sometimes. Even my med skills feel a little off. Ick.
-My degree is so close I can taste it.
-A little homework and then knitting and watching Lost!

April 2017

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