spritechan: (Higurashi - Nipaa)
So, I had a really nice weekend. I took a half day on Friday for PTO and spent the afternoon and evening with the lovely Breanna and her man Lamin. Lamin is from Africa and so are the other people I met that they spend their time with. Lamin ADORES Bre and it's very obvious if you're with him for four seconds. It was really, really fun and Lamin made what he calls "African Sauce" - a mixture of an oily soup base with carrots, peppers, onions, etc. He also cooked drumsticks on the bone to the point that the meat just fell off when you ate it. They normally make it spicy but Lamin tried VERY hard to make it not spicy for me, the honored guest. It turned out very, very good. You just pour the whole thing over rice and yay! Nommy meal. Bre complained about the rice the whole time (it was very dry, I think because Lamin was concerned about keeping me too late and rushed it) while I just laughed at her because dry rice, while not preferred, is not a big deal. XD She's so funny. Lamin has a good sense of humor to match hers.

Oh, and I had to deal with lame work stuff WHILE ON PTO because that's how the job is sometimes. Bleh.

Conveniently this took until about 10pm, at which time I crashed at home for an hour and a half until I was surprised with.. GASP! Scavenger HUUUUNT! I was most thoroughly surprised/tricked AGAIN because Steve let me get all changed into comfy clothes and snuggle into bed. He kicked off the Hunt by taping the first clue to a confused Grim's cone (Grim was Mr. Freeze XD). It was Batman themed, so each person involved got be a villain for me to foil. Scott was a chilling and AMAZING Zsasz, Nick was the Joker, Noah was Calendar Man (complete with a calendar cape and shirt with an X'ed out 19 on it ahahah). Pat was the Riddler, and Faith was a nearly-nude captured Poison Ivy that I had to save (she was secluded from the boys' eyes in Pat's room and Pat was the one to write her part). Steve, was Alfred, my trusty Butler. It was so much fun.

Gifts I got include a Harley Quinn figure from Arkham Asylum, 2 Nintendo DS games, slippers from American Eagle, a full replacement set of hardcover Harry Potter books in a wizard's trunk from my AMAZING boyfriend (as my entire collection save for book 7 disappeared mysteriously a few years ago...), and a buttload of candy from my less money-fortunate friends. Oh, and Calendar man got me a calendar XD Pat went on about he had planned to prove me wrong and NOT give me an I.O.U. (I have no idea how many I've collected from him ahaha) but that the item was GUARANTEED shipping and it didn't arrive... so I got an I.O.U. A couple days later he finally checked his email and it turns out he never bought it because he entered his payment information wrong. I LOL'd. I win again!

Saturday it SNOWED. Like, 3 inches. The weather was trolling me hard that day. "Muahaha it's yo birfdai? HAVE SOME SNOW. >:D" It actually wasn't ALL that cold out and it will probably be melted by tomorrow as it's been in the mid-40's today and is supposed to be in the 50's tomorrow. Steve and I went to dinner with my parents on Sunday, and it was delicious! Prior to that Steve and I decided to hit the B-ville mall because we both needed to suck it up and buy some pants that actually FIT. Steve ended up with a good haul, including 3 pairs of "skinny" jeans from the Guys section. I say "skinny" because they're not skinny in the sense of girl pants skinny, which is what he normally wears. They are not leg-hugging like he is used to. I rather like it. Sexay ^_^ We were on our way to the Juniors section when we spotted my parents! I went BOUNDING towards them to surprise them, when I noticed they were carrying what was obviously gifts for me. I was like two feet away from them when I skidded to a halt and started shoving Steve away as fast as I could! We were able to hide from them in the slipper section, but they were rounding the escalators where we needed to be! For some reason they circled back, and Steve was like, "What if they come around that corner and see us crouching here?!" At which point I burst into quiet laughter and said that it would be hilarious. We were able to escape and sneak back upstairs and buy Steve's things and high-tail it out of there! We were very surprised when we saw August at dinner, because if he had been with them he SURELY would have seen us and ruined our noble plot not to spoil that we saw some of my gifts! Luckily they turned out to be last-minute bday gifts and not for Christmas so I didn't have to hold that secret for long. It was really fun to play Stealth Escape Mode.

I really hate spoiling surprises so if I ever do, I NEVER give it away that I knew. It just deflates the excitement the person has for the gift they're giving you! I never do it on purpose, because I LOVE being surprised.

We took Monday off as well, and while I enjoyed napping most of it away, I played a good chunk of Ar Tonelico. Steve was playing Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword all weekend. I had terrible sleep Monday night because I kept dreaming about work, all anxious and stressed out. Last night I dreamed about buying groceries and losing one of the bags with the perfect pizza in it, and going back to the grocery store and finding exotic Chobani yogurt flavors. :P

Grim hasn't been feeling well. He's not been eating, and he projectile vomited all over me and the bed this morning. He was too quick for me! So he's been spending copious amounts of time just laying in one spot. Poor guy :( But! The cone comes off today! I hope he improves then.
spritechan: (Clannad - Tomoya Nagisa hs intense hug)
Last week I had all-day trainings on Thursday and Friday. They were super awesome and helpful, and half the people there were from my company, and 75% of those were from my specific location. The first day I was ultra crabby and tired from having been kept up by Grim all night, and I fully intended on being antisocial and spending the lunch hour sleeping in my car. Somehow I ended up with the MHR clique, and then life got better from there. On Friday after the training, I had to drive home from Minneapolis in rush hour, pick up Steve, and drive back in WORSE rush hour (because of the omgsomuch construction), and then wait in line outside to get into the venue because they were running a half hour late. The concert itself was amazing, and Lights is adorable. I fell more in love with her at the concert. She has a very cute stage presence and is clearly there because she enjoys it. The venue was really small and cozy. Afterwards we waited outside in the cold for 45 minutes so we could get an autograph. We were almost at the front of the line to begin with, so the majority of the waiting was just her changing and getting prepped for a billion autographs. She came out in an adorable winter coat (many people were in t-shirts and even I was just in a thin, zip-up hoodie) because it was DEFINITELY cold by 10:45pm in Minnesota. I got a signature on her album, and Steve and I each got to give her a hug! Yay! We're pretty much BFFs now ;)

On Saturday Steve and I went to Nick's sister's for a Halloween party, like we have done since we started dating. I was Catwoman, Faith was Supergirl, Steve, Nick, Scott, and Pat all went as characters from Final Fantas'y tactics. We mostly sat around and talked, and Nick's sister tried to set him up with a girl she worked with who went as a "retro zombie teacher." She came only knowing Megan, and was able to tolerate like 20 people she didn't even know. She was funny and cute, and shares similar interests, and now we all want her in the group regardless of whether Nick dates her. XD Everyone added her to Facebook but we can't Facebook stalk her because she either just got a Facebook, or doesn't put a lot of information to the public (even her pictures are only from Halloween, and she untagged herself in everyone's photos, leaving only ones she took!). Frustrating, but workable, haha.

On Sunday we ran some errands and then went to dinner with my family for Paul's birthday. It was pretty fun.

Yesterday morning after we got out of the shower I noticed Grim standing kinda funny in the corner by the bookshelves. He looked pretty stiff and his tail was shaking like it does when he's straining in the litter box. I pinned him down and felt him all over to see if he'd yelp, and he didn't. Then he walked around a little and made a couple sad meows before laying down, super-stiffly. He did this like 4 different times over the next half hour - he kept laying in positions that he must've thought would trick us into thinking he was comfortable. Like, on his back or side for tummy pets, curling his front paws to be cute, etc. I was not fooled! He was sooo sad and stiff. He was not pleased to get put in the carrier.

The vet said he was blocked but that his bladder wasn't full (aka I'm ridiculously in tune with Grimmy). She said when she went to unblock him that she was shocked at how small his pee hole is. Which is because of the scarring, and was always my worst fear/knowledge. When I clean the litterboxes it has always been very clear which pees were his and which were Nero's. Nero pees grapefruits and Grim pees... like prunes (and Grim used to pee grapefruits). She also said she had thought there was a stone in there because there was so much grit. Poor kitty :( We had a very serious talk about surgery vs putting him down. Actually we had a couple talks about the surgery throughout the day. Lucky for me I didn't have any work appointments yesterday (and I was able to move my Depo appointment to the afternoon) because I spent over 2 hours at the vet and then spent much of the rest of the day crying. I burst into tears at some point while waiting at the vet, started crying reading a magazine at the doctor's office, and pretty much any time I imagined a life without Grim. He's MY AGE in cat years. He is NOT going to die. I cried when I thought about the cost and how I was going to pay for it.

Steve and I talked it over via text all day, and in the end I asked for a personal line of credit from the bank that covers such things as "consolidating debt, tuition expenses, home improvements, and unexpected expenses". I was approved for far more than the surgery will likely cost, and the interest is 11.75% right now vs whatever like 29% on a credit card (or 3). I started to cry when telling the banker about my situation. But I was able to get it under control and she smartly waited until that point to express sympathy or else there would have been for real waterworks and comical inability to understand me. lol.

I spoke with the vet again and she stated that she talked to a surgeon that she trusts very much with the surgery. He works just down the street from the emergency clinic and said he might be able to swing the surgery for almost half the original cost (though I'm not sure how and will find out tomorrow - I am not willing to compromise Grim's pain for cheaper expenses). I am also transferring all of the cats' stuff to that clinic, because I don't trust Banfield and never want to go there again. I scheduled a consult + surgery for tomorrow morning before my appointments, and Steve is working his hardest to get at least a half day so I don't have to do it alone. I could have left Grim at the vet for the next couple of nights for less transportation trauma, but I think he is less traumatized overall by being home. I had to go in the back to get him into his kennel because he wouldn't let any of the techs touch him, and he had the "bad animal" towl over his cage :( I always feel bad because he's so sweet generally. He was VERY hissy and had stuck himself into the corner - for a minute I actually thought he might bite or scratch me, he was so upset. But he didn't and I got him into his carrier with little issue.

He's currently taking antibiotics to prevent infection, buprenorphine for pain (we're good friends with it by this time), and instead of the muscle relaxant he's had in the past, they prescribed him a small dose of an actual tranquilizer usually used to prep for anesthesia, to prevent him from straining and reblocking over the next two nights. I moved all of the cats' items (water, food, litter boxes) to our room. Well, the litter boxes are technically in the hallway but I can see them at all times. I also took away all dry food and give Grim treats after taking his medicine. He has made a permanent residence between the catboxes and the food, and hasn't drank ANY water that I've seen, but at least he is happily eating the wet food. The medicine is an appetite suppressant and can upset kitty tummies so I imagine he just isn't feeling it. He's been high ever since we got home - rubbing on EVERYTHING in his little zone, purring like a maniac if I pet him, wanting lots of pressure-intense pets. He also has spent a lot of time just staring blankly at everything, but not in the listless way as when he was doped up in the past. I would guess he's having some sort of hallucinatory effects, to be honest!

All this has pissed Nero off a great deal, as always. He's only used the litter box once and I haven't seen him eat or drink. Though he often drinks out of the bathtub because there's always water dripping from the faucet. He's mad because Grim smells funny and appears to be "guarding" everything. It's quite amusing to watch. Every so often Grim will get this crazy idea to taunt Nero, so he'll run super-enthusiastically over to him (but not even touch him!), and Nero will freak out and hiss and stumble backwards like a doof and get all offended. But mostly Grim just lays on the ground, perking up if you pet him.

I spent the night just moping in bed, not motivated to do anything but watch Steve play Persona 3 and Tumblr. My dad called me, all concerned because of the most recent Hyperbole and a Half, which I "shared" on Facebook. I explained to him that I HAVE been struggling a lot with depression over the past 2 months especially, but it's nothing new. I just really thought that was an accurate portrayal of what depression feels like. If I didn't have guilt, and the very real knowledge that if I were to allow myself to succumb like Allie and so many other people, life would only get that much harder. I'm a functioning depressive, but that doesn't mean I don't wish with all my heart that I could just lay in bed for weeks or months. I've done it before. But now I am accountable in different ways and it's not really an option right now. So I sulkily continue to sort-of function. But it was adorable that he called and wanted to talk about it. He admitted that he's coming to terms with these types of issues (finally! Around a decade ago he referred to Pam's medication as Quack Pills and scoffed at the idea of counseling), and encouraged me to seek help if I need it. I've been considered medication again, but I don't remember it really helping in the past, and I just don't have time for counseling. It was a pretty good talk, and I swear I like my dad more and more as we age. He's a pleasant man these days.
spritechan: (Spirited Away - Critter nap)
I've been having a super busy week, and we're going up north for Steve's niece and nephew's birthday (twins) this weekend. But! I DID take pictures of the apartment, and that is STEP ONE. And step two will be to post them, hopefully tomorrow. I swear I will get this done if it kills me.

Steve and I FINALLY broke in our new bikes! We biked about 5 miles, and while I was a wuss on this one steep hill and now my legs are killing me, overall I think I did well for not having used a bike in YEARS. I love biking! I'm sad that we learn to drive at 16 and drop a super awesome mode of transportation.

It's hard to get used to because my hometown is FLAT and you can get anywhere so fast, but Saint Paul and Oakdale are super goddamn hilly! One second you're zooming down a slope and the next you're crying because you have a mountain to scale. Well, I am, anyway. Steve laughs at me and does it no problem.

We also went out to dinner with my auntie Connie and her new boyfriend David. He seems nice and means well, and opened the car door for her. :DDD He makes Connie happy. Versus her ex-husband, who's a major creepwad but the father of her 17-year-old daughter so he's kinda around, and her long-time sort-of boyfriend Bob who's hilarious because of how serious and angry he is. He's just silly... but not the kind of guy Connie needs. So yay! He also won points for at least sort of recognizing my soot sprites tattoo, and telling me how he borrowed Connie Spirited Away and that she has yet to watch it. I smell a movie night coming on!!! I love her; she's great.

Okay! Time for bed for this girl. Anyone willing to give me a back rub?!
spritechan: (Avatar - Dancing Dragon)
This is for Athena, hoping she didn't see it somehow )

Second, ZOMG f(x)'s ACTUAL ALBUM JUST CAME OUT GUHHHHHH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER AND EVER FOR IT. Omg. Girl crush asplode. Korean lust out of control.

Work today was... hard. Lots of paperwork and dealing with the one specific client. So many things to remember and document and keep track of!! And I missed an appointment D: It worked out, but I felt like an ass. On the bright side, I got to talk to my old program manager, Jeremiah, because I want to refer a client to him. It was cute.

I got my tires replaced and now my car moves like a dream in comparison. Fleet Farm gives amazing lifetime service - 30-day free tire replacement and 50% cost after that, free rotation and alignment for the life of the tire, plus free flat repair for the life of the tire! My biggest fears squashed! They also want me to go back after 100 miles to double-check that the... lug nuts or... whatever... are still on there nice and tight. I replaced a blinker bulb yesterday and today I noticed one of my rear brake lights is out too D: HAAAAAATE cars.

Grimmy is cute sometimes... )

You can see a teaser of some of the wall color. As of now I still want to post a separate entry on the whole painting thing, because I want it to be image-heavy. Maybe this weekend! I plan on visiting my sister and nephew on Saturday, and on Sunday going to my dad's house to spend time with their family, because Pam likes getting together on Easter.

Steve got Portal 2 yesterday and it looks sooo great. Of course I'm a storyline junkie, and this has an amazing, silly, and comedic storyline! But it looks far too difficult for me. I am spatially challenged and would probably kill myself.

I'm rather sad that it looks like I simply won't have the time to respond as much as I like, ever. But I promise I read every entry you guys post! I loooove your entries and it makes me sad that I can't keep up with them all the time. But I'll try my best. Just be okay with some comments that are maybe more concise and less involved, but know that the thought is there and it's not done as an afterthought <3

ALSO PEE ESS It has SNOWED HERE twice this week. Fuck you 30-degree weather. Fuck you week. I hate you. You snowed on me all morning and got my glasses wet. And I was cold. Oh yeah, and fuck you. D:
spritechan: (Lost - Jin and Sun)
So, it turns out that the problem with my phone WAS the battery XD I got the new phone in the mail, and it wouldn't turn on! When exchanging phone units, you keep your sim, charger, and battery, btw. So we took it into the T-Mobile store, and the woman got it to START the turn-on process (at which point Steve and I were gaping, because we couldn't get it to do ANYTHING), and then she literally threw the battery and went in the back and found a spare (yayyy no waiting for a new one to be shipped!). It's really cool that I got a new phone anyway, without dents, and a clean slate. My pictures and apps transferred to the new unit (I had only a couple - an egg timer and stop watch XD). I added a really cool app that claims to show the CallerID of incoming calls, and purports to have a call-blocking feature. I'm testing it out with a telemarketer that calls me ALL the time. They stopped calling for a couple weeks after calling 2-4 times every day for several months, but it started again last week. I'm hoping it actually DOES block the calls, especially since I know for a fact that the dial-outs are a machine until they hear a voice, at which point you are transferred to a real person (I've tried to ask them to stop calling before).

If AT&T actually buys T-Mobile (the merger is still planned but not a hundo percent, last I heard), I'm totally getting an iPhone if they ever offer it. ^_^ Although, at this point, they're still saying they won't. Depending on how the merger goes, I might actually switch carriers. As discussed previously, I already pay a large chunk to T-Mobile. If prices were to change due to AT&T messing with the data plan prices and whatnot (T-Mobile's is cheaper than AT&T's), I'd probably wait until I was able to break the contract without penalty, via the contract opening up as a result of this merger, and maybe get Verizon? I never hear anything about Sprint, and Verizon's the main competition for AT&T. *shrug* Who knows?!

On Saturday I went out to dinner with my dad's family. It was nice, we just talked a lot and had a good time. Nothing major. On the way home I noticed I needed oil, so I went to get some from a nearby gas station. Then I noticed I didn't have my wallet. Crap. I last saw it at the restaurant we were at, because I had taken it out to show my ID for a margarita. When we got there, the hostess asked if I needed a kids menu. A kid's menu that says '8 and under' on it. Now, I know I may look young, but you gotta be kidding! XD I thought it was hilarious and she was super embarrassed.

Anyway. So, I was worried about running out of oil, because I don't know at what point my car tells me I need it. Is it DIRE? Or just a , "Hey, you should put a couple quarts in me in the near future, but it's all g for a little longer!" But driving to get my wallet was really the only option, unless I could pay the cashier in a few coins and plushies. I typed the location into my handy phone GPS and got there just fine, and they had it waiting for me (there was a terrible moment as I neared the location where I feared it fell out in my dad's car and wasn't at the restaurant at all)! Then there was the issue of putting cool oil in a hot car, but at 11pm in a strange area, I didn't feel like waiting 20 minutes. I need an oil change anyway. The old Leah would have gotten upset, panic-stricken, and likely angry as a reaction, but I was very proud of how calm and accepting I was. I attribute some of this to self-growth, but mostly to Steve teaching me how to accept the things I can't change, and even if they suck, it's better to have a good attitude than a shitty one. <3

On Sunday Bethany called to vent about how stressed she is because their downstairs neighbor is harassing her and Sarah about the kids running around the apartment. Bethany said she and Sarah weren't home for the initial incident, so they went and talked to her on their own time. They describe the lady as a meth head (scraggly, skinny, rotted teeth), and that she said around 8 or 9pm she needs to "wind down" and that the kids need to be quiet. Bethany said the kids go to bed at 9pm. The lady mentioned that it's fine in the morning and during the day though, so Sarah said, "...so, you're home all day?" Meant to get a grasp of the lady's schedule and to probably somewhat insinuate that she doesn't have a difficult schedule, and the lady took it as quite insulting. :P She also yelled at them about cigarette butts on her deck, but Bethany says they never throw their butts, and it's probably the people above them. I just told her to complain to the managers if she doesn't stop, because they need to be able to live. Cayden just turned 1 and Tristan just turned 2; they don't understand why they can't play "too loud", and Cayden's a chunker who just learned to walk so he naturally walks heavy. I just feel bad because that EXACT situation is what Bethany was worried about. Thank god Steve and I live on the ground floor, seriously. I can't stand that stuff.

Oh, and this is my last week with People Inc. I'm not mad at it, nor do I hate it, but since I have a tag about leaving a job, I'm using it XD I'm really excited to start my new job, and to have a week off inbetween to prepare, and also to switch my sleep schedule. It's going to be so weird! Steve and I packed most of our things on Saturday. All we have left is a few odds and ends, all the big stuff (furniture, shelves, computer etc.), the systems we're using, and clothes we need for the next 2 weeks. Otherwise, we're getting ready to go! I wish we could just drop by and throw the boxes in the place even if we can't unpack them yet. So antsy!
spritechan: (Sgt. Frog - One big happy family)
A photo that makes you laugh )
spritechan: (Grim it's been a long day)
Wow, it feels like forever since I've really been on the internet. And with that said, I'm only partially able to be on. As I've mentioned in the past, the work computers are woefully not updated, so I can't see half the things you guys are posting (such as tumblrs, pics, etc.). D: I'll have to catch up more tomorrow - normally it'd be fine but I'm not working with Isaac tonight so I'm in a different office with internet that is apparently incompatible with my laptop.

Soooo.... we got ANOTHER death snowstorm snowpocalypse. About 12 inches yesterday. AND IT WAS IN THE 50's LAST WEEK. For like a day, BUT! It was WARM, and melty, and great. And now it's like we're back in December. UGHHHH.

I wasn't able to go work yesterday then. Like, LITERALLY was not able to leave my driveway. Actually, I left my driveway, buuuut only about a foot. Then I was stuck. And Steve and I spent a half hour unsticking me so I could get back into the driveway. It just wasn't happening. So poor Chuehue had to stay a whole extra shift. That's the risk we run working in a stupid 24-hour facility or a place that houses people who need supervision. The plows didn't even come by until my shift was completely over. Jerks.

Steve had the whole weekend off, so it was really really nice otherwise. Mostly just attending to and monitoring Grim and playing games. On Saturday we went to my parents' house and had my nephew Cayden's 1st birthday party. It was low-key and fun (with plenty of inappropriate talk by my hilarious 16-year-old cousin - the last discussion I was a part of was when she asked if any of us women had hair in their butt cracks because she does. I told her to shave it.), but apparently every person at the party now has the stomach flu, with the exception of Steve and myself. FINGERS CROSSED!

We watched a good chunk of Scrubs this weekend and finished Gangland. I've slowly been working through Final Fantasy VI, leveling my Druid (almost to 69!), I got all "S" ranks in Elite Beat Agents, and now I'm gonna finally beat SoulSilver before I get White (pre-ordered awhile ago). All I needed to do was fight Lugia and beat the elite four. I caught Lugia. Now, onward! Omg it was so funny when I turned the game on and I didn't know what to do, so Steve talked to professor Elm and he said, "You need to see the kimono girls at the dance theater." And I was like, "Buuuut I already weeeeent there and no one was hooooome!" And he was like, "You should try again." So we both hovered over the screen and when the theater was empty (AGAIN), it was lolsville.

Currently I'm tired and irritable and am worried I'm starting to give into hypochondria. Sleep the past two nights has been awful for us. We just can't fall asleep! It's broken and lame. We're hoping tonight's the night that our bodies finally give in and let us sleeeeeep.
spritechan: (Clannad - Okazaki Tomoya Hamburger?)
I haven't been sleeping very well the past couple weeks. I'm used to waking up a few times a night, but I feel like lately it's nearly hourly. I don't feel rested and I definitely don't ever want to get up for anything. Ughhh.

The English version of Clannad is on Netflix Instant, and I was super excited because I love that show soooo much, but so far I am NOT liking a lot of the voice actor choices. Sunohara was much more comical with a deeper voice (to offset his blonde hair), not a prepubescent annoying one. And Nagisa's voice is too high and not timid/soft enough. Tomoya's voice stands out BECAUSE everyone else seems to have such high-pitched voices.

This weekend was quite busy for me. On Friday I went to Pam's father's funeral. Bethany texted me at the last minute saying she couldn't go, after she'd convinced me to go in a black skirt instead of my originally-planned oufit of jeans and a black shirt. My predictions on the dress were correct: it was varied and rather informal. My dad wore a suit, but Pam was wearing brown and a lot of people were in jeans. I did NOT like the pastor or whatever. He was a former military man, wearing his uniform, talking mostly about himself as well as god (it was a Catholic funeral, so that much was expected). He also walked around with a tape recorder and shoving it into people's faces while making jokes and insisting you "shouldn't be sad" and "life goes on." He was very insensitive - he even made a comment/joke about dementia when he couldn't remember something (Pam's dad had general dementia...). He made it incredibly difficult for anyone to mourn without feeling awkward, because they were expected to be laughing. Adam broke down at some point and it was so sad. I comforted him as best I could. I was uncomfortable the entire time because he was so firmly violating my idea of how a funeral should go. Mikey's funeral was my favorite because there were a couple people who spoke  - telling stories and reading poetry, and some of the stories were funny, but the overarching theme was of remembrance and grief at losing him. At Pam's dad's funeral there was no plan for speaking, so people went up and winged it. Some of them were quite touching, but I definitely got the feel that this was just like Pam's family. So many of them attended but it was Pam (1 of 9 kids, 6 or 7 living) who had to try to organize it all.

The pictures of him as a young man were really nice. He was taken off of a reservation in North Dakota and put into Catholic boarding schools until he was old enough for war, when he went to Iwo Jima. My stepbrother James looks just like him (actually a lot of men in the family do). It was also the first time I remember seeing a picture of Pam's mother - she died a long time ago. Pam is the spitting image of her.

On Saturday I went to lunch with my auntie Connie, cousin Haley, and grandmas Ann and Carla. I always find it funny that Carla and Ann get along, as they've each had a shot at my grandpa (Carla had previously been married to said man's brother in the past before marrying him), though neither are with him now. It's always funny when they tell stories, because of similar experiences. Haley was angsty and pouty as usual (she's 16), but I had a really good time. We were out for like 3 hours and I was exhausted by the time I got home. Then in the evening (actually this was technically Sunday morning) we had Pat and Nick over to watch The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, based off of the fourth light novel. It was sooooo good! The version we had was really high quality too. The Disappearance focuses a lot on Nagato, which is even better. Omg. Yummm.

Steve and I forgot that malls and every other damn stores don't open until 11am on Sundays, so we were bored at 9:30 driving around trying to figure out what to do. Finally we just wandered until 10:30 and then drove to the Mall of America. We spent the day shopping. I got so many good things! I even got another workout video (this one using pilates, yoga, and... something else!) and a nutrition book. I got some nice shirts and even avoided buying more hoodies I don't need! ^_^ I got a cute skirt for $5, but I need to tone up before I can wear it. The mirrors at H&M are very unforgiving and made me feel excessively lumpy. Steve said he thought they made him feel stumpy and short. To be honest, the H&M at Maplewood Mall has better stuff than the one at MoA, probably because it doesn't get picked through so quickly. Anyway, it was really fun! We also got a couple DS games, the first in awhile for us!

Finally we got home at 3:30 and I got to bed at 4:30. Back to the ol' grind!
spritechan: (Clannad - Tomoya Nagisa close)
So, yesterday in class was incredibly long. We had 8 presenters at 10-20 minutes each. We get to the last presenter, and she goes up and pulls the wrong presentation up on accident. It looked like a draft she did. She didn't know until like the 3rd slide that this was her practice PowerPoint. She was obviously not very adept at computers, and seemed confused as to how to bring up the correct one. The professor told her that she couldn't stop her presentation. It was quiet, like wtf. She was just like, "Uhhh, well I can stop if you want, but this is the WRONG presentation." A peer jumped up and quick helped her pull up the right PP. Whew, crisis averted. We thought.

The professor is a rude bitch. One of those women who looks over her half-spectacles at you like you're completely dumb, who always speaks with an air of superiority, and generally makes you feel like you're an inch tall. In my "suggestion" section of my eval for her, I gave her this list:

1. Don't assign busy work (it's a senior level capstone ffs)
2. Please be respectful. Don't treat your students like children - you're quite rude at times
3. We already did an internship, our major presentations shouldn't be on an agency
4. Only discuss assignments relavent to the particular class or the next one (she had a horrible habit of confusing the class by talking about an assignment due in a month, not even a big assignment, just one due at a far later date. This happened nearly every class and freaked a lot of people out so they thought things were due when they weren't for weeks)
5. Don't belittle students if they must leave class early or not come at all, and then cancel class as it suits your convenience (she did this a few times to attend out-of-state conferences - or so she says. I must point out that we only had class once a week so "a few times" adds up.)

Something like that. More concise I think, but those were the main ideas. I'd like to remind you that the average age of a student at my school is in their 30's. Very few fresh-out-of-hs kids.

So, back to the woman who was presenting. The professor interrupted her a couple times to tell her she was "wrong" about stuff, and she lost it. Clicked to the end of her presentation, said she was done, and started packing up her stuff. At this point we all felt bad for her and quick wrote on her evaluation how we were sorry the prof was so rude and threw them at her. She finished packing her stuff in a rage, and we all sort of looked around uncomfortably. Then, when she was walking out the door, she said something like, "You have a fucking attitude problem" to the professor, who shot back in her best oh-no-you-di'n't black lady voice, "You better watch yourself!" and the woman in HER best pissed off black lady voice, basically repeated how rude the professor was, who ALSO basically repeated her first statement. This would have been a sociologically amusing situation, because most of us were pointedly looking at our tables, or at their work. I imagine some were staring at the two in shock, gauging their facial expressions. I was a table-watcher, because I know what it's like to be in that woman's position, being filled with a helpless blind rage that makes you blurt out like a child because you gotta do SOMETHING. I respectfully didn't look at her because I wouldn't have wanted anyone looking at ME when I was having a public tantrum. It was even more awkward because there were only 15 students in the class and it was a small room. The tension was THICK.

Everyone left class whispering about the awkwardness of the situation. A guy came up to me and Ana and was like, "Whoa, that was INTENSE!" All Ana (classic Ana) had to say was, "Well I felt bad for her but that was so stupid because her stuff hasn't been graded yet!!!" Ah, yes, the professor wields the Grading Sword.

I called Mom on the way home to let her know I finally was done, and she HAD to let me know that Paul is butthurt because I only had two tickets to my graduation and didn't tell him he was guaranteed one. All I ever said was that I wasn't playing the game. He's all DUA because he contributed financially to college and they got me the apartment when I wasn't old enough for the dorms (THEY insisted) yadda yadda yadda. He's DAMN lucky he wasn't on the phone, because I would have told him that I would trade all the money in the world to just have had his emotional backing when I needed it most. FOR REAL. I just told Mom that that sucks for him that he read into my words and thought I was choosing my father over him. I never said anything either way, just gave them the facts.

His whole "blood means nothing, proof is in the actions" argument became bullshit when he admitted he probably loves August more than Bethany or me because he's BLOOD, and that his parents didn't do shit for him yet he still puts them on a pedastal. And that after 14 years he still hides behind BULLSHIT stepparenting literature that he uses as an excuse when things go wrong. At least my father has never called me names in my life, has never told me I was dirty and worthless. I'd trade my college education if he could take that shit back. THAT is why I didn't guarantee him the ticket. I lose sleep over this bullshit all the time. I am SO MAD. I couldn't fall asleep last night because I was fighting with him in my head again. Most of my dreams are about fighting with him or Bethany. Ugh. I can see this exploding. It's just building and building.

Minor rant: I activated my dormant checking account and am going to move my monies over there because he slipped and accidentally admitted he still watches my bank account. Ass. GTFO now. I have one account connected to my Mom's account, which is also his account, from when I was a teenager and the bank required an adult to be a part of it. I have to close it completely to keep them from seeing stuff, and I have a TON of accounts online linked to it, including work, so I'm going to leave it open to pay bills and just keep everything else in my other one.

Bethany has been ultra cute lately and asking me all these questions about college, because she wants to go for Nursing or MA as long as it's an Associate's. Even though she's terrified of needles and talking about them makes her queasy, lol. But she's been texting and calling to vent and doing research using me and it's all very adorable. I like that.


Nov. 22nd, 2010 03:55 am
spritechan: (Higurash - AngelMort Rika)
Ah! On Friday I turned 23. So. I pretty much spent my birthday weekend doing everything that I wanted to do.

On Thursday night Steve and I went to the theater at 10:30 to get our seats for Harry Potter. Our theater was already full. We were able to snag three seats toward the front (the third for Nick). We assumed that Nick's sister would be in a different theater, and we KNEW Pat and Faith would be in a different theater, having bought their tickets the day of. We just hung out and played our DSiXLs. There were a TON of teenagers running around with wands and a quaffle playing Quidditch. And many more dressed up of course. It was cute to see other Huffpuffs. Steve mentioned to me that he thought there's no Ravenclaw love out there. I personally know a few people who I think would be in Ravenclaw (looking at you, Athena. Though I think you'd also be great in Slytherin).
The movie? AMAZING. omg. omg. Yes. 
Of course, I'm the only one who remembered that in the book Wormtail's own hand turns on him, and that X. Lovegood's horn thing goes off (though it WAS in the background of the scene), and that Bellatrix calls Voldemort and he shows after the kids escape and punishes everyone. Though speaking to that scene, Emma Watson did AMAZING on her tortured screams. Gives me the shivers. We all know the most awkward scene was the part where Ron pictures Harry and Hermione apparently nakedly making out after having been processed in Photoshop. And Daniel Radcliffe is far too short to be taken seriously. Ever. Ron has a barrel chest which causes LOLs but is still YES, and Emma is soooo beautiful. Very. Oh, and the humor in the movie was super great too. Nngh! Love HP 4eva.

After the movie me, Nick, Pat, Faith, Courtney and Steve went to Perkins and just hung out and chilled. Courtney made me an adorable card, which I forgot to take a picture of but will add when I get home.

Steve got me:
-A coupon for one "decision" that he must make. It was a "joke" gift, because neither of us likes to make decisions on where to eat, or what to do, or what. It was sooo cute. The background is a watermark of Haruhi pulling on Kyon. Adorable.
-A manga themed around autism which I found very funny as well as adorable, but he was serious in thinking I would enjoy it, as I find ways all the time to bring autism in discussion (such as the other night when I told my dad his dog had autism tendencies, but I can't remember what he did!)
-A sushikin stuffed animal for my car (see cut).
-The first Ouendan game (he got my the 2nd for my last birthday). I loooove Ouendan!
-A remote car starter kit for mah car!
-The Killing Joke, in hardcover and completely colored. (See cut)

Soooo good!

My friends planned a scavenger hunt for me, and it was MAX great. Steve tricked me and ditched me at home around midnight and since he knows me so well, knew that I'd hop on the computer or check my phone. Problem is, I didn't know he was leaving, so I went and futzed around doing laundry for like 15 minutes before I discovered that I was to scavenge! It was World of Warcraft themed, and I got to tank and heal and do quests all around town (as a Tauren Drood)! It was super awesome and funny.

At Nick's first station, in a park, I had a quest to retrieve his lost trinket, which took me far longer to find than it should have - I walked over it three times! XD My next quest was to buy myself some energy drink with my reward money from the previous quest (Faith ran that one). My third quest was to retrieve Snickers bars from Pat's car farm (they were actually monsters disguised as Snickers). Pat's was incredibly funny, because Steve wrote their lines, and it was all about how Pat was gay (Pat is at least bi, if not gay. It's true, even if he says it's only curiousity. I'm trying always to make him come to terms with it).

Then I had to bring Steve the heads of gummie bears (he really made me bite off the heads before he accepted them XD), and then had to act as a tank against Joe Waid to save Steve in an escort quest. Then they mixed games by making me kill 5 slimes (From Dragon Quest Heroes) and bringing their insides (tootsie rolls) to Nick.

THEN I had to go to another park and heal Pat while he fought another evil Joe Waid (moar gay jokes). Lastly, I had to go to Nicks and team up with Courtney and Faith, who were DPS, and were joined by Steve, who was our pug tank, and we had to battle Boss Nick, who somehow had a costume that looked like a sorcerer's or something. After all that, we went in the house and they had made an AMAZING Horde-themed cake for me (see cut) and Nick and Joe Waid had bought me all the WoW games! Awww! But in order to get to the games I had to open the chest they were in (they really made it look like a treasure chest).

We are nerds. And honestly, only Nick and I play WoW out of the group so it was really cute that they did that. Courtney was added in last-minute, which I really was touched by, because she was the one who told Pat that she wanted in. Unfortunately Steve had already finished all the scripts so she was tacked onto the last quest, but I was glad she was there. Pat gave me a HORRIBLY written (on purpose) IOU from him and Faith, haha.

See?! )Otherwise Steve and I sat around playing games, watching Gangland, and relaxing. I finished Uncharted already, and am going to start Chrono Cross!

Saturday Bethany and I went to our dad's and got some mulah from him and we went out to dinner with him, Pam and Jack. It was a nice time. My dad has gotten so much more pleasant as he's gotten older.

Sunday Mom, Paul and I had to reschedule our lunch for Friday, because it rained/froze Saturday night and Bethany got stranded (she has a rear-wheel drive Lexus) and they had to jump her, take her car to the mechanic (for an unrelated issue), and then drive her to work. Too much to deal with, and Steve has Friday off YAY OMG YAY, so lunch on Friday is fine. That left Steve and I to hole up at home, order a pizza, watch the Vikings game, and play cutie games (me plugging away on Zelda: Oracle of Seasons and him squeeze in some Tales of the Abyss). 

spritechan: (Default)
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Bahhh. Bahahaha! Oh did they!

Just kidding. Overall I think I was raised pretty well; it's in raising me to be independent and think for myself that got them into trouble. My stepdad especially was not prepared for me to challenge him on anything when I became an adult. We've been in this limbo where if I do something wrong, I'm not acting like an "adult." However, if I stand up to him in any way, he tries to force me into a child's role, because that's where he's comfortable.

Looking at my actual childhood. Hmm. I suppose things I considered normal in my family, aren't? That's a stupid statement anyway because every family is different, but looking back I think I was punished far more harshly than I deserved. I didn't get nearly as much slack as my siblings (I'm the oldest), and I spent a good deal of my childhood grounded and in my room for minor infractions, including but not limited to:

-being up past my bedtime
-not getting all A's
-as a teenager, coming home more than 5 minutes past curfew
-not having chores done by 6pm
-self-injurous behavior
-hanging out with people after school without getting permission first (this all through my school years, even as a teenager)
-getting kicked out and then not coming home when demanded to

Eh. I'm whining now, but I definitely feel as if I was treated unfairly, especially when compared to my sister. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister more than life. And she got into worse situations than I did. There were a few times where things got physical with my mom and stepdad, but it was limited to pushing and the occasional belly bop. Bethany got into apparent fist fights with them (this was after I moved to Duluth), would leave for days at a time, and stopped going to school at 15.

My little brother though, I think in some ways he has it better than the two of us did, and some ways definitely worse. They give him a lot of attention and opportunities that they couldn't afford when I was growing up, such as piano lessons, multiple sports (and multiple teams at the same time if it's baseball - and youth sports is NOT cheap), they go to many events together and attend all of his games (and Paul coaches his football team). He has video game systems and his own tv, a decent bed, and actually gets to have friends over (I only got to have friends over on birthdays, and only 2 max). On the other hand, Paul is extremely hard on him about his weight as Paul is overweight and doesn't want August to turn out the same way. He gets bullied for getting dessert as well as how much or what he eats. Shit, let him be a kid! He's 12! They're hard on him about school too, but he's just starting to get into real school - he's in 6th grade.
We all got tons of shit for who we were friends with. My parents think they get to judge and criticize our friend choices, and apparently the best way to help you choose the "right" crowd is through bitching whenever whatever disapproved of friendship comes up. I hung out with burnouts, true, but I didn't do any drugs or drink until I was 20. I also am a more accepting and less judgmental person than they are, so I hung out with anyone I felt like as long as they're not assholes. When they became assholes, I stopped hanging out with them. Unfortunately, I think my parents took those as personal victories and meant that their bullying was effective. Bethany hung out with people they didn't like just to spite them, and people like Sarah turned out to be good. August is so young, and I really feel for him, having Paul breathing fire down his neck for hanging out with jerks. All boys are jerks at that age. He's popular; let him be. It'll work itself out.

The other biggest mistakes they made with me were:
1. The way they handled my self injurious behavior as a teen
2. The way they handled when I was sexually assaulted
The latter of the two however was as an adult and has had long-lasting effects on my day-to-day life and thinking, and it's been 2 years this month. I think that they consider it a closed case and have dusted their hands of the matter, but it deeply affects me regularly and has permanently damaged our relationship (moreso with my stepdad). I feel like a broken record, because I think about it so much it's almost as if I talk about it a lot too. I don't THINK I do, but it does relate to a lot of things in my present life. I've tried a few times to bring it up again for closure purposes, or to try again to get my point across (and ask a few questions to discover motives for why they/he behaved in such a manner - such as the name-calling, blaming, and breaking into my LJ to find out who I'm sleeping with wtf and demanding to know if I slept with Gleb wth do either of those have to do with anything?), but it always turns into near-immediate yelling on Paul's part and trying to say I'm holding a grudge and want to make sure he's never absolved of his mistakes, etc. etc. instead of just listening to me.  

As for my biological dad and stepmom, they were great. The biggest problems really were between them. They let us work most things out on our own, and while Pam is overprotective (and we were naive), we got incredible freedom that we rarely abused. Some of my fondest memories are with my sister and stepbrothers at the house in Columbia Heights. I suppose then they messed up in being too permissive, but honestly, with three highly rebellious boys, I don't see that it could have been done differently. They're all living with their choices, and not doing worse than any other average Joe. I can only think of one or two real times that my dad felt like punishing me, and it was a joke punishment, and he was just trying to show that he was the one in charge. Unlike my mom and stepdad, he was a Threatener, so I have no negative memories of him physically hurting me. I was spanked all the time by the other two. Mostly we just argued about politics :D

In sum, I turned out pretty well, I'd say. I'm not a drug addict, I rarely drink, I'm graduating college (and it only took me so long because I wasn't afraid to change majors, and because I made a few poor choices when depressed), have a Real Job, haven't lived at home in years, and am in a healthy, wonderful relationship. The effects of the way I was raised... I think I'm a little neurotic in some ways and I get stressed easily, but I also developed a wonderful sense of pride in things that I do without taking myself too seriously. I also recently developed an optimism to counteract the pessimism I had to be around. In order to balance the judgmental nature of my parents (though they always TAUGHT me not to judge. Do as I say not as I do!) I am much less judgmental than they are. Maybe they worsened with age, maybe I just never noticed. I realized my parents aren't all-knowing. I have an extremely high level of disclosure because I don't like to lie and they asked a lot of questions growing up. I'm intelligent, have a good sense of humor, and understand responsibility. No parents are perfect, you just have to try to screw up your kid less than the next guy.

spritechan: (Clannad - Tomoya hugs Nagisa)
Bwahhh. Another work week.

Last Friday I was an HOUR late to work. Yep. I'm sleeping, doo doo doo, and then my phone starts ringing, when I looked at it I was mega confused that the time said 12:37am. "Whadda fuuuuuck why does it say 12:37? It's supposed to be 11:20." So I answer, doing my best voice of I-was-not-just-asleep. It was Eddie. All he said was, "Leah?!" and I told him I'd be there in 15. Sucks that they waited so long to call me, but at least I live only 4 miles away. Then I spent over an hour poring through the MARs, writing and then typing up all the errors and put it in the nurse's box. She decided to come up with a new system of checks and accountability for signing and correctly filling out the MARs, so I decided to catch everyone up. I filled in all the missing holes and documented everything and typed up who was supposed to sign for them so she can get them to sign below me. Today I found a note in my box thanking me for doing it (and saying she tried to document the holes but mine was way better and more organized) and asking me to keep tabs on the MAR a couple times a week. Which actually means I'm going to be doing it every night in order to keep up with everything. That and legally a hole should only go unsigned for 24 hours. And stupid Henry accounted for ONE THIRD of the errors all by himself. There are at least 15 people who can sign the MAR, and the idiot accounts for the biggest chunk of non-signatures. I hope he gets fired soon. He bugs the crap out of me.

And now a break for kitty cuteness and cheer! )

I'm feeling MUCH better today. Steve and I wasted most of the weekend sleeping, but we were also productive in some ways too. We got our grocery shopping done for the week and I made a ton of bento stuff and will make more tomorrow. We finally saw Inception, too. It was very, very good. Who doesn't love Leonardo DiCaprio + Ellen Page?! Omg. And the storyline was the right amount of complex too. I'm glad we got to catch it while it was still in theaters.

I also got up to a total of 59 'S' ranks in Ouendan 2, which means I have only 17 more A's to turn into 'S''s! I'm not a hundo on if I can actually achieve that, but of the 4 difficulties, I have the lowest difficulty completed, and the hardest difficulty with ONE LEFT. The other two I just need to suck it up on. It's kinda like when you play Guitar Hero or Rock band and know how to play it on Expert but are playing on an easier difficulty and the notes don't match up as well. It can be quite frustrating. Sidenote: I have completed the game, a long time ago, I just want to perfect it as much as possible because I'm really good at it and find it so fun. Playing a game like this to death does not get old. Its predecessor, Elite Beat Agents, is American and quite cheesy and the controls are a bit wonky (the scoring system is atrocious at times which is odd because it was released AFTER Ouendan 1), but it's a GREAT game and sells at GameStop for between $3 and $7. I still need the original Ouendan, but it's about $50 + shipping from Japan, so I'm holding off for a bit.

Also, my family pics came back. If you're curious as to what my mom's side looks like - that is, me (22), my mom (42), my stepdad (40), my sister (18), and my (half)brother (12), as well as my sister's baby (7mos.), check em out!

Bright and sunny! )

I was supposed to get my hair done the day before the pictures were taken, but my hair lady cancelled because her baby had a doctor appointment, and then THIS week all the roads to her town were closed (flooding and construction) and aren't apparently scheduled to reopen until the end of the month! My hair is a catastrophe. HATE IT. I went to see how much it would cost to get done where Steve and his mom get theirs done, and it would be $28 for the cut and $40-50 for the dye. WTF NO WAY. Jenny does AMAZING and the cut AND color costs me $40, INCLUDING tip. jfc.

My weekend

Sep. 27th, 2010 07:47 am
spritechan: (Lost - Locke jealous island speaks to me)
My weekend was really, really fun. Steve's (and everyone else's) hours have been cut, so he was able to score this weekend and next weekend off (SQUEEEEE). So much time together yes.

We went shopping on Friday for the last few things for Spoogie's wedding and my family pictures. We were able to find me EXACTLY what I was looking for - a plain white hoodie (ON SALE FOR $15), a black t-shirt, a black polo, and a certain shade of blue t-shirt. All at least 50% off at JCPenney's. God I love that store when they do end-of-season sales. We also found him a pair of NICE slacks for $20 (almost 50% off). I bought him a pair of dress shoes, which he was happier than he expected with because they looked GOOD with his outfit. I also bought him dun dun dun a DSi XL, which we both agreed we would purchase before winter. They dropped $20 in price, from $189 to $169. I will purchase myself one in two weeks when I get paid next. It's not as urgent for me because the handheld game I'm playing at the moment is the GBC game Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons, which cannot play in a DS. Steve though, just finished the third Professor Layton game and FINALLY started Luminous Arc! OMG I love that game~! It looks SO PRETTY on the DSi XL's screen. I miss it!!!! We had a lot of fun, as we always do, when spending time together at the mall. It's just a good time.

Saturday we went to Spoogie's wedding. It was an incredibly small ceremony, only about 40 people there, and other than the bridal party's dress and the actual ceremony, not very formal. The reception was in the GYM of the church, and no alcohol was allowed. It was really sad because I had made a joke earlier about having the reception in a high school gym D: Steve and I spent the entire ceremony and reception discussing what we will do differently, and how we want to go about the wedding. Steve says it has to be lighthearted, and we agreed to not have any "God" or "jesus" in our ceremony. It's just not fitting. I also got to listen to the hilarious commentary by Nick's mom during the ceremony and reception - Nick and his sister were both in the wedding, and Nick's parents were the only people we knew. It was great. I had to leave at 3:45pm to drive out to Shakopee to take my family pictures. For the first time we decided to have them outside, and with a non-professional photographer - my parents hired the mom of some kid August and Paul know (Paul coaches football and my parents are very involved in August's baseball stuff too). It was actually really, really fun. We wandered around the paths of the Minnesota River (until of course we reached the flooding) looking for good places to take pictures. We took some while precariously perched over the river on trees, climbed in and around things, dodged mud (though August and I separately fell victim to one sneaky patch of mud), and all around were just silly. Bethany and I made jokes, and Tony was there too with Cayden so it was ALWAYS funny. Tony wouldn't take any pictures because he "needed a hair cut" XD Just like Tony. My only complaint is that she didn't give us any direction, so we don't know if we were double-chinning or having fat rolls hang out or posing stupid or anything. But it was a lot of fun, minus being eaten alive by the mosquitos.

Then I went back home and Steve and I slept from 8pm to 1am to try to fix our sleep schedule for tonight. I'd say we were pretty successful. It was a wonderful sleep regardless. Then we had 12 whole hours to hang out! We watched some more Lost special features - it takes a couple hours just to watch ONE SEASON'S worth of them! We also played games, cleaned up, and made our bentos. This week we weighed in pretty well and obviously gained over the weekend at the eating out and stuff, but still decent. I made my bento significantly smaller than I have, because I realized that I shouldn't be eating as much as he does! I don't NEED that amount of food; I just WANT it because I love food.

I switched up my theme in honor of Lost. I like it, but I still gotta find time to tweak my layout overall, because I'm not happy being unable to see individual entries' icons! Catching up on everyone's stuff after being gone over the weekend is very time-consuming, which makes me thankful that I have the time to do that while here at work. It just cuts down on my Japanese study time/homework time, which is a little sad, but I can always do hw or study. I'm really invested in my current friendships and don't want to miss out. Speaking of which, I also got to talk to Suzi for two whole hours! It was a great time. We haven't been able to speak on the phone in a looooong time. It was very nice, and an informative conversation on both sides :D It's like when we haven't been able to talk monthly, we forget things or just don't learn them in passing as much as we used to, so it was great to get to pick that up again!
spritechan: (Grim it's been a long day)
Phew! Had a long week and weekend. We drove up with Steve's dad to Biwabik (Iron Range, far north MN) and spent the weekend with his family. We had pretty much nothing to do when we weren't visiting his sister Amy and her newbornish twins and her 1-year-old, Aaden. Aaden was THE BEST because he would always start to cry when he first saw Steve, and he would just WAIL for like 5 minutes. He does not enjoy new company. Certain sounds, even if they're not loud, also scare him into crying, which is also funny. Ahahaha. He's very entertaining. The only phrase he says is "What's that?" but he recognizes a lot of things if you ask him to point them out to you. We also visited his crazy grandma on Lake Vermillion for awhile. Right when we got there she swooped in and made Steve and his dad bring a paddle boat back from a neighbor's (it drifted there). That was hilarious. Otherwise it was quite low-key with her. We had a lot of downtime and relaxing time, and it was a very subtle romantic weekend. Lots of quiet jokes between us about his family. We've been having suuuuch cutie time. The kind where other people get annoyed if I gush about it and they also probably puke. Yep.

He has the week off this week and is being very kind and offered to power through this change of schedule with me. Aka moving to being awake from the hours of 10:30pm to about 4pm the next day, and sleeping from 4pm to 10:30pm (or going to bed earlier if we feel like). Tonight was all right, I started feeling tired around 5 or 6am. It helps having another person there, definitely. I wanted to make a good first impression so I chatted with him for awhile (normally I'm awful at small talk and make little effort over an extended period of time) until we made our foods and went our separate ways. I abstained from Facebook for the most part, checking it only once tonight, and FINALLY re-picked up The Stand. I'm around page 250, and I'm reading the uncut/extended version. It's really good so far of course. I missed Stephen King. Which reminds me that I need to re-buy Lisey's Story since I seem to have lost my other copy/left it at Dan's. It's probably my favorite book I think. Top 3 for sure.

I'm too scatterbrained right now to think of anything else to say D: Final thoughts... I've been feeling like a fatty, I'm excited to be earning real money, I'm anxious about mine and Steve's opposing schedules after this week, I bought a cute cardigan for work (since I'm always cold) at Mall of America today for $8 at Ragstock, and I am deeply (annoyingly!) in love.
spritechan: (Cute smiley fingers)
I got the position within my company. It's a sure bet, and while it won't be perfect like the job I may or may not have gotten at Fabcon, it will be good. I have tons of training this week (see previous post about not getting many mandatory trainings as a result of poor management) so I will be tiiiired. It's just mean to give me all-day trainings DURING THE DAY when my schedule is not only currently a night schedule (ie awake until about 7am), but next week will be a full-time WORK night schedule!! But tonight is the last night of working super far away and taking detours and 12-hour lonely shifts!!

I spent time with my little sister this week. I hung out with her on Thursday, taking Cayden on walks and talking about life. Cayden is teething and so he cries a lot and pulls his poor ear. It's really adorably pathetic! He's a very cute kid and very expressive. I like spending time with her, and it's good too to get to see Tony once in awhile. It brought to mind that when Steve and I move out, while I would like to stay near St. Paul, it would be ideal if we could live in the suburbs closer to Shakopee. Maybe not a lot, but closer than 40 miles. That way I can visit or babysit without it having to seem like such a big deal. We took some long walks and just talked about relationships and having kids and graduating. And some silly stuff.

And Saturday was my brother August's birthday party (he's 12) and I spent time hanging out with my family, laughing and doting on Cayden. Tony raced Haley and a friend of August's. I took Cayden for a walk around the neighborhood and watched him for awhile while Bethany and Tony went with Mom to the store to buy August's iPod touch. Playing the role of Mom was really weird because I knew everyone who drove by was totally judging me, thinking I was a teen mom. And after feeling kinda awkward in that role for a few minutes, I got really mad. Like, I am 22 goddamn years old, if I wanna have a child I can have a child and no one can judge me!!!!! It doesn't matter, though, because no one EVER knows my age. People my parents know still think Bethany's older, and having a kid doesn't help that cause, haha. For reference: I AM FOUR YEARS OLDER THAN SHE IS ;) Then we went back to my parents' and he bopped around my lap for awhile, getting into a fight with a bean bag that was too heavy for him and therefore pissed him off. Babies are still scary, but they can definitely be awfully cute and not impossible.
spritechan: (Spirited Away - No-Face)
Mm, Just sitting at work.

I met with the head of the department or whatever for Human Services, and he told me I only need one class to graduate plus figuring out an Incomplete I have. So, I called the old professor and he left me a message listing what he wanted me to do for a grade, and I finished that stuff tonight and sent it off. Then I talked with my parents and they said I still have money in my 529 plan, assuming some was leftover after they banned me from using it for always failing/dropping classes, and Dad called and left me a message saying that it could cover most of my semester, which would mean no more loans! That then means I would not only graduate in December, but that I'll graduate with only like $7,000 in debt!

On Friday Steve and I met with Nick, Pat, Faith, and Joe Waid at the Taste of MN for Minus the Bear, POS and Atmosphere. I was really going to the social activities and being outside. It was so hot so Steve and I stayed in the back and laid in the grass during Minus the Bear and met up with the rest afterward. We walked around and talked and got refreshments (SO THIRSTY) until POS came on. Nick and Joe Waid sat with Steve and I off to the side while Pat made Faith go with him into the crowd. Steve and I left when POS brought some unknown friend to rap with him. I enjoy rap live but not so much any other time. I also love Minnesota Pride. People are adorable.

My family held their Independence Day celebration on Saturday at Como Zoo. It would have been a lot less stressful if there wasn't a HUGE Hmong Freedom Festival going on at Como Park. OMG was parking awful. I ended up giving up on parking close and parked in a nearby neighborhood. I didn't mind the walk, though. It was so hot, like 90, all day and so sunny. Perfect, in my opinion. But I got sooooo sunburnt. I was wearing a halter so the top half of my back is also burned. I don't mind, I just hope I have minimal peeling and that it'll turn into a tan line. My family all wanted to see my fourth tattoo, and I was surprised when it received a fairly warm reception. I was expecting hate because I heard Dad made a stink about Bethany's lilies on her ankle even though they're very tasteful and really well done (of course, I don't think I showed him so maybe it's just he who doesn't approve of the tattoos).

Here's a sneak peek at the unfinished tat... )

We ate and socialized before some of us headed to the zoo. I mostly hung out with Bethany and her baby Cayden because I love both of them so much! She briefly addressed her upset over the perceived negative comments about her son, and I tried to tell her I meant no harm. I love that child! I can't wait til he's old enough for me to babysit him and stuff! My cousin Danny is a couple years older than I am and we used to be really close when Bethany and I stayed at grandma Ann's all the time, but once she and Ronnie divorced we stopped being in contact. I don't know why but he followed me around all day. I just thought he'd end up with Kiana and Della, because he knows them better. It would be fine except I am TERRIBLE at small talk. It just makes me incredibly uncomfortable and all I really wanted to do was spend time with my sister. So I kept trying to find ways to avoid him without hurting his feelings and Bethany kept shooting me sly grins from afar (another one of our male cousins does this exact same thing to me at holidays and she finds it incredibly funny).

Grandma (my mom) and baby Cayden, about 4 and a half months.

Now I just can't wait to get home to Steve. He's incredibly adorable and took Thursday-Saturday off so we could have more than a day together. Is he a great boyfriend or what? <3

Oh man!

May. 2nd, 2010 11:29 pm
spritechan: (Spirited Away - No-Face)
It has been so long since I last posted! I'm sorry! I've been too mentally exhausted to continue. Still feel that way but guilt has overridden it all.

Long story short:
-Biological parents got in a brief catfight about child support and general support of my sister (but by proxy me). I was able to sort of mediate the sides, that is, I told each what the other wanted and they agreed upon it. Since my dad can't seem to ever get his damn stories straight.
-Learned some perspective on my dad's situation concerning being a part of our childhoods. It's all well and good and I feel bad for him, but because he lies so much I'm wary of the validity of his story is all.
-My next paycheck should be fairly large in comparison to my normal ones from all the shifts I picked up. Fingers crossed. I have actually begun legit paying off my credit card and putting money into savings. Yay for being able to not be so in debt!
-My whole month of May is sooo booked with events it's crazy! So busy.
-I am officially going to be volunteering at a center that works with abusive families, mostly with a lot of parenting programs and programs geared at reunification and court-ordered visitations. It's gonna be pretty cool, I only hope to secure a job sometime soon.
-Stuff at home is going swimmingly as usual, we get along great and are happy.
-Pat and I have gotten really close these last few weeks. I just love him. He's great and cute and fun, but also still silly and stupid, but in his own Dams way. I'm glad he's secured a girl who's good for him. We might be going to soundset together, just us. Steve said he just really likes spending time with me so it makes sense that he wouldn't want to go with Jorden or god forbid bring Bryce along. Also Pat having a cute girlfriend makes for LOTS of cute double-dates. And innuendos.
-I had a terrifying crisis of dealing with a super hypoglycemic client. I guess it wasn't SO bad, as it could have been worse. I caught her in the low 40's (it was lucky I even FOUND her testing supplies), but even after I forced juice down her throat I called 911 anyway. Better to be safe than sorry and she wouldn't stay conscious. The paramedics were sweet.
-Which reminds me, I like a lot of my clients and I like my job overall, but I don't feel like I'm doing enough or getting enough experience, or keeping my skills from going rusty. My friends are all jealous that I get to sit around knitting or watching Lost or being on Facebook, and I totally get that, but I'm being paid some pretty good money for the position and I do NOTHING. Oh wait, I make food. Right. And deal with the occasional scary-ass crisis sometimes. Even my med skills feel a little off. Ick.
-My degree is so close I can taste it.
-A little homework and then knitting and watching Lost!
spritechan: (Theory is you're all drunk or morons)
I had a conversation with Dad today (not the bio one, natch). He told me he would not fill out my FAFSA unless I fulfilled two conditions:
1. I gave him the amount of money that is on my credit card, and
2. I would only accept the minimum amount offered by the loan people when they gave me my loan offer.

No, thank you, I will not bend to your control-freak will. I calmly told him that I was in charge of my own life. He spent about a half-hour telling me that I have no idea what I'm getting into and that I'm pretty much going to go under when I graduate from all my debt. I am confused about this situation because total I will have about $10,000 taken out in loans when I graduate, not even a full year's worth for most of my peers, who have incurred about 4 years of debt to my going-to-be one and a half. I can't imagine how my peers will survive if I am going to die when I finish school!!! As for my credit card, I only have one, I have less than $1500 as a limit, and as soon as I'm fully out of my apartment I plan on paying it back down to zero. My lack of flipping out is apparently a telltale sign of my lack of understanding of the enormity of the situation. I let him talk down to me for awhile, while trying to keep him at bay when I could, choosing mostly to be complacent.

I had a major flashback to Roy (bio dad) when he suddenly said, with no segue, "How come you never invite ME to lunch? Why only your mom?!"

Okay people, I would like to ask everyone who deals with me to please bring their issues with me up front. I HATE when people hold things in like that and bring them up randomly after picking a fight. Interestingly, Roy and I were fighting about $200 I needed for books for the 2008 school year when he suddenly burst out, "Why wasn't I invited to your graduation?!" (he was, he just forgot when it was and missed it). SO you can see where I find the similarity.

Honestly I don't know why he would want to have lunch with me anyway. Wouldn't it just be awkward? He feels left out, clearly, and I totally get that. However, after our falling out a year and a half ago we just don't really get along. He disagrees nearly completely with the way I'm living my life, though I really don't know why, and we both have distorted images of who the other is because of the climax of the events leading to our falling out. I doubt we'd be having long heart-to-hearts over his hour break. And he works a lot farther away than Mom does. I honestly didn't think about it, because I didn't know we were friends.

Bottom line, really: I need to figure out how to apply for loans without having a completed FAFSA. I wouldn't be receiving any aid anyway because my parents make too much. There has to be a way I can do this on my own. My parents didn't co-sign for my loan, so hopefully it'll be just as easy for next year. I feel more and more that my decision to wait on school until fall is a good idea. Otherwise, if I can't do anything about my schooling because he won't fill out the FAFSA, I might be able to get my bio dad to, and since I'm losing insurance when I turn 23 in November anyway, I am okay putting school off until I can afford it on my own.
spritechan: (Grim it's been a long day)
After some careful thinking, and putting years between myself and when I needed to make my journal friends-only, I think I will tentatively make my entries public again. I won't go back and make my previous entries public, at least not at this time, but unless I see a reason to make an entry friends-only, I'll try this out and see how it goes.

Steve and I began Leah's Great Exodus today. Although I really feel like he did most of the work and I just sort of sat around deeming things "keep" or "throw." He was an amazing help and allowed me to part with a lot of stuff I don't need. It felt really good to get rid of so much stuff, because I am a very big pack rat. I need someone like him to help pry my pack rat fingers off of garbage I keep because I'm weird.

Speaking of weird, we ran into an interesting situation today. We had some music playing (it was very much in the afternoon so we thought it was okay) when someone started knocking on the door. I immediately became annoyed because I knew it was someone asking us to turn the music down. It was NOT that loud, I assure you. So I, being steadfastly mule-headed, made no move to answer the door. Steve turned down the music and answered it. This is the conversation that ensued:

Old Lady Who Lives Above Me (OLWLAM): "Oh! Uhh... hi! Are you... taking care... of Leah?"

Steve: "...what?" Him of course being a multiple-piercing, bandanna-wearing, disheveled young man. Yes, he IS my caretaker.

OLWLAM: "Oh I just heard Leah was really sick so..."

Steve: "Uhhh...?"

OLWLAM: "Well, anyway, that music is so loud I can't hear my TV (ME IN MY HEAD: Yeah well I can't sleep at night because your tv is on 24/7 and you never sleep and are always stomping around like a troll on the prowl), so could you please turn it down?"

Me, having now gotten up and walked to the door because Grim flipped out on Steve and hissed and ran away: *stare*

OLWLAM: "Oh! Are you Leah? I heard you were sick and moving out!"

Me: "I am moving out yes, but I am not sick."

OLWLAM: "Oh well someone told me that you were really sick and so I was just wondering... but anyway, the music is really loud."

Me: "Okay. I am not sick."

At this point Nero had run out of the door so we ended the conversation and retrieved him.

Okay. What. the hell! For almost the entire time I have been living at my apartment, I have only returned on average once a week to feed the cats, almost always after everyone normal in the world is asleep. I met that old lady ONE TIME right when I moved in. She introduced herself from her deck and I promptly forgot her name. I am not a neighbors person. I much prefer privacy but I am okay with the occasional smile and nod of acknowledgment. Anything beyond that is pushing it. How is it that, out of my HUGE 400-unit complex, there is actually GOSSIP going around about me dying of cancer or something? And people knowing me by name?? Who did she hear this from? The Mexican family of four living in the 1-bedroom to my right? Or the old man who lives above the old lady?!


Anyway, Steve and I also walked the mile or so to the local Gamestop, not for purchasing purposes, but to get out and walk, and also to put our PokeWalkers to good use. Because we are nerds. It was very windy though, which made it pretty chilly. Otherwise it was pretty nice out. I can't wait for summer!

Finally, I think I'm going to postpone taking more classes until the fall. I realized a couple of days ago that my FAFSA is yet again not completed, and that it is not within my power to complete it. I can't afford to take more classes without continued loans, and I have no idea how loans would work for the summer. I also would like to continue to try to fight the administration about that "Pre-internship seminar" class they want me to take even though I completed my internship a year ago. The idea of enjoying my summer and finally being able to get a decent second job is much more appealing than stressing out about more classes. I'm not really in a huge hurry to graduate, next fall will be my 6th year in school, and I really wish I could take classes at my leisure as opposed to being required to be full-time status because of an insurance requirement. I've noticed I do much better taking 2 classes as opposed to 3. I've also decided to include my parents less on the things I do in my life. The cycle appears to be one in which I make a decision, relay it to my parents, they disagree with the decision and make me feel guilty and worthless, I probably continue with my original decision and we end up in some sort of feud. I am happier when they are kept on the edge of my radar as opposed to in the nucleus.

April 2017

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