spritechan: (Default)
[personal profile] spritechan
Here is my post from last year, with comments on my growth:

2016 will be another year of improvement, growth and happiness. I wanted to tag 2016 as the year for balance, but after some reflection, I almost feel like that's a copout... Mostly because 2015 really was my year to work in some balance. I have had some successes and a lot of failures, so I will continue to strive for balance. But what I really need this year is Rejuvenation. I want to revitalize my life. I want to nurture a joy for living.

Ways to support 2016, the year of Rejuvenation:

Leave work at work, unless I am consciously choosing to take it home
     I still have to talk about work to process, but I do it FAR less than I used to.

Arrive at work and leave work at reasonable times, and not feel guilty if others are not doing as I am
     I consistently leave work before 5pm the vast majority of the time now. Though I believe this is due to not having a special ed math class this year to prep for, it has felt so nice to get home at reasonable times. I still do Anime club twice a week, but it's been so good this year.

Organize, prioritize, and manage my work so that I don't feel behind (aka Be More Like Tealie). This applies at home as well as at school.
     I have been good about it this year, but honestly it is primarily because I have less work - I have a tiny caseload and no independent classes that I don't co-teach in.


Focus on and improve my yoga practice
     I have done this, but inconsistently. Over the last year, I went at least once a week, and in the summer I went almost every day. Since school year started, I have had extremely spotty attendance. I need to get better at this, because I HATE that I'm being like this.

Manage exercise at least 3 times per week (whether that ends up being the gym, ITG, or a workout program)
     I did this well until my ITG machine broke over the summer and we haven't been able to fix it yet. I was a Y member, but once I started going to yoga regularly I stopped going to the gym regularly. I get more fit and feel SO much better when I'm going to a gym, but I canceled my Y membership because it wasn't worth the cost. I did find a decent gym close to my house, and I've been toying with the idea of signing up there.

Accept and love myself more (" 'Maybe your colleagues will like you better if you like yourself better.' Pfft, who needs that??" "YOU do!" "I KNOW!!!" - Chandler and Monica)
     In some ways, I'm doing very well at this. I respect my value and I don't say negative comments about myself out loud anymore... at least not as much. But inside, it's a constant stream of negativity and a barrage of insults at myself. I desperately need to fix this.

Fulfilling nutrition choices without consuming my life keeping track of what I am consuming
     I have done pretty well at this. I don't track my food anymore because it's not worth the time, and it's helped me practice more awareness of my eating. Sometimes I feel guilty, but mostly I don't because when I'm doing better, I'm consuming whole foods that are good for my body. I have been vegetarian since April 2015, and I have been more or less vegan for the better part of that time. Since the summer I have drifted back into consuming some dairy.

Engage in my hobbies, and restore pleasure gained from participating in them (watching anime, playing video games, reading)
     I have been knitting a lot more this year, and indulging my reading desires. I have finished a couple of games this year. I'm improving!! Not ONLY laying around watching Hearthstone streams.

Create beauty. I feel the urge when I see people around me with so much artistic talent, students and adults, but I feel like I can't do anything because I'm terrible. I need to get over that.
     This hasn't been as relevant in my life this year. I feel decently fulfilled with what I do create, but I would probably modify this to discuss how I want to learn to crochet.

Use social media less, which really means Facebook.
     I did NOT do well at this all year. It was as bad as ever. Then I deleted the Facebook app off my phone in November. I check FB occasionally on the desktop version, but I have been trying to keep it to only looking at notifications. After all the horrible things going on in the world and particularly after the election, I had to stop. It's been so freeing, and so much less stressful.

Use my phone less in general. I've been getting to that point where every time my phone is blinking I grind my teeth because I can't get away. Maybe I will start leaving my phone in the other room. I like that.
     I have been better about this. Not always a LOT better, but better. Really I mostly use my phone to Snap Haley, and because of her significant MH issues I'm always tense getting the millions of snap videos per day (her current record is 20 minutes in a row of her day's issues), but I am always REALLY afraid something bad is happening and the guilt if I didn't catch her before she does something. I'm working on it. It helps that I have an iPhone now and it doesn't blink for notifications.


Get at least one massage this year
     Boooooo failed at this miserably. Booooooo!

Be more present and effusive with Steve. Nurture that relationship. Focus on the pleasure I get from us.
     Uh, I'll ask him if he feels it's been different. I think I sucked at this off and on, but overall improved and want to continue improving. Brb. Steve says that I have done a really good job this year, and it has caused him to enter into a "Renaissance of Loving Feelings" for me, a la the 2009 era. So. Yay!

Reduce the number of things I feel obligated or tied to. I only need to worry about me.
     I think I have done well on this. In a not-selfish way, I have cared for myself decently enough this year. I only go to things I want to attend, and I don't feel bad about not making plans I don't really care about. For example, Jorden decided to move to California to be with his girlfriend. In November I mentioned that maybe we could get together one last time before he leaves. When he's in a relationship he cares about little else in order to be loyal, so he was meh on it. And I was totally fine with that - and honestly pleased that he didn't push me. But when Nate visited from Cali in November, we had a really good time and I was so happy to see him. Or how I don't usually feel guilty turning down happy hour at work. I go when I go and I don't.  

Let go, even if it is sad or painful
     Still working on it, but generally I am at peace. I wonder what I wrote this for... Right now my struggles with letting go center around Chad, because I think about him all the time and it is obvious that he has closed the door on our emotional connection because it is too hard for him. The friendship door is still open, and I'm grateful. I really expected him to cut me out once our relationship cooled, for safety's sake. I'd never burden him with my feelings and I KNOW it's not because he doesn't care for me - he just has to face his life's reality AND he asked me outright to move to Ohio with him and I turned him down because I think long-term we are not a good match, and I was afraid that he'd miss his family (and that's exactly what happened when he tried to leave Ellen for Katy). The risk wasn't worth if it didn't work out. It's not fair of me to still be hanging on. But I'm still haunted. I've dreamed of him frequently of late, and it's confusing and frustrating. So I need to continue practicing this.


(This quote is eerily spot-on. I love it so much.)


Get rid of junk (an ongoing decluttering project I'm working on). Keep only the things that bring me joy.
     I've done quite well at this, overall. I've gotten rid of a lot of unnecessary clutter and organized the house and sooo much of it is amazing. I'm still working on it, but we have really fixed up the house and simplified.


Looking toward 2017... I was not on the bandwagon of 2016 being the worst year ever. Bad things happen all the time, every year. I had no self-pity over all the shitty things happening. I think we're exposed to sensationalized, embellished, and outright fake news and it's toxic and overwhelming. Cutting myself off of that part of social media has improved my mood immensely. I actually had a very good year, now that I'm thinking about it.

I want to continue this momentum. 2016 was the year of Rejuvenation. I did decently well at this I think, not sure how much of it is my optimism because I've been off school for over a week and I quickly forgot just how over everything I was by the time break came around. I feel better about how I live my life, I feel balanced between work and home and satisfied overall with my life, and I did a lot of things I REALLY wanted to do.

This year, let's call it the Year of Action:

I will develop a healthy self in order to improve my confidence and self-esteem and manage my weight.
     This looks like being active at least 3 times per week, as well as eating whole foods. No excuses for being lazy with meal-making. Eating out 1 time per week max (we do brunch every Sunday morning and I love that we do). I have gained a lot of weight over the past couple of months and I need to balance that out (she says as she stuffs taco bell that she's not even enjoying into her face).

I will get at least one massage.

I will explore new places as much as I can.
     Ex. Mexico with Haley, ideally traveling to Japan this year. Applying to exchange or teaching programs. Go places locally with Steve or Haley.

Be more effusive with Steve. Take a more active role in our relationship.
     Stop being so lazy and favor-asking. Reciprocate mushiness more and be more affectionate.

I will dedicate myself to learning Japanese on a consistent basis.
    Baby steps, but I want to do this so badly. I just need to do it.

I will finish my thesis by May.
     I literally have to do this or I will be in Big Trouble. Fo real. Steve says I will be single if I don't. This same thing happened when I didn't want to graduate with my Bachelor's by the end. 

Steve and I have a deal that if I beat a game such as Chrono Cross, I will be allowed to play Persona 5 first.
     I have more time now that the release has been delayed, and he said it doesn't HAVE to be Chrono Cross but definitely a game like it from his nostalgic love. I began the game but for literally no reason other than time I stopped playing. I know it's a good game and I'll love it.

I will be more mindful of my spending in order to help us create a more ideal life.
     We began 2016 as the Year of Savings, but things like my trip to Cincinnati/Cleveland, Skydiving, paying for the trip to Mexico, etc. on top of buying clothes and stuff, it fell apart by June. I want a new computer so badly and of course I ALWAYS want new tattoos. Steve needs a new computer and I desperately want a Vitamix (currently have a couple hundred in cash saved up specifically for that).

Continue to spend almost none time on social media. 
     I have gotten so much of my life and so much time, energy, and happiness back by avoiding it. I need to keep it up.

I will learn to crochet.
    More than just crappy-to-okay doilies. I am talented with knitting, and I'd love to have the versatility of crocheting at my fingertips. The reason I taught myself to knit in 2007 was because I wanted to knit these Harry Potter book scarves - I had a goal in mind that I wanted to achieve. For crochet I want to be able to make SO MANY THINGS. I also get a lot of disappointment from people who can't tell the difference between knitting and crochet and will be all "Can you make this?!?!?!" and I have to let them know that no, sorry, I can't because that's crochet. I would LOVE to be able to crochet these dragonscale gauntlets, but according to people on Ravelry, it's pretty intermediate. I will instead choose a simpler project as a tangible goal by the end of the year: Nyan Cat Scarf. A long time ago at a Comic Con, Steve and I ran into this girl who was wearing the scarf (as well as a Gir shirt!!), and it turns out she'd made it herself. I was so jealous. I was too shy to get info to be her friend (and also, I don't historically make girl friends.. or friends at all because why.. so it didn't cross my mind until later). When I took the picture she was actually singing the nyan cat song and making the nyan cat dance. Too precious. According to the pattern, it uses a lot of basic crochet skills. It would be a good example and culmination of practice over the year.

Date: 2017-01-02 12:23 am (UTC)
kurikuribebi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kurikuribebi
Leave work at work, unless I am consciously choosing to take it home
Arrive at work and leave work at reasonable times, and not feel guilty if others are not doing as I am
I consistently leave work before 5pm the vast majority of the time now.
>>This was an issue I had last year. I always took work home, and if people were staying later, I would as well. As soon as I stopped doing all that, I emotionally felt a lot better and hey, the world didn't fall apart! Work still got done AT WORK. I just had to be a little better with my time while I was there.

Manage exercise at least 3 times per week (whether that ends up being the gym, ITG, or a workout program)
>>I've just begun incorporating healthy things in to my life so that I don't increase gym time. Like taking the stairs, and going up slopes and such.

Fulfilling nutrition choices without consuming my life keeping track of what I am consuming
I have done pretty well at this. I don't track my food anymore because it's not worth the time, and it's helped me practice more awareness of my eating.
>> I feel I eat healthier now that I DONT track, than when I did. I just felt so guilty all the time!


Use social media less, which really means Facebook.
Use my phone less in general.
>>I need to use my phone in daily life for things like google maps and train schedules and ect. Without it, I would be so lost! I use facebook less than I used to, but only because I got smarter with my usage. I started using more and more filters and categorizing, which allowed me to keep in touch with everyone without having to spend an hour scrolling. Now, I check facebook only twice a day, for 10 minutes a piece.


Get rid of junk (an ongoing decluttering project I'm working on). Keep only the things that bring me joy.
>>I was great at this last year! During spring cleaning, I only had three grocery-bag sized bags of trash. I want to continue decluttering though.





Date: 2017-01-03 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vixenofflames.livejournal.com
1. Work at Work: Seriously! Sometimes I still feel guilty not always staying as late as my counterparts, but I've been sooo much better at not just hanging around because I felt like I SHOULD. You're right - things still survive, and we can only be as organized as we can. There will ALWAYS be work to do and making my peace with that has helped so much.

2. Healthy behavior: I never take the elevator, and I park far away, AND I stand all day and go up and down stairs at work and home a lot, but I still feel that overall I am far too sedentary. I feel so much stronger and better when I'm actively trying to get in shape! But I also feel like in America, we drive and do other "sitting" activities much more than other places.

3. Food: Me too! I guess too I'm not one of those people who isn't aware of how much food they're putting into their mouths or how many calories it has - so tracking really just stressed me out as one extra step! It's much better to use my time preparing food than tracking it XD

4. Social Media: Oh gosh, navigation doesn't count! Things like appointments, prescriptions, maps, etc. are all totally fine on my phone. It sounds like you have a great system! I will look into the filters more in the future, but honestly the reason I keep Facebook at all is for Messenger if someone needs to get ahold of me, and for Events. Oh, and all my pictures over the last 12 years!! I don't care THAT much to follow people on Facebook, because I can just text them! I also used to use Tumblr a lot, and occasionally twitter. Now I almost never look at either of them.

5. Decluttering: That's so awesome! That's not a lot of trash at all :D I think it's always ongoing by nature of being human... we just naturally accumulate things and it's about being good at managing what we want to keep and getting rid of things we don't.

Date: 2017-01-09 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ragnarok-08.livejournal.com
Those all sound like great resolutions *^^*

Date: 2017-01-09 11:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vixenofflames.livejournal.com
Thank you!! Other than the horror of the political climate here, I'm really optimistic about how this year will go ^_^

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